June mamas: April 4-10

[dharmama]

Yay - I get to start the new thread two weeks in a row! :LOL

QOW:

Are you having a shower and/or birth blessing (I followed the "respecting the term blessing" way thread, which is why I'm calling it a birth blessing)?

This is my first baby...on my mom's side she will be the first grandchild, first great-grandchild and first baby in 16 years and my family is THRILLED that they get to buy baby stuff. So yes...I will be having a shower. My mom is hosting it - a brunch - at her house on May 23rd and it will mostly be just family.

Then my friend Mandy (a MDC mama ) is hosting a birth blessing at my house on June 5th. That will mostly be my friends, women from church, my doula and yoga teachers from the different studios where I work. I'm also inviting the women from my family - who are a little confused as to what the whole thing is about but seem to be keeping an open mind.

Really looking forward to both - but especially the birth blessing.

~Erin

[Greaseball]

I'm not having either one. I don't really know a lot of people here.

[Smithie]

Shower power

I am having one hosted by a pretty traditional cousin (my closest family out here on the Left Coast), so I expect it to be much more "shower" than "blessingway." I'd really get a kick out of seeing all our engineer friends seated in a circle in a guided meditation of my cervix opening like a flower, but they'd just about die. :LOL

[rubelin]

My GF is having a birth blessing for me sometime at the end of this month or beginning of May. We need to figure out a date and all the details but it will basically be some momma friends, goddess friends, mine and Dan's moms and a couple of relatives. Kinda shower-y, but more focused on the blessing part.

With Ben (who is also the first all around) we had a co-ed shower with friends and a family shower. I'm a teeny bit worried that Dan's family will be upset that they aren't being invited to any party (we also are not having a big party for Ben's birthday) but most of me doesn't really care. If one of them wants to throw us a party, we'll happily come but aren't concerned about it otherwise.

[Modesto Doula]

This is my third in under 5 years, so there is no shower action going on here!! Also, people assume that since DH used to do most of the cooking and he now works out of the house that I have all the help I could possibly need, so its not likely I could even get a PP meal from most ppl I know, much less some sibling tending and a nap time.
A doula sister offered to throw me a mother shower (or birth blessing) but I havent taken her up on it yet. I would love to, but I can't host it here at my home and would feel weird asking someone else to host my party, even though I know a few friends would probably be willing.

So for now, no plans. I would like to sign everyone up for PP help though, LOL...

[spatulagirl]

No shower here. I feel weird having a shower. We have no family and just a few close friends though everyone out here has a shower and invites every single person they know. Even if they just met them, they invite them. I have no problem with celebrating the birth of a new one but it seems to be very very materialistic out here which I do have problems with.

That being said, I think they are throwing me something at work. Which is fine... I like my work pals.

Friends... well because of the joys of living overseas on a small navy base most people I am friends with (and whom I would want to invite to a shower) are not talking to each other. We went through this at DS's birthday party and I don't really feel like going through it again. So DH and I don't want one.

[Doodlebugsmom]

Hello everyone! I'm glad you all seem to be doing well. I've been feeling pretty good. I'm definately tired all the time and have had a few really bad dizzy spells where I've come close to fainting. My mw didn't seem too concerned about it, so I guess I shouldn't worry. I read that it is very common to have dizzy spells and even fainting during pregnancy.

As for the QOW, no I won't be having a shower this time. I had three last time, one of which was a surprise thrown by my former collegues who I worked with at a spa. It was really generous of them. I also had a big co-ed one thrown by a friend. It was cool. All of our best friends from out of town came in. Everyone except for me partied really hard that weekend! My mom gave me a traditional shower with just women family members attended. It's amamzing how much stuff you get at showers. I don't need a single thing this time!

[Ceili]

I don't know if I'm having a shower or not. I heard some hinting around the theatre where I work, but nothing beyond that. I hope something comes of it. It might be shallow and materialistic, but I've not had a party thrown for me since I graduated from high school (over 10 years ago).

Since DSO aren't married (and who knows if that will ever change) I didn't get any of the normal wedding stuff and I feel like I'm missing out on the closest thing to rites of passage that our culture has. Sometimes I just crave normalcy.

[eilonwy]

I don't think anyone has anything remotely shower-like planned for us. It's kind of a bummer, because there's lots of stuff we could really use like diapers & covers, (we didn't start cloth with Eli until he was 6 months old) and summer clothes (Eli was a winter baby). If this is a girl, well, I have nothing remotely girly around. My nieces' stuff has already been passed along (they are almost 4 and almost 7) so even though they were spring/summer babies, there's really nothing for this one. I think that people figure that because they're so close together they'll have plenty of hand-me-downs for one another. But what if this baby is not a slow-grow, like EliBean? It's entirely possible that at 6 months this child could be wearing the same size clothing that Eli's wearing right now, and that at 12 months they'll be in the same size if the NewBean isn't just plain bigger. In fact, if NewBean is average in that respect, that's exactly what *will* happen. Eli is 17 months old and only now does a 6-12 month size fit him properly. My niece wore a 6-12 month size when she was three months old! At any rate.. we'll see what happens. I'm sure that we'll deal!

I'm starting to really feel like I'm in the third trimester. While the discomforts of pregnancy have multiplied, I find that I'm so relieved and in so much less pain than I was with Eli that I'm downright cheerful about bearing it. For example, I had a bad headache yesterday. It was unpleasant, but I almost had to laugh when I realized that aside from when I was sick, it was by far the worst headache I'd had during this pregnancy-- and it didn't hold a candle to the ones I had carrying Eli. I spent my first trimester with him having 4-6 migraines/week, which would incapacitate me for hours on end. The tension headache of the third trimester was constant and totally unrelenting (didn't go away until 2 months pp). I couldn't get any relief at all. The headache I had yesterday subsided when I took some extra strength tylenol and had Mike give me a "beating". Amazing! So I'm feeling much more tired/stressed/achy/stretched than I have with this pregnancy, but it's so much easier than Eli's that they don't compare. Perhaps this bodes well for labor? One can only hope! :LOL

[dharmama]

I think my baby thinks it's funny to dance on my bladder. :

Ay, ye, ye....I've had a couple of kicks (punches?) lately that make me double over....not from pain just from the intensity (such a weird, kind of tickly sensation) and the fact that she keeps directly hitting my bladder.

~Erin

[Steve's Sweety]

We're having 3 showers - 1 co-ed for friends, 1 for my side of the family and 1 for his side of the family. And they are all pretty much in a row. I think 3 is a bit much, but they were all offered and hey, we like parties.
OBOL will be the 2nd grandbaby, but only bc SIL got PG first (by 4 wks!) even though they weren't trying. (Whole 'nother issue I won't go into right now). But they are in Cali and we are here near the fam. I do feel kind of weird though bc they only put a handful of things on their (1) registry and we have 3 and have a ton of stuff on them.

[Smithie]

Oh, God. I cannot breathe. I don't know how this happened so quickly!

I couldn't sleep last night, because, well, I can't breathe. I feel horrible. Thank God I can lie down and try to whenever I want to today. You mamas who work up until the due date are heroes. Or martyrs.

[eilonwy]

ah, the bladder dance. i know it well! this baby seems to think that my colon is the most fabulous toy ever, and it's been causing me some problems.. every time newbean kicks/grabs/punches my colon, it spasms and i go flying to the bathroom . very unpleasant!

eli has taken to admonishing the newbean when he gets kicked. :LOL it's hilarious. he says "no, sibling! don't kick!" because it happens most when he's trying to nurse. it's kind of cute. or maybe i'm strange

i've also noticed that when newbean is head down (still flipping around alot!) and turns his/her head, i lose my balance. i remember this from elibean, but it didn't happen until closer to the end. i think this baby is just sitting a lot lower, yk?

[mattjule]

Well, I wasn't going to have a shower with Tain-most of the people that would be invited are ppl I never talk to unless I'm having a shower (i.e. MIL's friends from church, etc.). I decided I didn't want one b/c I feel like I only have contact with them when I am receiving presents and that just feels yucky. A good friend of ours got together with MIL and threw me one anyway, but only invited some close friends and it was co-ed. Then a few months after he was born we traveled 2 hrs away to my hometown and had a shower with all the ladies that I had grown up with. That way they got to see the baby too.

This time around, we live 3 states away and have no family and really no friends. Dh has 2 friends from work, one male, one female, so it isn't likely that we'll do anything.

I would have liked a blessing rather than a shower. Maybe my gf who is coming out for the birth and I can do something special when she gets here.

Rynna-Tain was born in March in CA so he was practically a summer baby. I have a bag of stuff I was going to send to a pregnancy crisis center (but since they couldn't help me w/postage I'm not doing it) so I probably have a fair amt of stuff I can send your way. Also, MIL bought a bunch of outfits for the boys for summer and I don't need that many clothes (not to mention I don't like separate shirt/shorts for little babies). I can't return them since she got them at Tuesday Morning. Let me know if you are interested/what you are interested in.

I still feel weird about the size of my belly. It feels really small. DH thinks I am crazy. When I catch my reflection somewhere, I am surprised by the size of it b/c looking down it certainly doesn't look that big. Rowan is moving around a lot, though, so I am not worried about his health. I have a mw appt tomorrow, hopefully I am just hallucinating!

And shortness of breath! God, if I eat anything, sometimes even without eating, I feel like I can't breathe. Mw told me studies show it is psychosomatic. I really didn't appreciate that comment. Like I want to feel like I can't breathe. I think she meant it to be reassuring, like "don't worry, you and baby are still getting plenty of oxygen" instead it sounded like I was making it all up. But it certainly does suck. I have found that walking helps. Gravity is a powerful thing. Lying down also helps. Well, I need to get going. Have a great day!

[3girlsmommy]

Warning pity party ahead!!
The QOW is a big sore spot for me right now. I would love to have a shower or a birth blessing or just acknowledgment that I am in fact creating a life. It's not that I want presents because we really only need a few things but for me it's just about feeling special. My mom threw me a shower for my first but I basiclly did all the work and she complained about having to do anything related to my shower and made me feel like I should be grateful for what she did do. : With my second well I disappointed everyone and had another girl so of course there were no celebrations and barely anyone in my family even sent a card. If I would just have a boy there would be a big celebration but since I wouldn't find out what the baby is that I'm carrying then I get nothing! I actually had a huge breakdown yesterday about all this. I went to a wonderful family and freind filled shower for one of my friends on Saturday and then one of my other friends that lives across the country was telling me about the showers/teas her friends are throwing her and I just got so depressed.
My neighbors might do a small lunch thing for me which will be nice but they are not the types to do a birth blessing.
Sorry about the pity party!

[eilonwy]

my belly seems small to me, too. i really think that this baby is smaller. both mike and my mother say it's just that i'm carrying differently, that i was this big carrying eli but it just doesn't seem possible. of course, part of it is that everything was sooo painful. my round ligaments and skin stretching were unbearable with eli, and this time i hardly notice my skin at all and my round ligaments only if i turn too fast or sneeze. :LOL

the breathing thing being psychosomatic doesn't make much sense to me... your brain can register even a very tiny shift in your oxygen saturation.. like, 2%. if your level goes from 100% to 98%, you're going to feel short of breath even though you're still technically getting enough. this happens to me all the time (asthma : ) and i've paid attention to it. at 97%, you can feel like you're not getting enough air even though you may not have any other symptoms of oxygen deprivation. at any rate.. i find that changing positions helps. i get up and kind of wiggle my back around and get a few good deep breaths in and i feel lots better . of course, i tend to get used to a limited supply of oxygen very quickly... the last time i went in for a breathing treatment, my lips, nailbeds and fingers were blue and i honestly thought it was because i was cold until she hooked me up to the pulse oximiter. :LOL after the breathing treatment, i was dizzy with relief and realized that i had been feeling so cold because of the lack of oxygen when the blood started rushing around to my extremities. it was pretty funny, i was so relieved. :LOL

argh!! it should be naptime, but someone is fighting it!!!

[Greaseball]

There should be an online "I don't have any friends" blessingway!

[Steve's Sweety]

Greaseball - Excellent idea, even though I'm new here and don't really know what that is.:LOL

And shortness of breath! God, if I eat anything, sometimes even without eating, I feel like I can't breathe. Mw told me studies show it is psychosomatic.

What a poor choice of words to say to a pregnant woman! I have I guess been lucky as I have not experienced that yet at 30 wks. I feel like I should bc I am short and short torsoed. Maybe OBOL is low. I do have to pee a lot.:

[Modesto Doula]

Why dont we do it? We could throw our own birth blessing... We can do something fabulous for us, I know it.

One of the things we could start now would be a labor bracelet... At a birth blessing the participants might be wrapped in string, then the string is cut between them and wrapped around their wrist to be cut off when they hear that the birth is done and baby is well.

We could kinda combine that with the blessing-beads and mail it around. The first person could mail off a very long piece of thread and a bead, with a blessing written for the momma to recieve. the first momma reads her blessing, threads her bead and wraps her wrist and cuts the string. Then she adds a bead for the next momma and writes a blessing for her before she mails it...

Then we can keep them on until we hear the group of birth stories...

How about it?

[3girlsmommy]

Brooke- I LOVE that idea! Each person would keep a bead and a piece of string right? That would be very cool! Now who wants to organize and start it. We don't have much time left!!!