My 3 yr. old acts like she is terrified of wearing panties and using the potty

[eastkygal]

As with many other things, I let my girls develop in their own time frame, because it is much less of a hassle than "training" or whatever.  I did this with potty learning with DD1.  At 3 years old, we put panties on DD1 and she was using the potty in a week without accidents and no bed wetting.  So, I thought, man that was simple, I'll do the same for DD2.  She is now 3 and when I try to put panties or pull-ups on her she screams like I'm pinching her.  She says she wears diapers, she isn't a big girl, she's a baby.  She also says she doesn't want to use the potty.  Now, I'm torn.  I've already caught flack for waiting.  Apparently my generation was potty trained by 15 - 24 months of age.  Yet, I talked to a lady yesterday who said their urologist told her that a girl should never be potty trained until well after age 3.  Should I push it on DD2, and actually "train" her, or should I wait until she has more of an interest?    

[Katerz2u]

I would put it on hold for a few months and try again. We also used the "wait for it" method with our sons and they both learned around 3 and a half, over night, no hassles. It was a simple thing. Now our youngest (a DD) is 2 and a half and I have no desire to get her on the potty yet. She will sit on the toilet no problems but doesnt "get" what to do yet. Its all about sitting, then grabbing some tp and flushing it to her.

Family was pushing a bit when our middle son approached 3.5yrs too but I just told them he would get it when he's ready, and he did.

I Personally would rather keep changing diapers than soiled sheets, clothes and car seat. I would rather wait an extra year past what most people consider "normal potty age" and save my kids and myself from becoming stressed out from a long potty learning experience.

[Amy M]

Does she mind running around naked?  Both of mine spent a few days mostly naked with me putting them on the potty every hour or so, reading the potty book, singing etc.  We spent a lot of time in the backyard on these days as well    My son picked up very quickly and rarely has had an accident since.   My girl struggles a little more but I would much rather clean an accident (she has to help clean up) than drag around diapers etc.   After the few "naked days" we took a special trip to the store where they got to pick out their new big kid undies and a new outfit. It worked for us but each family is different.   

Does she have a reason why she doesn't want to be a big kid?  My dd told me the other day she was a baby again after weeks of insisting on being  called a big girl.  After talking to her some of the older kids with us told her big girls couldn't have loveys and had to ride in the big scary school bus.  So she decided to be a baby again....

[eastkygal]

Thanks!  I've decided to just take it easy.  Ask her daily about wearing some underpants and if no, then no.  I rented her a video from Netflix called Potty Power which she really likes, and she wore some underpants one day since.  She doesn't like being naked at all.  She is very very modest.  I'm not sure why she wants to still be a baby except for maybe she really likes my holding her alot and seems to be somewhat sensitive and easily angered.???