In the "old days" it was considered usual for the husband to tip the ob, even. It didn't occur to me when using a birth center and I hadn't met the midwife before labor, but this time I feel differently. Also I am a doula now and it is very nice when people tip or otherwise give a gift. Not many do, and I don't expect it, but it is very touching and in the case of a tip truly helpful. My midwife has admired a lot of my handmade silver and bronze jewellery so we will probably order something from our friends who make it for her as well as a tip. And tips for the assistants.
One midwife (not mine) I spoke to said she has never, ever gotten her whole fee. Either people are paying out of pocket and have to make arrangements, or she has to accept what their insurance will cover. So a cash tip can be very nice for people, though many feel it's callous or shallow. Even though you are paying a fee, and they are being paid out of that, a tip is something just for them to do as they wish and I think is a nice thing to do if you can afford it.
I am not likely to have any kind of baby shower as I don't know many people here well enough and my husband's family isn't very enthusiastic about this pregnancy, and we don't seem to be the kind of people others throw parties for. I would like to have some kind of potluck or party before the birth just so we can see everyone before then. An un-baby shower.
I am conflicted about registering, as I've said before. The few things we need are big-ticket items and I honestly couldn't find anything smaller to pad out the registry if I tried, because I like to keep such things at a bare minimum. We also have kept or borrowed smaller things, and I sew so there are already at least two rainbow silk/flannel blankets. So the only things on a BRU registry would be the carseat, playpen/center thing and the stroller. I would love to register for cloth diapers at diaperaps or ask for gift certificates but I doubt anyone would contribute to that. Unfortunately we could really use the help.
My sister-in-law just had a very early miscarriage that she is not really upset about at all. My mother-in-law told me how she herself, however, was really upset and disappointed, that she was really excited about having another grandchild. (!) I was amazed, not that she feels that way, because she obviously feels my niece is her real grandchild, but that she would say it to me. (My daughter is her first grandchild) She is going to be in Europe around the time our baby is due and after that doesn't know what her vacation plans are yet. (!)
30 week visit this week and though I thoroughly enjoy pregnancy I am starting to think it will be nice not to worry about the protein vs carbs thing anymore. Because it is in vogue with all the atkins nonsense it is annoying me to have to think about it. But I also don't want an enormous baby so I am putting up with it. It is getting hot here and that means most protein that I can eat- veggie fake meat products, beans, soy, tofu, dairy- are starting to seem very heavy and off-putting.
Since my daughter was born at 37 weeks I suppose I really should be getting more of this ready and in order, or at least planned out, but I am less motivated to do so than I was say ten weeks ago, when I had to restrain myself because it was so early. We have a moses basket and I'll order the diapers at the beginning of May, and the birthkit whenever my midwife gives me the instructions, and really that's all one needs until the birth other than a carseat. We're not doing a nursery so anything else can really wait.
I have been having more vivid dreams than ever, which I hardly thought possible. Both the happy kind about the baby and the horrible kind about deformities/loss/weirdness. They are very interesting though and reassuring in their normalcy.
I am now only able to sleep deeply between five and ten in the morning, which with a homeschooled ten year old is not good. But we are an erratic and flexible household so I guess I should just accept it's who we are. She doesn't care for getting up early either.
The consensus among the old ladies at passover dinner was that this is a boy. "You don't look like a cow." I found it charming actually because in this age of everyone knowing the gender ahead of time there is less opportunity for all this traditional speculation and wondering who is right. No one has expressed even a remote idea that I am having a girl. Anyone who has an opinion says it's a boy. I am starting to get excited to find out myself and hope I will not feel disappointment at one gender over another. I felt like this when I had my daughter and by the time she was born I didn't really care anymore. This time, though, I have to admit I really want a boy. When I had her everyone did say it was a girl even though I wanted a boy then too. Sometimes I think it might be more likely for the siblings to be close if they are both girls, with ten years between them, but I know plenty of sets of siblings that far apart who are close despite being opposite genders.
So since I am here so infrequently these days I have now hogged a considerable amount of space, as my belly is doing. At least once a day I think, there *must* be two babies in here!