11 month old waking EVERY HOUR at night! HELP!

[UrbanSprout]

Hi Everyone,

My LO is about 11 1/2 months old and has never been a good sleeper.  There have only been a handful of nights EVER that he has slept more than 4 hrs. at a stretch, and his usual is around 2-3.  He wants to nurse all night and will not accept being denied the breast (will literally scream at the top of lungs and will not give up).  He has become an incredibly fitful sleeper and is easily awakened at night.  We have been doing family bed all of his life, but in the last several weeks we tried moving him to a floor bed beside ours since he is so fitful at night (oftentimes kicking, flailing, tossing, turning).  He doesn't mind the new bed and when he awakens I move down to his bed and nurse him back to sleep.  However, the last 2-3 nights he has started waking even more frequently...waking EVERY HOUR all night!  My husband and I are complete zombies and cannot function during the day.  He is likely teething now, but Tylenol doesn't seem to help, and I'm not sure if its truly the cause of all of the night waking (since it has been an issue for so long).  I love breastfeeding and co-sleeping but the lack of sleep right now is making me question all of parenting decisions.  HELP!  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[hattoo]

My DS did the same thing but would flail and go stiff as a board, as though something was paining him. Nothing seemed to work, even nursing would only calm him for 30 minutes and he'd be back to screaming. I finally tried cutting out dairy completely (nothing. Not even in baking) for 2 weeks and it was like we had a whole new guy! He slept better and was generally happier during the day, too. He's 4 now and has grown out of his sensitivity.

You may want to see a naturopath or someone who can identify food sensitivities? I'm glad we did it. It was hard to give up dairy but you learn alternatives and it becomes a way of life. Good luck!

[UrbanSprout]

Thanks Hattoo.  How old was your son when you discovered this?  I do eat dairy and so does my DS (in the form of cheese and yogurt).  It's worth trying.  He doesn't really act like something is paining him, he's just super restless and awakens very frequently.  I'm desperate for some sleep!

[GreenbankMom]

I think we have the same child! Our 13 mo old is the same way in bed. 4 hours of sleep in a row is a miracle. He has gotten much worse in the last month and a half. There was a brief period around 10-11 months where he started sleeping 3-4 hrs peacefully in a row. Now he's up every 1-2 hours and he is a crazy man for the breast. He will scream like it's life or death if he even thinks he's not getting the boob. I don't eat dairy and neither does he, so I know it can't be that. I think it's teeth, he seems very sensitive to teething. We give him Boiron and Hylands, with some results. We tired children's advil too, which took awhile to work, but then did quite well. But I hate to give it to him more than once a week. It feels icky. I don't want to medicate him to sleep! 

I have no advice for you, just commiseration. I have posted similar questions, but gotten no real help. I think overall it is a basic personality issue. Some kids are just like this. They are lousy sleepers. And we as parents are zombies. I go through waves of hopelessness and exhaustion.

Then I tell myself,  "this is who he is".

[desireed]

Well, luckily I don't really need to post. you did it for me. So I do not have any solutions but am another person to share your pain. How are naps for you? I'm typing on my iPhone right now as LO nurses through his entire nap. At night he'll usually sleep a couple of hours on his own after I nurse him to sleep in my bed. I'm grateful for that. I watch an episode of tv with my boyfriend. When I hear him rustling I go to bed. He wakes every hour or will jet nurse constantly in a light sleep. I often feel depressed and hopeless. I doubt my parenting choices. Sometimes, if I'm not super sleep deprived I do understand (or hope) that it is a phase and I'm doing what he needs to get through this phase. He is about 10 months and is teething. However, he has never been a solid sleeper so I too doubt whether that is it. He was a colicky baby and we've been off dairy for a long time. That did help wih his tummy issues overall. But now he's on solids and while I've been careful introducing him to new foods, I wouldn't know where to begin in looking into his diet. Sorry for the babble...Anyway, my next idea is to set up a bed in a really baby proofed room. Nurse him to sleep and try and sleep n another room. I will go to him when he whines but I just need to see if he sleeps better without me. I will post how it goes! Much love to you. I know we will do anything for our LO's!!!

[Unlikely Mama]

Your son sounds extremely overtired. How long is he awake between naps and before bedtime? Multiple night wakings at this age are rarely due to hunger.  They're typically due to habit and/or an age-inappropriate schedule. I don't mean a schedule in the traditional sense. A good example is deciding that bedtime is at 7:30 and keeping a baby up until that time regardless of when their last nap ended. 

[cristeen]

Honestly, neither Hylands or Tylenol ever touched teething pain for us. Advil is where it's at. My preference is definitely not to medicate, but fact is that when I'm in pain, I'll take something, so why deny him the same relief? If he can't sleep due to pain, you're not medicating him to sleep, you're medicating to relieve pain. Sleep is just a side effect.

But, if that doesnt work, i would absolutely try an elimination diet.

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by Unlikely Mama 

Your son sounds extremely overtired. How long is he awake between naps and before bedtime? Multiple night wakings at this age are rarely due to hunger.  They're typically due to habit and/or an age-inappropriate schedule. I don't mean a schedule in the traditional sense. A good example is deciding that bedtime is at 7:30 and keeping a baby up until that time regardless of when their last nap ended. 

This may be the case in some situations, but not in all. I got this kind of response from everyone around me when my DD, who never slept well, woke up like the OP described every 30-90 minutes all night long from when she was 5 months old to when she was 11 months old. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution twice, I tried all it's suggestions. Nothing worked. I'm serious. Nothing. Earlier bedtime did nothing. We put tin foil on the windows, white noise machines galore, the Pantley removal method all night long, for months. Nothing.

Since she was 5 weeks old I had cut all the major allergens out of my diet and that had helped a crying inconsolably for hours situation, but at 12 months we got some blood tests done, IgG and IgE (the former for food intolerances and the latter for allergies). She had a fairly wide spectrum of food intolerances that I would never have guessed at on my own (like sweet potatoes, oats, coconut, broccoli and many more). I cut those out of her diet and mine (though I have been able to add alot back in for me) and she started giving me 5-7 hour stretches the second night. It was almost unbelievable.

I knew it was something medical. She didn't seem like she wanted to be awake. She was tired all the time and she needed the boob at night and thrashed around because she was in pain, not from bad habits. She was actually having nervous system reactions, that heightened her sound and pain sensitivity (imagine a seriously light sleeper and a teether acting like she was being tortured), caused her to wake violently, made her almost manic during the day, and prevented her from sleeping enough or really keeping to a schedule. Now we are on a great schedule (though I don't force her to stay awake until 7:30, bedtime is just from 7-8 depending on things like naps and wake up time).

Also, babies need to nurse for reasons other than hunger and we should pay attention to them, because it could be a sign she is in pain.

[Snapdragon]

have you tried swaddling and giving a pacifier?

[Unlikely Mama]

Originally Posted by Unlikely Mama 

Your son sounds extremely overtired. How long is he awake between naps and before bedtime? Multiple night wakings at this age are rarely due to hunger.  They're typically due to habit and/or an age-inappropriate schedule. I don't mean a schedule in the traditional sense. A good example is deciding that bedtime is at 7:30 and keeping a baby up until that time regardless of when their last nap ended. 

Of course, I'm not suggesting that there is never another reason for babies to wake at night. What I said above is assuming that medical reasons have been ruled out. My personal experience is that not unlike the PP changing her entire diet, which I also did for 4 months (no wheat, soy, dairy, eggs, corn, caffeine, etc.), when I changed her wake times and stopped keeping her up later in hopes that she would sleep later, and honored her innate sleep cycles, it totally changed my baby.  Aside from milestones and sickness, I can now put my DD down awake in her crib for naps and BT and walk out. She still wakes typically once at night, but compared to the months of several wakings a night, it has been like a liberation! Just trying to help a mama out with my own experience.