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Husband steps out when toddler in tub - Page 3

post #41 of 82

I bring a magazine into the bathroom or make myself be in the moment while she bathes (she is 14mths - I guess, much younger then 20mths) I discovered the reason I would step out to get the towel or pjs or anything is because it is in my nature to always be doing something; prone to multi task. The item is never really needed at that moment; its the need to be doing something / preparing as opposed to sitting. One time, she was sitting in the bath with her 8 year old brother, I stepped out to get a towel and when I returned my son was lifting her up into a sitting position as she had slipped back and went under ... I hadnt heard any splashing/noise going down, I heard commotion while he was bringing her up. This is why I now just make myself SIT in there.

 

If you are uncomfortable with it, speak with your husband. Ditto waiting2bemommy


Edited by SunRise - 5/13/11 at 3:39am
post #42 of 82

All children are different. You can not and should not treat all children the same. They behave differently, they think differently, their physical limitations are different.   Some kids can be left for a few seconds at 18 months, some it's risky to literally take your eyes off of them at 3 years. Only YOU know your children well enough to determine the safety threshold.

post #43 of 82

Absolutely not. My child is 25 months and I still wouldn't do it!

post #44 of 82

I think if it bothers you that much you need to take over bath time. 

post #45 of 82

I wouldn't leave a child that young alone in the tub even for a couple of seconds. I always take baths with my 20 mo old, or stay just beside the tub. I had to fish her out a couple of times when she was younger (around 15 months). Now she is more stable and takes baths with her 6 y/o brother, but I wouldn't put the burden of watching a toddler on a 6 y/o. I remember watching on "The Biggest Loser" the story of a lady whose 2y/o brother drowned while she was 4, and in a kiddie pool with him. Their parents had stepped out "to get a towel".

post #46 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post

I think if it bothers you that much you need to take over bath time. 


OK don't know about the OP, but by that standard I would be doing everything and my DH would be doing nothing...
post #47 of 82

This is a situation where I am very strict that young children should never be left alone, even for a second when they are with water. A child being injured in the bath while the parent steps out is completely preventable and therefore not worth it to me. 30 seconds, 20 seconds, 10 seconds...sounds like a very short time and in many ways it is. I look at my little one though and think of how many times he has fallen or lost his balance, etc when he is just sitting on the floor, or reaching for a toy in the playroom. These falls certainly do not take even close to 10 seconds, and they are not on a slippery surface. As a previous poster said, it just takes that one breath...

 

I guess I would rather carry a wet baby into the hallway, put pajamas on in the bedroom, or live with a stinky diaper for a little bit, than know my child was injured for convenience.

post #48 of 82

Absolutely not ok, even for 10 seconds.  I have a relative who left her 2yo son in the tub for a split second to grab something and she lost her son.  It's too upsetting to recount the details, but they're not even important.  Never leave a child unattended in a tub, a split second can and will change your life forever. 

post #49 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by jules33 View Post

Absolutely not ok, even for 10 seconds.  I have a relative who left her 2yo son in the tub for a split second to grab something and she lost her son.  It's too upsetting to recount the details, but they're not even important.  Never leave a child unattended in a tub, a split second can and will change your life forever. 


Thank you for your post. It helps remind everyone that this is a serious safety issue.
post #50 of 82

I give the baths at home and do this occasionally with my 18 month old. He is very well coordinated, has a non slip mat in the tub and I literally run to get what i need and run back. I would not panic or anything, or certainly not beat down your husband for this. 

post #51 of 82

It only takes 20 seconds for a child to drown. 

post #52 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post

I think if it bothers you that much you need to take over bath time. 




OK don't know about the OP, but by that standard I would be doing everything and my DH would be doing nothing...


Is EVERYTHING that your DH does a safety issue? If not, then I doubt you'd be doing everything.

 

My DH does not load the dishwasher the way I like, but hey, the dishes still get clean and nobody drowns or gets hurt. Not worth fighting about.

 

post #53 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post




Is EVERYTHING that your DH does a safety issue? If not, then I doubt you'd be doing everything.

 

My DH does not load the dishwasher the way I like, but hey, the dishes still get clean and nobody drowns or gets hurt. Not worth fighting about.

 


Of course not everything he does is a safety issue. But yeah, a lot of it is. He is the type to have DS help unload the dishwasher while sharp knives are still in the basket, or to cook with DS right near the knives or hot pans (and DS grabs whatever is in reach). I will often walk into the room to see DS playing with a drill or eying the saw while DH is distracted with something. Just a few examples... I think just about every injury DS has ever gotten has been on DH's watch. And yes, it bothers me, but I try to just let them do their thing... because I know I am hyper-aware of dangers and he is not. I am not saying I just hover on my watch and let DS do nothing, of course! Only was responding to the 'if it bothers you, do it yourself' comment, because even other non-safety (but still serious) issues with DH bother me and I simply can't take over all of it because that wouldn't be fair to any of us. It seems much more reasonable to me for the OP to talk to her DH about it bothering her & come up with a solution together -- maybe that WILL be that she takes over bath time, but maybe her DH really loves doing it & just wasn't aware of the dangers of stepping out and would be happy to stay in the room. A lot of times when I talk to DH about these kind of things he either wasn't aware of the danger, or thought he was giving me a break and didn't want to disturb me or whatever. I'm not talking about him not vacuuming the 'right' way or loading the dishwasher properly -- I'm talking about things that are either dangerous, destructive, or have an otherwise negative impact long-term etc.
post #54 of 82

I guess I just can't wrap my brain around any of that. Sorry you're dealing with it. It just seems bizarre to me that an adult would be that oblivious to obvious dangers like knives and power tools.

post #55 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post

I guess I just can't wrap my brain around any of that. Sorry you're dealing with it. It just seems bizarre to me that an adult would be that oblivious to obvious dangers like knives and power tools.


You're telling me. eyesroll.gif
post #56 of 82

At 20 mths old I would not have done that with my son, but he is now 25 mths old and I have begun leaving for a few seconds; although never as much as 30 seconds.   But my son tends to stand and has slipped even while I'm in the bathroom.  Sorry, but 30 seconds seems like too long.  A few seconds I can see.

post #57 of 82

I have no problem  doing things when my toddler is in the tub.  I put towels away run for clothes in the bedroom my washer and dryer are up stairs so I will switch over a load and bring the basket back etc.   Im usually yelling to stop splashing or dumping water out of the tub.  Ive done the same with the other 3.  

post #58 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post

I have no problem  doing things when my toddler is in the tub.  I put towels away run for clothes in the bedroom my washer and dryer are up stairs so I will switch over a load and bring the basket back etc.   Im usually yelling to stop splashing or dumping water out of the tub.  Ive done the same with the other 3.  


I never wore seat belts as a kid. Neither did my husband. But our kids do, because now we know better.

 

You've been lucky.

 

post #59 of 82


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by jules33 View Post

Absolutely not ok, even for 10 seconds.  I have a relative who left her 2yo son in the tub for a split second to grab something and she lost her son.  It's too upsetting to recount the details, but they're not even important.  Never leave a child unattended in a tub, a split second can and will change your life forever. 




Thank you for your post. It helps remind everyone that this is a serious safety issue.


ITA.  Not even for one second.  I've seen my 3yo lose her seat and slide right under the water, looking up at me in horror -- there's no way I'd let her bathe unattended for a second, much less my 16mo, who I don't think could right herself if she tipped, even on a non-skid mat.  I agree with the pp who makes the argument that partners should always respect the other's safety concerns.

 

post #60 of 82
Im not really one to worry about safety constantly (we live in a house with two woodstoves, have bakers racks for kitchen shelving, we have spiders, ect. so there is only so much I can do. Im not going to live in a carpeted, sanitary environment just because there are safety issues. Safety issues are everywhere all the time.) but leaving kids around water really scares me. I dont have a bathtub, so I bath DD in the sink or in the shower. When she is in the sink, I dont turn my back because Im terrified that she will stand up and fall.
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