I planned a homebirth 11 months ago that ended in a hospital transport with the help of an episiotomy & vacuum to deliver baby. While I am grateful to have labored all the way up until pushing at home, because I think had I been at the hospital I would have definitely had a cs- I am somewhat traumatized or now have a bad taste in my mouth for hb. I know that most of it WAS the terrible care I received from my midwives, thats another post. But I am also ticked off at how "peachy" homebirth is painted out to be. ALL the videos I ever saw were of a mother who hardly made any noise in labor, baby came out text book perfect and everything was just this "oh magical, wonderful, safe, experience. And I watched A LOT of homebirths!! Being a first time mom, I had no idea and no one ever told me how UNpretty homebirth really is. I now know that the more realistic video of a hb is mother being extremely vocal and in A WORLD of pain but still ends up feeling satisfaction in the end for having labored and delivered unmedicated.
I am just a little angry and how calm, peaceful, perfect and safe hb is painted out to be.
Since my experience I am now coming across tons of stories where things ended terribly or tragically for many mothers & babies. And the line about "statistically hb is safer" Well that is because ONLY low risk women deliver at home. ALL high risk cases, both mothers & babies involved deliver in a hospital, so naturally babies with congenital defects and such are going to account for more neonatal deaths in hospitals. So I believe the statistics could be skewed.
I know there are mostly hb advocates on here, so please forgive if I offend anyone or your birthing philosophies. I want to believe in hb, I do!! I wanted to have the peaceful hb, shower in my shower after, be in my bed to rest, etc, etc. But because that didn't happen, I now realize how REAL transporting is and how many things could go wrong and how terribly they end.
Having said all that, some part of me is still wanting to believe in hb and wanting to try again with baby #2 but as of now, an even bigger part of me..... a gut feeling is saying, the risk isn't worth it.
Currently I view it as in a hospital you risk having to have a c-section, while at home you risk losing your baby or your life.
Anyone want to convince me otherwise, I would LOVE to hear it. As I said, I want to believe in hb but something inside me says it's not for me. Which I question how that can be if ALL you read and see and hear about is how "out of this world" the experience is.
Thanks for your input.