Husband steps out when toddler in tub - Page 4

[Adaline'sMama]

Also, I just have to ask everyone who is scared their kids will be scalded, is you water heater not turned down to a safe temp?

[insidevoice]

I do leave my almost 3 year old for a couple moments here and there- to check on his sibling, or if I need to grab his pajamas for after the bath.   If I do step away where I don't have direct line of sight visibility with him I listen and talk or get him to sing a song with me.  Of course, our house is about 900 sq feet with very thin walls, so there is never an out of earshot moment.  I've just started reaching this level of comfort with him in the past month or so.   My kids also love baths together, I will not step away with two toddlers in a tub, but I take the younger one out first and my older toddler loves his time to himself and his 'pivcee' (privacy) when I get his brother dressed in the hallway outside the bathroom (door open.) He verbally communicates about his feeling like a big boy, and since he's a largely non-verbal child, that's a BIG deal and I will do anything I can to reinforce it. 

Our hot water heater is set to a safe level, so that's not something I worry about, the faucet has a padded cover, and there is a padded mat on the bottom of the tub.  I won't step away when water is running, as that would mask the sound of his play/singing.  

My younger son- I suspect he'll be at least 10 before I dare step out.  He's a climber and a daredevil, and he shows no sign of caring whether his face is in the water or out.  (He LOVES to lie on his tummy and stick his face under the water.) He's now 20 months old, and it's just not anywhere near ready to be out of direct line of sight (and probably arm's reach) supervision.  If I forget a towel, I pull the plug and drag him out to shiver for a moment while I get it. 

Toddler is a pretty broad range of development, and as parents there is a point where we need to start giving kids a little space and room to find their limits.  If the bathtub isn't a place you are comfortable with that- that is totally understandable.  For those of us who are though, it is entirely possible to do so with some safety measures in place. 

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

Also, I just have to ask everyone who is scared their kids will be scalded, is you water heater not turned down to a safe temp?

actually because we live with our MIL and she takes baths for HOURS that are literally scalding hot we have a water heater that is NOT at a safe temp and she won't let us turn it down. We've asked multiple times but no way...

So with that in mind and the fact that DD can officially pull on and turn the water in the tub scalding is unfortunately a concern. Sigh, I wish it wasn't so it could be one less thing to worry about there ya go

[Adaline'sMama]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

actually because we live with our MIL and she takes baths for HOURS that are literally scalding hot we have a water heater that is NOT at a safe temp and she won't let us turn it down. We've asked multiple times but no way...

So with that in mind and the fact that DD can officially pull on and turn the water in the tub scalding is unfortunately a concern. Sigh, I wish it wasn't so it could be one less thing to worry about there ya go

That sucks. I know there are lots of mamas who live in apartments or with family where they have to worry about that. Its one thing I can breath easy on.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

actually because we live with our MIL and she takes baths for HOURS that are literally scalding hot we have a water heater that is NOT at a safe temp and she won't let us turn it down. We've asked multiple times but no way...

So with that in mind and the fact that DD can officially pull on and turn the water in the tub scalding is unfortunately a concern. Sigh, I wish it wasn't so it could be one less thing to worry about there ya go

That sucks. I know there are lots of mamas who live in apartments or with family where they have to worry about that. Its one thing I can breath easy on.

tell me about it! ask me how many times I burned the bleep out of my hands doing dishes, apparently I just can't learn.
 

[vulnerable]

there was a little boy who was 20 months that just died in my town from being left unattended in the bath.  i am a single mom and make sure i have everything before i let her get in the tub.  i would never leave her alone, i am too paranoid about drowning or slipping.  not worth it in my opinion.

[insidevoice]

Out of curiosity, for those who don't step away at all, at what age do you see yourself doing that?  In my experience, it's a progression from moments to minutes over months/years until the child is on their own in the tub. Of course, I still check in on my nearly 10 year old when she is in the tub....  usually just by knocking on the door and asking if she's waterlogged yet.

[transylvania_mom]

Originally Posted by insidevoice 

Out of curiosity, for those who don't step away at all, at what age do you see yourself doing that?  In my experience, it's a progression from moments to minutes over months/years until the child is on their own in the tub. Of course, I still check in on my nearly 10 year old when she is in the tub....  usually just by knocking on the door and asking if she's waterlogged yet.

For ds, I think it was around 3.5. He's 6 y/o now and bathes by himself, no problem.

[Lisa1970]

Even when you turn it down to a "safe" level, there is still a potential.
 

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

Also, I just have to ask everyone who is scared their kids will be scalded, is you water heater not turned down to a safe temp?

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by vulnerable 

there was a little boy who was 20 months that just died in my town from being left unattended in the bath.  i am a single mom and make sure i have everything before i let her get in the tub.  i would never leave her alone, i am too paranoid about drowning or slipping.  not worth it in my opinion.

That is not paranoid, that is being safe. Sometimes, when I hear of a child dying, but then it comes out that the parents did not supervise the child or thought they could step away "for just a second," while I still feel awful for them, I feel like the parent should be prosecuted. It is everywhere to not leave a child unattended in water, but parents still do it. The child loses his/her life, or maybe ends up a vegetable for life, all because the parent didn't care or want to supervise the child 100%. If it happened in the care of a babysitter or something, the parents would go after that sitter with everything they can. But it often happens with parents and grandparents.

[insidevoice]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970 

Even when you turn it down to a "safe" level, there is still a potential.
 

Potential for what?  Our hot water to the bathtub and faucets other than the kitchen sink and dishwasher are set to a temperature that can't cause a burn or scald.  DD was badly burned at her school when she was small and became terrified of turning on the hot water at all, so we set the water heater to bathwater temp.  We use a second heater for the kitchen water to bring it up to a dishwashing temp. 

[kcparker]

I am a fan of our rubber bath mat - it keeps them from sliding on the bottom of the tub. I stay with them and sit next to the tub, partly for safety, partly to keep the peace and recite the "water stays IN THE TUB" mantra. If I even try to read a book while I am in there with them instead of paying 100% attention, DS1 will dump water all over his brother, somebody will decide that there's "not enough water" and try to turn on the tap, and tub-tsunamis are always an imminent threat. I know, less scary than drowning, but still something to stop before it starts.

[~pi]

No, I would not leave a child that age alone in the tub, not even for 3 seconds, let alone 30.

I would approach this question in a different way. A lot of people are implying that it is inevitable to forget the towel. I think it's something that can be mostly conditioned.

In other words, if there are no natural consequences for forgetting the towel (i.e., if it's acceptable to just step out and grab it) there is little incentive to learn to make sure to have everything in place ahead of time.

On the other hand, if it is a house rule not to leave the child alone in the bath, you learn quickly to have everything you need ahead of time. Our rule has always been that if with a child under 5, if we forget the towel, DS comes out of the bath, and we take him with us to go get it. Neither DH nor I has forgotten the towel more than once or twice after that.

[Honey693]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

Also, I just have to ask everyone who is scared their kids will be scalded, is you water heater not turned down to a safe temp?

Our heater isn't turned down, but then again I'm not worried about scalding either.

[mamandedeux]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970 

If a child falls and takes in one deep breath, and then missing the breath in the next second, they can have "near drowning." The kids with "near drowning" are not included in the drowning statistics if they do not die within a very short period of time. Some of them will die eventually. Some of them will be severely disabled. A victim of near drowning rarely makes it out with a normal life. 

This happened to my 4-year-old very recently. Yes, a 4-year-old. He ''inhaled'' water by accident. He almost drowned in about a foot of water. I never would have known if I hadn't been sitting on the toilet, right next to the tub. I pulled him out of the bath.

For what it's worth, I bathe both boys together (4 and 18 months) and never, ever leave them.

Life is all about deciding what risks you're willing to take - I err on the side of caution.

[mamandedeux]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

actually because we live with our MIL and she takes baths for HOURS that are literally scalding hot we have a water heater that is NOT at a safe temp and she won't let us turn it down. We've asked multiple times but no way...

So with that in mind and the fact that DD can officially pull on and turn the water in the tub scalding is unfortunately a concern. Sigh, I wish it wasn't so it could be one less thing to worry about there ya go

That sucks. I know there are lots of mamas who live in apartments or with family where they have to worry about that. Its one thing I can breath easy on.

We bought a faucet with a built-in lock so that the hot water tap can never be turned on all the way. A small expense, but a big relief!

[luckymamaoftwo]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970 

I have known children to die from being left "for only a second" "to grab a towel" etc. 

I also know two families who did this and lost their children. It is NOT ok in our household.

[Blessed_Mom]

I am a bit curious and this is off-topic but the question springs to mind - do all of your kids' baths always consist of - "baths"? Meaning the whole - filling the tub to a level, letting them soak for a while and then taking them out? How long do you let your babies soak? And after they are done in the bath - but are still covered in bubbles (and dirty water) - what do you do then? Do you run them through the shower before towelling off? I am kind of baffled.

[treeoflife3]

My kiddo is 26 months and we stopped doing baths at every washing (and we didn't wash more than a couple times a week) around 14 months... we only shower together now.  The only time we take a bath is when we are sick and could use the steam/hot water/eucalyptus or we are having a really tantrumy day and need the fun of a bath to splash in and play with bubbles.  When we were using a bath as the means for washing, we didn't do bubble baths and used a small enough amount of soap that kiddo didn't get out covered in bubbles.  kiddo wasn't getting that dirty at the time anyway so I'd hardly call the bath water dirty.  at that time, no I didn't usually rinse her off as I figured the water more than diluted the soap and bit of dirt being washed off her.  She has really sensitive skin but was fine.  Didn't cause any issues.

we do rinse off quickly though after bubble baths now at this age though as there is enough to cause issue if it sits on her skin.
 

Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom 

I am a bit curious and this is off-topic but the question springs to mind - do all of your kids' baths always consist of - "baths"? Meaning the whole - filling the tub to a level, letting them soak for a while and then taking them out? How long do you let your babies soak? And after they are done in the bath - but are still covered in bubbles (and dirty water) - what do you do then? Do you run them through the shower before towelling off? I am kind of baffled.

[katelove]

Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom 

I am a bit curious and this is off-topic but the question springs to mind - do all of your kids' baths always consist of - "baths"? Meaning the whole - filling the tub to a level, letting them soak for a while and then taking them out? How long do you let your babies soak? And after they are done in the bath - but are still covered in bubbles (and dirty water) - what do you do then? Do you run them through the shower before towelling off? I am kind of baffled.

Mostly, yes the water fills to a certain level. She plays for as long as she wants to and we soap her and rinse her as she plays. We have a hand-held shower hose attached to the bath spout so we use that to get her wet and rinse the soap off as she plays, then turn it off when the bath is filled to the right level.

We don't need to rinse off any bubbles because the gel we use doesn't create many and we don't use bubble bath. I squirt a bit into my hand or onto a cloth, give her a rub down and that's it. It ends up pretty diluted by the bathwater so I'm not concerned about residue. And the water doesn't get too dirty because she isn't usually that dirty so that's not a problem for us either. I guess once she's bigger and digging in the garden/sandpit etc a lot then we might tend more to showers for that reason.