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when are you telling?

post #1 of 45
Thread Starter 

I'm 5 weeks along with my second. We have told my sister and one of my best friends that I am pregnant. I was hoping to wait a while to tell our parents and everyone else. We wanted to wait until I was 10 weeks with my first but I got so sick my husband was worried about me and wanted my mom to know so she could help take care of me. I think we told around 7 weeks. I was hoping to wait until around 10 weeks again, but I am already starting to feel sick and I am pretty sure people are going to figure it out. I'm just not sure what to do because I don't want to tell everybody and then have something go wrong :(

What are you doing?

post #2 of 45

I told close friends right away.  I just told my ICAN chapter after I saw the heartbeat on saturday.  I was going to tell the ILs (and then announce publicly) this week but I am having an issue with them right now and don't really want to tell them at all.  greensad.gif  i can't really announce until they know.  

post #3 of 45

I am the worst liar/evader in the entire world, so for us, it does no good to keep things under wraps.  We've only told my mom and a few friends I see daily, but honestly, every time someone jokes about being pregnant or having more, I blush furiously bag.gif, (hee hee).

post #4 of 45

We waited until something like 12-15 weeks with the first (that's a long time but my mom had 2 losses before her first full term pregnancy) My husband was DIEING to tell people.

 

With our second I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was already 10-12 weeks so we shared the news right away.

 

Now with our 3rd I think I'd like to wait until 10-12 weeks. I like the time of quiet and secrecy and thankfully I don't have and 'morning' sickness or showing until the second trimester, so everyone else is usually clueless. :)

post #5 of 45

We already told the kids, immediate family and our closet friends. The rest of the world will find out when I'm showing---which looks like it will be sooner rather than later! I don't think I'll make it to 12-13 weeks...more like 9-10w before people start to notice. 

post #6 of 45

We have told immediate family and some extended family. It's nice to see the responses on here to get an idea of when is "normal" to announce publicly. Maybe end of first trimester? This is #3 for us and I'm never sure when to "officially announce"!

post #7 of 45

DD knows, she always knows eveerythingggg! And I am sure she will share the news with the grandparents. With her we waited till 11 weeks. I go home to visit (we live in denmark now) In june and if she hasnt told by then i have lots of fun ideas on how to break the news at the airport :)

post #8 of 45

I'm hoping to wait to tell family until after my apt on June 8th. We'll wait to make it public a few more weeks after that. I just dont feel pregnant, zero symptoms whatsoever, so I want to wait until after we see a heartbeat to tell family.

post #9 of 45

 We've each told a few close friends but have not told our parents. He will be sharing the news when he visits with them in June and I will likely tell my parents around the same time. They will be very surprised, their youngest grandchild (my neice) is starting HS in the fall.

post #10 of 45

Ideally I'd wait til after the first trimester, since we've had an early loss before.  In reality though, I go on light duty at work (I'm in law enforcement) right after my first midwife appointment.  So everyone at work knows...  So then I feel it's unfair for family not to know.  Basically, everyone ends up knowing really early.  I'd rather it was just my mom, my best friend, and my in-laws, but oh well.

post #11 of 45

I have a serious patience problem, a LOT of people know already.  I waited about 15 minutes before I called dh at school and told him.  The told the kids the next day and then waited and excruciating 2 days to tell my family.  My IL's are out of town so we can't tell them until this weekend.  I haven't announce it at church, facebook or the gym (I'm a workout junky) so that is pretty big.  I think I will trrrryyyy to wait until 8 weeks.

post #12 of 45

We are horrible at keeping the secret. This is our third and I haven't even missed my period yet, but we've told our closest friends and some family. 

 

I'm fortunate to have had 2 healthy pregnancies before but both times we told friends and close family early, the people that I know I will turn to if something did happen to the pregnancy, the people that I feel need to understand what we're going through if there's a loss. I'm a social animal.

 

I will wait to out myself to the general population until after 1st trimester. 

 

As for keeping a secret from people who figure it out, don't worry about that, just don't mention it, let them guess, so what if they figure it out. You're under ZERO social obligation to tell anyone - including family - anything. If someone asks you directly, tell them directly if you want but tell them you aren't telling people yet ask kindly for their confidence. The idiots out there that don't get a woman's desire to keep this important secret can go to hell in my opinion.

post #13 of 45

We told after seeing the heartbeat wtih #1 at 7 weeks.  This time around, we saw the heartbeat and the baby measured 5 weeks.  I'm feeling it's too early and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the concept because it was a total surprise to get a BFP.  However, m/s has arrived earlier this time around and I am dead tired.  I almost spilled the beans at work yesterday.  I need to tell my supervisor first.  I have zero creative ideas for telling the family.  I'm not ready to hear congratulations, although maybe that would make me feel better about the whole situation.  I've also been thinking about how to tell our 4 year old son who has been hearing us speak in code for over a week and I'm sure knows that something is up.  I have a feeling it will be sooner than later that we are telling.  I can't imagine waiting another month or two to tell. 

post #14 of 45

I am not sure what to do about telling people either.  I have told a couple of very close friends (that I would be confiding in and looking to for support if there was a problem anyway).  We are going to see my parents next week, as well as most of my family and a lot of my really good friends who don't live near us.  I am suspecting I will be at least a little sick, and I would rather have a fun announcement than a "hey why do you look so tired and green?" but I will only be 5 weeks.  With DS I told my parents at 5 weeks, but we waited til about 8 wks to tell my IL's.  I was so sick with DS right away that it was hard to hide from any other coworkers or friends in town so everyone knew around 6-7 weeks.  I am still hoping I won't be so sick this time.  I think I was pretty tired right away and a little nauseous between BFP and 5 weeks, but after that it really kicked in.  

I want to wait to tell DS as long as possible, but he's going to know something is up if other people know and it will be hard to keep everyone from slipping up.  hmmmm...

post #15 of 45

I told my best friends right away, and we told our mothers on mother's day (3 weeks along). I can't keep a secret. lol.gif We're telling FIL and the rest of that side of the family when we go out of town with them at the end of the month.

post #16 of 45

We've told a few people. However, as of right now I am perfectly fine not telling anyone and just letting them figure it out on their own.

post #17 of 45

I told my best friend, and of course my DH (he was first) but I don't even want to tell anyone until I'm showing (that won't take long I'm sure).  Since I have given away every baby thing i have and made it very clear that we were "done" I am sure to get lots of snarky comments.  I'm not looking forward to that!!!!

post #18 of 45

I'm interested to know about telling the current child.  My DS has just turned 3.  He has not been asking for a little brother or sister.  Whenever we ask him if he wants one, he sort of says, no, maybe, yes, depending on when we ask and what we talk about (like how many fun things will come along with having a little sibling).  He knows about babies in bellies and such, but certainly not the whole deal!  

If anyone can share their experiences with that I would really appreciate it!

 

post #19 of 45

We are trying to wait a few weeks at least, but both of us are terrible at keeping secrets, so I don't know how long it will last. We haven't even told the kids yet!

post #20 of 45

I told my best friend and my brother.  The kids don't know yet.

 

Fiancee and I aren't getting married for another couple of months, and even though we did try to get pregnant, we don't need people raising eyebrows early on. ;)

 

We just moved into our new home, and are planning to have a housewarming party sometime in July or August. We're planning on hanging a banner that says, "Happy Housewarming" or something to that effect, and then an hour into the party, slyly drop something from behind the banner that says, "And we got married when none of you were paying attention." And maybe an hour after that, drop another something from behind that says, "Oh, and by the way, we're also pregnant."  And then we'll see if people notice... ;)

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