Help- DS keeps undoing carseat harness

[shimsheree]

DS is 3.5 years old and has learned how to unbuckle his carseat harness and he does it while we're driving.  Sometimes he'll be fine and leave it buckled, but if he gets mad about something, or something doesn't go his way, he'll undo it.  Or if we just got him all buckled up, he'll just undo it.  We pull over when he does it, but it just ends up being a huge thing and we CANNOT get him buckled up without him undoing it right away.

I picked DH up at the train station today and DS would NOT keep it buckled!  We were both so frustrated and didn't know what to do.  We tried so many different things and finally DH had to reach back and hold the harness together, while we were driving, so DS wouldn't undo it.  

Just talking to DS or explaining how it's unsafe or he could get hurt or anything like that doesn't do any good while in the moment.  He will say he wants to do the opposite of what we're saying and just won't stop trying to get it undone.  We try playful parenting things, and sometimes that does work to get him in his carseat and buckled up, but not always. 

I think it's to the point where I may not be able to drive with him, but that's not totally realistic because we can't stay home all the time.  Oh, and we also don't use punishment or threats or bribery or rewards either.  Any help would be SO appreciated!

Thanks,

Sheree

Edited by shimsheree - 3/21/12 at 12:08am

[MovnMama]

Our DS has gone through a similar growth. Being able to do the harness on the car seat. We had some real blow outs (he'll be four in July). Those were all about power. Then we changed strategies to give him control, which is what he wanted in the first place. So now it's his job to do the top buckle in car trips (with us there to observe the "click" etc, of course). He takes it much more seriously now. It's a responsibility, you know... And he's such a big boy helper to do it all by himself. He calls himself a "driver".

"Mama, you know that I'm a driver too, and it's my job to do the buckle, because I'm a driver..."

Never unbuckles in the car anymore. That's not what "big boy drivers" do...

HTH!