How to get children to gain weight when they already eat healthy?

[capewell5]

I have three children, DS 1(8), DS 2 (5) & DD 15 months.  With the exception of my DS 1 (He is actually 50% for weight & 75% for height but I still get comments about him too), the other two are barely on the charts as far as percentile goes.  Both are hovering, respectively around the 5% for weight and are roughly 25% for height (DD is closer to 20%).  While our Dr has not shown much concern over this it has been brought up many times from strangers to relatives.  My children have been called walking skeletons (to my face & behind my back along with other things), so I'm not quite sure what to think.  My DD also failed to gain weight at her last check-up, but again the Dr was not concerned.  At this point I'm unsure if i need a new Dr or need to not let the comments get to me, or how do i change their diet to get them to gain weight?  All blood work is good, and all three also take a multi-vitamin daily

My kids eat big time.  All three of them could out eat me in a heartbeat.  We also eat all meals at home, prepared from scratch, I use full fat everything too.  We do not eat a lot of sugar but I make the occasional treat, maybe once a week, & again from scratch.  A lot of the produce is either locally grown or organic, and I do cater to each child's likes & dislikes over veggie & fruit, even if it means I have to make three different 'green veggie' sides.  Our dairy is from a local organic dairy not raw but low-vat pasteurized.  We buy their milk, cheese & butter.  The only prepackaged things I buy is Organic cereal & bread, & PB.

DS 1 is very, very picky about his fruit & veggies but otherwise drinks tons of milk and eats like a horse. 59 LBS

DS 2 is less picky but isn't big on milk, not even chocolate milk.  He acts like he wants it but never drinks it. He is 34LBS

DD Eats everything we eat, unseasoned, and is on full fat cows milk.  She had BM until 6 months & then things just fell apart. She is 22LBS now and has been since 12 months, at 9 months she was 19 LBS.

None of my children have delays, just this ability to eat tons of food and not gain.  All three are very active as far as exercise is concerned.

DH is completely average and I'm almost average, but as far as family history goes I've been overweight most my life & DH was always a beanpole until these past recent years.

My kids seldom have sugar apart from fruit.  No fruit juice, just fruit.  We are not grain free, but do not eat wheat (this is more recent & only for the past month).  We use GF bean flour for baking now.  We don't really follow a specific 'diet' we just eat real food.

A Typical Day:

Breakfast:

Cereal & Milk + eggs scrambled with butter & veggies (DD just eggs & veggies or yogurt)

Milk or Water to drink

Snack

Fruit (Banana, Apple, Pear, etc) and Cheese or yogurt

Lunch

Leftovers or sandwiches

Milk or water to drink

Snack;

Fruit, and cheese or yogurt

Dinner

Meat, fish beans or pasta, and  veggies, quinoa or rice & salad.

Milk or water to drink

Dessert once a week, usually Sunday, whatever i baked.

They eat till they are done, usually no fights over unfinished food.  I don't make them clean their plates, though they usually do on their own.  Seconds are always available too.

I cook heavily with real butter & olive oil, occasionally (2-3 times a month) i deep fry in peanut oil too.

Some days they may get a cookie or other treat as a snack but I'm not huge on giving them sugar.  I know its in the cereal and bread (when not homemade) but I find I am OK with that right now.  Also with everything I read it won't make them loose weight, which is not what we are looking for.  Also every time i send them(DS & DS2) on vacation to Grammy's house, they come back looking more filled out but as soon as they start eating our diet it drops off. They eat a lot of junk food (cookies, pies, sugar, etc) when they are there but the diet remains much the same apart from that.

Are my children just naturally thin or am i missing something in their diet?  I am that horrible for not allowing them to have large amounts of processed sugar?  This is something that has been eating at me for some time now but our Dr just brushes it off and says "We see too many kids on the other end of the percentile, It's refreshing to see tall and thin kids".  I want to believe her but my gut tells me they need to gain a little weight, at the very least DS 2 & DD.  Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.

[Mosaic]

This is a tricky one. In general I'd say listen to your doctor, but if your mama gut says something different, I'd listen to that. It DOES seem like your diet is, well, perfectly normal and healthy! You can still add healthy calories to what they're eating. For example, if you have ham sandwiches at lunch, add a slice of cheese and a smear of mashed avocado (yum)! Maybe for a snack here or there you could do veggies and hummus dip? Maybe try peanut butter on toast for a snack? Swap out some of the milk for smoothies, or maybe add some meal replacement powder to the milk? (Ok, I know nothing about that stuff, so I apologize if that's a really bad suggestion!)

Honestly, I'm having a hard time coming up with suggestions that would augment rather than detract from the awesome job you're doing so far. I certainly wouldn't want to introduce bad habits; but at the same time, I do see that your kids are a bit on the slim side, and I'm swayed by your feelings that they could stand to gain a little bit. Maybe they just take after your DH in the metabolism department?

[capewell5]

Overall I'm concerned, DH isn't as concerned but is concerned that people will jump to the wrong conclusion. 

at the age my kids are now I too a was bean pole, then things happened and i became an emotional eater, which is now under control & I'm finally getting back to a healthy weight again, but I too am slightly above average height (5''7") & always was as a kid/teen until the boys caught up lol.  My Mom is a bean pole too (5'9" &  115lbs on a good day) & my father is average.  Both DH and I have siblings over 6'4" though :)  So the height runs in both are families though the two younger kids aren't above 50% for their heights.
My DS 2 will not drink smoothies, not even milkshakes with ice cream.. come to think of it he won't eat ice cream at all.  The only dairy I can get him to consistently eat is cheese.  We even tried goat milk, kefir (both goat & cow) and Almond milk.  He will act like he wants it, takes a few sips but then it just sits on the table or if i catch it in time I'll keep in the fridge.  I sometimes wonder if maybe he just doesn't like milk.  It doesn't seem to upset his stomach and he doesn't show symptoms of an intolerance to it.  Even as an infant he wasn't overly thrilled about milk but did suffer from AR as a baby.  DS 1 is the complete opposite, DD too.  They love milk, plain, kefir, goats milk, and cheese.  I know nothing of the replacement powders either but I would think they would have tons of sugar.  My MIL had talked about them too & she used to add it to milk or yogurt, not for DH but for kids she used to foster.  If i could find something not loaded with sugar, and then find a way to get him to eat it, it might be a good solution.  The only thing, off the top of my head that he'll eat that it will mix well in is pudding.  Come to think of it it is what he eats at Grammy's house daily when he goes to visit *cringes*.  Now i wonder if there is a way to make a healthy pudding lol.

I think I could slip in avocado if it were mashed, i know they don't like it sliced.  Avocado is one of those things that i should be buying but I don't lol and i don't have a good reason other than I don't like them.  They also eat peanut butter, usually in the form of a sandwich and it's DS 2's favorite lunch, and on occasion breakfast too.  I bet he would just love it if i gave it to him for a snack too lol.  I've tried carrots & PB but he just eats the PB and uses the carrot as a dipping device.  Both boys & DD love hummus too.  I need to learn how to make it on my own because the boy's like it made different ways.  One likes it spicy and the other doesn't, DD doesn't really care.  The only thing DD has ever rejected was mashed potatoes.  She isn't very picky at all so I shouldn't have too much trouble with her as long as she stays this way *I hope*  Thank you so much for the advice, some of it will be quite helpful If I can sneak it past them & they are things I have not thought about.  I've been too busy thinking about what they don't have or not like instead of more of what they do like.. and now if i can only find a healthy pudding :)

Originally Posted by Mosaic 

This is a tricky one. In general I'd say listen to your doctor, but if your mama gut says something different, I'd listen to that. It DOES seem like your diet is, well, perfectly normal and healthy! You can still add healthy calories to what they're eating. For example, if you have ham sandwiches at lunch, add a slice of cheese and a smear of mashed avocado (yum)! Maybe for a snack here or there you could do veggies and hummus dip? Maybe try peanut butter on toast for a snack? Swap out some of the milk for smoothies, or maybe add some meal replacement powder to the milk? (Ok, I know nothing about that stuff, so I apologize if that's a really bad suggestion!)

Honestly, I'm having a hard time coming up with suggestions that would augment rather than detract from the awesome job you're doing so far. I certainly wouldn't want to introduce bad habits; but at the same time, I do see that your kids are a bit on the slim side, and I'm swayed by your feelings that they could stand to gain a little bit. Maybe they just take after your DH in the metabolism department?

[elmh23]

Some kids are just skinny.  Dh and I were bean poles, me until puberty, dh until he was in his mid-20's.  All three of our kids are bean poles and we only worry about one (but he doesn't eat and has obvious GI distress when he does eat.)  Just keep offering healthy, full fat food, aim for lots of protein and fat, and they'll be fine.

There is a way to make avocado pudding, it's a vegan recipe so maybe search that forum.

Also, my almost 15-month-old is also only 22lbs and he's actually a bit chubby :)

[capewell5]

DD has always been on the thin side, even when we were BF'ing.  She wasn't the BF picture baby by any means lol but it didn't change when we moved her to milk, opting not for formula and we got the OK from the Ped.  My SIL just gave birth last month and her DD is already almost as big as mine.  I know i shouldn't compare but I think that has to do with my concern for her.  She eats, and eats, and eats.  You can't go into the kitchen without her on your heels or eat without her climbing up for a taste.  At meal times, I think she doesn't get as much as she used to because she is demanding to eat with a fork now.  While she is learning to master her fork most food just gets pushed off her tray but she is still done when she says 'all done' & that is how she signals she is done.  Suprisingly she is doing fairly well with the fork but she won't eat in her high chair without it to see if she would take more.  She screams until she gets one lol.

DS 2 worries me because all he likes to eat is veggies, some fruit & sweets. He's not big of much of everything else, he'll eat it sometimes but most times he won't eat anything but his veggies.  Last night he tried to get away with just eating salad because he didn't want the gnocchi we had made (it didn't turn out, it was still edible. but he didn't even try a bite).  I made him a PB & J because to me a salad wasn't enough for him and he ate it all but the crust.  Lunch today he was the same way, and dinner too, but he had a few bites of eggs this morning & 1 PB & J sandwich, he refused to eat lunch & the rule here is you don't get a snack if you don't eat your meal.  I would say it's a phase, DS 1 went through something similar, but this has been going on since he was 18 months.  He is a stubborn child at times and we do try to cater to him, within reason and staying sane.  I can't force him but when he skips meals I always feel as if I should of done something more.  We've even tried the Dr Phil approach, continuously offering the meal we know he likes but turned his nose up at at every meal & they should eventually eat it.. Not our boy. 

Originally Posted by elmh23 

Some kids are just skinny.  Dh and I were bean poles, me until puberty, dh until he was in his mid-20's.  All three of our kids are bean poles and we only worry about one (but he doesn't eat and has obvious GI distress when he does eat.)  Just keep offering healthy, full fat food, aim for lots of protein and fat, and they'll be fine.

There is a way to make avocado pudding, it's a vegan recipe so maybe search that forum.

Also, my almost 15-month-old is also only 22lbs and he's actually a bit chubby :)

[mommy212]

If they like meat, make sure you include the skin on the chicken and maybe offer them the less lean cuts, like thighs instead of breasts and oily fish like salmon. I would also suggest (this is from one of my books, I think The New Vegetarian Baby, though i am not vegetarian it is useful too) that maybe they are eating too much fiber, if you use whole grain bread, lots of veggies, lots of fruit, whole grain pasta, etc... Kids can overload on fiber and push the food out before it is really digested. the book suggests using a mixture of 50/50 whole wheat and unbleached white flour for home baked goods, or using a good quality white bread such as sourdough 2 or 3 nights a week. Another thing I like to do is add coconut or nuts to certain foods, which adds flavor, crunch, healthy fats and vitamins and minerals. One of our favorite dishes is baked mashed sweet potato (made with some butter and flaked coconut mixed in) topped with crushed walnuts and more flaked coconut. Green beans amandine, asparagus with pine nuts, peanuts in stir-fries, etc... Also when you eat fruit for snacks you might try pairings like peanut butter and apples, yogurt dipping sauce for berries or strawberries and cream type dishes, maybe pears with cheese on crackers, etc... You can also make really yummy chocolate pudding (we use this as a more regular treat between weekend treats) by combining one avocado and one banana (either mashed together by hand, or in a blender, with some milk) with a tablespoon or so unsweetened cocoa powder and honey, maple syrup, agave, or whatever to taste. 

[MsFortune]

cheese cheese and more cheese

my 2 YO would die of starvation if not for cheese.  I swear he exists on air, a few sips of milk and cheese. 

I'd concentrate on putting as much fat into their diets as you resonably can and maybe relax your anti-sugar stance a bit.  This does not mean you need to fee them Oreos, but maybe some homemade peanut butter cookies.

Mmmm - peanut butter cookies...

[bremen]

diet sounds great! a few things that could add some more calories and healthy fats:

add some seeds or nuts to the morning or afternoon snacks. use nutbutters as a fruit/veggie dip

an evening snack might be a good idea, too. popcorn with coconut oil and nutritional yeast

crackers and dip

oatmeal or ceral with milk or yogurt

otherwise their diets sound great. active, energetic kids are usually pretty healthy. as long as they look and act fine, they probably are.

[philomom]

I use the Barilla Plus pasta for a little more protein and slip some yummy protein powder in milkshakes.

http://www.barillaus.com/Pages/Product-Landing.aspx?brandID=5

[serenbat]

if you do want to add protein and it does seem like you might want to, as others have made great suggestions, here is one more- chia seeds-organic, throw in flax-ground as well! (we add them to whole milk organic yogurt) - http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/nut-and-seed-products/3061/2

[Katwoman]

Can I come live at your house?  You're food sounds soooo good! 

Perhaps add some more protein to snacks?  Seeds, nuts, a bite or two of nut butters, Lara bars.  (If you've never seen Lara Bars, they only have nuts and dates in them.)  We like to cut up apples and dip them into nut butters. 

I'm sorry people's comments are getting to you.  I have two little pixie's of my own.  It's so hard because our society is so focused on weight, too much weight, not enough weight, weight in the wrong places, etc.  Now that the kids are older, I don't want them listening to strangers comments.  (Or family for that matter, my 6 yo came home one day terrified she was "sick" because her grandma said she needed to eat more because is was too thin,  Sigh .....)  I'm getting better at cutting people off.  But it's really hard to listen to it over and over again.  I"m sorry you're going through the same thing.  :(

[LynnS6]

I think everyone has given you great advice.

One thing I'd add though is to look at your family genetics. According to you, you were a 'beanpole' in childhood, and your husband was a beanpole. Your kids are healthy and active. For kids this age, how they act and how they're developing is a much better indicator of whether they're getting a healthy amount of food. It sounds to me like they are.

ETA: For friends and strangers you can say: "My kids are healthy. Their doctor is not concerned. In this day and age of increasing childhood obesity, I'm blessed to have healthy, active kids who eat a balanced diet. " If they persist in commenting, then I take the more snarky route "Why are you so concerned with my kids' weight?" Most people, when directly asked, will wilt.

Edited by LynnS6 - 5/12/11 at 4:31pm

[JudiAU]

Sounds like a good diet that you could make a little more high fat. I'd add avocados, more nut butters, more hummus, nuts as snacks, dried fruit, and some extra sugar in the form of high calorie sweets like ice cream or flavored yogurt. Also, fattier cuts of meat and fish.And consider things like tofu and soy sauce as a snack.

[capewell5]

Thank you everyone for being reassuring.  I think is this day and age we put way to much emphasis on weight in both directions, and both have the health problems, but as everyone has stated my kids are healthy in every way.  They rarely get sick, are all where they should be developmentally, they are very active, etc.  Their blood work has never brought up a concern, it is just these comments I've heard and overheard being said about my children.  I guess i let them get to me and in turn I started worrying.  We have been working hard to try and get more healthy fat into them and have recently come across a great source for pastured pork and I've been rendering fat to use for cooking and adding multiple sources of good fats in each meal, even if i have to hide them :).  I still need to grab an avocado to try the pudding recipe but I bet they won't know if I don't tell them. :)  Thanks again!

[columbusmomma]

My pediatrician suggested a bowl of icecream every night for DS to help him gain weight. I give him one, nice and big I try to buy highfat/cream icecream, the good stuff, hagen daz, etc.

[karne]

My guy is super skinny as well, although he is OK on the growth charts.  He is just one of those kids that looks alarmingly thin, and I believe that his metabolism is high as well.

I think your diet sounds great.  Ours is similar, a little higher on the fats, ie nuts (almonds) always available.  We heavily rely on full fat raw cows milk, and  raw cream as well.   Luckily ds loves avacados, so he has one a day.  We raise chickens, so we have a fair amount of eggs.  I allow ice cream as often as possible-again, local, full fat.  I also have a kiddo who loves Nutella, and even though it seems out of step with the rest of our food, I have no prob. with nutella on wholegrain bread.

[laohaire]

I think you said you guys have been gluten free for a few weeks? If that is the case, you might see some progress after a while. If your kids have celiac or are otherwise sensitive to gluten/grains, I understand it can lead to malabsorption which can lead to stunted growth.

I've also heard of celiacs who, prior to diagnosis, would eat and eat and eat and not gain anything (due to the absorption problem, ostensibly).

I guess dairy could also do the same.

I'm working on a similar problem with DD. (No significant growth progress to report, yet, though - it might take a healing period first).

[alicewyf]

My ped told me that my daughter would likely be 22 lbs at 2 YEARS, and she is fine, more than fine. She is already learning the basics of reading (at 22 mos), for goodness' sakes. If your kids are healthy, and your ped isn't worried, I'd just assume that is their body type. Also, you can just tell my daughter is going to be petite and willowy. Despite only weighing 21.5 right now, she still has those cute little fat wrinkles at her wrists and ankles, chubby cheeks, and a little jiggly bum. She isn't a fatty fat, but she is definitely healthy. If she didn't have those fat deposits I might be more worried, but she is just precious!

Your kids sound fine to me! Also, I would look at it based on your genetics. I'm at the high end of the healthy weight range for my height, but I eat like a horse (more than I should) from breastfeeding hunger. Normally I am at the far low end of my healthy BMI, without trying. My husband is also at the far low end, and obese people in our families are few and far between, and it is totally behavioral in all cases of obesity in our families. I wouldn't really try to mess with your kids' eating habits too much, it could set them up for overeating problems in the future. I deal with that in my own life and it sucks.

[Polliwog]

I think that your kids sound fine. My DD is a peanut and is usually in the 5-10% for height and weight but is now in the 25% for one of them. She's fine. Her doctor isn't concerned, she isn't lethargic, she eats a ton. She's adopted but I've met her birth parents and they are both small.