Struggling Sleepers Tribe - Page 2

[Grivas]

I found this thread and am posting because I feel bad complaining to my best friend (again), and DH is sick of hearing it  I have a 3 year old daughter who is just, finally sleeping all night long in her own bed, and an almost 9 month old son. I thought DD was a tough sleeper, but I had no idea how much worse it could get! DS has the very same waking routine he had since 3 months old. That is, waking every 2 - 3 hours all night long. Lately, though, he can't get back to sleep after nursing, either. He is just big and aware and wakes up the second I put him down. When he slept with us, it was the same - fussing all night, nobody could get comfortable or have enough room. Now he is in his crib, sharing a room with his very sound sleeping big sister. Anyway, I've tried the No Cry Sleep Solution, lots of cereal before bed (I know, I know), a food snack in the middle of the night, changing his dipe, NOT changing his dipe... um... manually rocking his crib or bouncing my hands on his mattress, the yoga ball, patting, shushing, pick up / put down... He falls asleep for a few minutes, then wakes right back up. The wakings at 9, 11, 1, 3, and 5 are bad enough, but when he won't go back to sleep for 45 minutes, well, you don't need to do the math to see how little sleep I'm getting. 

DH (who can sleep through all of this) tells me that it's the same as it was with DD, but just more exhausting because there are 2 kids to care for now. Personally, I think I would remember going for 9 months on 4 hours a sleep a night if it had happened to me before. Once, I drank a cup of Kava tea, not knowing it was a nursing no-no. DS slept for 6 hours! The next day, I felt like I was on some wonderful drug and could do anything. When I learned that the tea was off-limits, I threw it out and wept :)

Thanks for listening to me vent.

[BabySmurf]

I just saw these posts, since the thread was resurrected....i'm just another mamma in the same boat!

DS is 9 months old and just can't sleep.  I know it's possible for him to sleep, since he will throw a night in there where he will only wake up once, but it's been 4 times in his entire (albeit short) life. He has woken up every 2-3 hours every night since he was born....and now it's even worse! He's been waking up between every 20 min to an hour, with maybe a 1.5 hour stretch in the morning (during which he tosses and turns and keeps me awake anyway). 

We have the crib side carred so that DS is within arms reach, or as of late, just stays in my arms. We've been battling food allergies/intolerances, and he's been teething, and learning to walk, and the list goes on....

DS used to go to sleep by 8pm, and for a little while, I would be able to sneak out to the living room and hang out with DH on occasion (this happen(ed) about 2 times per week for about a month), but now DS is so happy to see DH when he gets home from work, that he won't go to sleep to 9 or 9:30.  And DH will usually fall asleep on the couch and some times make it into the bedroom. We barely see each other! I can't wait until this gets easier!!! But from my Mom's stories about me, that won't happen until DS is 2!! Argh!

On another note, I can relate to the baby nursing almost to sleep - his eyes are closed and his breathing gets real even....and then BAM his eyes pop back open, his legs start kicking and he's rolling over with a HUGE grin on his face, starts giggling and crawls like a mad baby away from me and starts to play.  No interest in sleeping...sometimes I think he *thinks* he had a nap.  If I try to get him back to sleep, he screams! I can usually tell though, if he is crying because he is over tired or not tired yet. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy!

[lilikoi]

I am right there with you! My DD is 7 1/2 months and since she turned 4 months she started waking up every hour at night. Sometimes she fusses and doesn't ant to go back down.  I am so tired during the day that it is really hard to work. I also read the NCSS and tried the techniques, but things still the same. DH has a really hard time with the situation and thinks we should be trying harder. In the middle of the night all I want to do is go back to sleep. I can't think about patting her down or trying to cut down on feeding times until she is finally able to put herself to sleep. Sounds like a joke. I hope we get some sleep soon!

[NaturalMama311]

We're going thru a rough time with sleep here too!  DS is 7 months old and is a terrible sleeper unless he is in bed with me and curled up in my arms, but then I don't sleep!  He's a terrible napper too, he takes 2-3 cat naps during the day lasting abotu 30 minutes each (45 minutes if I'm really lucky).  He goes to bed the same time as DD every night, around 7:30 or 8 and sleeps in his crib for a few hours.  Then he comes into bed with us and that's the only way I can get him back to sleep.  Last night he was super tired and fell asleep at 7 only to wake up at 10:30 and would not go back to sleep until 3 am!  Then of course DD is jumping in bed with me at 7 am   I am so, so very tired these days. 

With his short naps and an almost 3 year old that doesn't nap I don't get any rest or time to myself.  I keep trying to remind myself that its just a phase and hopefully within a few months he will be STTN.  I think the worst is that he was such a good sleeper as a newborn.  By 2 months he was sleeping 8-9 hours stretches.  Then we hit the 4 month sleep regression and its been downhill ever since.  I would probably have been better off if he never STTN, those 2 months of sleep heaven were just a tease and now seem like a faint dream.

[matte]

subbing.

[BabySmurf]

Hmm, I think we may have just hit a "wonder week"...I'm not sure how many weeks DS is, but he's just over 9 months old, and all of a sudden, he went from a "godzilla baby" who destroys everything in his path, to trying to pile things up, and putting blocks through holes.  Amazing! Also he is sleeping in 2+ hour blocks after his evening cluster feeds - I feel so good! It's crazy when you think a 2-3 hour stretch of sleep is the best thing since sliced bread.  Oh well, hopefully we continue to improve! Although, I can see at least one more tooth starting to punch through LO's gums.....

[Taos Mountain Mama]

SO GLAD THIS THREAD EXISTS! Although sad to say that all your comments probably mean it's not going to get any better for us soon.....

My daughter will be 7 months next week. In the last few nights, she has begun this INSANE new sleep pattern. We like to call it "not-sleeping-for-more-than-2-hours-at-a-time-and-getting-up-to-play-at 3:30am!"

She was never a GREAT sleeper, but she used to go about 3-4 hours at the beginning of the night before she would wake up to nurse, and then after that she would wake up every 2 hours or so. This was totally do-able for me, because she would just want some boob and go right back to sleep.

BUT - the last few nights have been an entirely different story. She wakes up around 3 or 4 and wants to get up and PLAY! She's in the crib right next to our bed, and I'll wake up to hear her babbling away. Once I nurse her, she just opens up those cute little eyes and is bouncing off the walls! This wakeful period usually lasts anywhere from half an hour to an hour and a half, after which we both PASS OUT again (and then I am forcefully awakened at 6:30 by my alarm clock telling me it's time to go to work).

She's also been napping less frequently during the day, but she's never been a great napper (especially when she's home with Dad during the day - she just needs the boob to get to sleep sometimes).

We started solids about a month ago, so that might be it. And she's REALLY wants to crawl, so that could be part of it....

Someone please tell me this will end sometime in the future!!!!

If ANYONE else (without a babe) tells me they are tired I'm going to punch them in the face!

[lilikoi]

Originally Posted by Taos Mountain Mama 

If ANYONE else (without a babe) tells me they are tired I'm going to punch them in the face!

LOL. The other day a good friend said she was so tired. I asked her if she couldn't sleep the night before and she said "No, I slept 10 straight hours, but I just feel tired". I wanted to punch her, but instead I just said "Wait until you have a baby then we can talk about being tired". She is TTC now so it should be sooner than later. :)

[BabySmurf]

....or if my Husband (who sleeps through everything) complains!! I think he's got the hint now and asks me very cautiously in the morning how both Nick and I slept, lol!

[sacridote]

OMG. YES! If DH complains about being tired I pretty much want to pick up the nearest heaviest thing I can find and throw it at him. ESPECIALLY when he wakes up in the morning and says to the baby "Well you slept good last night, didn't you?" and DS has woken up 5 or 6 times. 

Honestly, at this point, I am just amazed that my hair doesn't stand on end. I haven't slept more than 3 hours at a stretch (and that's a luxury!) in 14 months... well more actually as I barely slept the last 8 weeks of pregnancy.

Keep up the posts. Commiserating really helps. :)

Jeannette

[JulieInChicago]

This is my experience exactly!!!
 

Originally Posted by sacridote 

OMG. YES! If DH complains about being tired I pretty much want to pick up the nearest heaviest thing I can find and throw it at him. ESPECIALLY when he wakes up in the morning and says to the baby "Well you slept good last night, didn't you?" and DS has woken up 5 or 6 times. 

Honestly, at this point, I am just amazed that my hair doesn't stand on end. I haven't slept more than 3 hours at a stretch (and that's a luxury!) in 14 months... well more actually as I barely slept the last 8 weeks of pregnancy.

11 month old son goes down at 7:30pm, and he's up at 11, 1, 3, 5.  We don't cosleep (my 70 lb dog doesn't seem to be able to vacate what would be my son's spot) but at 5am I put him in bed with us just in a sad attempt to get 1 more hour of sleep.  Each wake-up, I nurse him back down.  Sometimes my husband will help and I won't need to nurse but that's rare-- while he complains of getting no sleep he usually sleeps through my son's screaming.

I keep thinking, these moms that have good sleepers, I'm betting many of them CIO'd and just don't admit it.  A friend (really, a "frienemy") has a 1 month old and went to a seminar on baby sleep today and I know exactly what went down with that-- she's going to CIO her 5 week old, disgusting!

I just can't help thinking how much easier moms have it who have sleepers.  I used to be a competitive athlete, and my husband was semi-pro, but with the lack of sleep neither of us have even bothered racing this season.  I see others that bounce back so fast.  It's super hard.

[sunwise]

Originally Posted by JulieInChicago 

I keep thinking, these moms that have good sleepers, I'm betting many of them CIO'd and just don't admit it.  A friend (really, a "frienemy") has a 1 month old and went to a seminar on baby sleep today and I know exactly what went down with that-- she's going to CIO her 5 week old, disgusting!

I think many people will happily admit that they CIO, because they literally believe that *everyone* does it - and they think it's the only way a child will ever learn to STTN. Although it is interesting what some people consider "STTN" - a good friend of mine who has a son who sleeps really well just casually mentioned that she will only go in his room if he's been crying for 20 minutes or so. This is someone who does not believe she lets her kid CIO - and that also means that if he cries and goes back to sleep in less than 20 minutes, she considers that "sleeping through." I always tend to my son when he cries within a few seconds (if I am sleeping right next to him) or a minute (if I am downstairs). I don't know if he would fall back to sleep if I let him cry, but I'm not going to find out.

I am kind of sad that DS, who just turned one, still isn't sleeping better. But I have seen a few encouraging signs recently, like a few nights where he only woke about 4 times total and a couple of times when he slept 4-hour stretches. I'm hoping that these can slowly increase! I've also been able to successfully involve my husband in handling a few nightwakings, and I want to continue doing that. But recently DS has had a double ear infection and was having horrible nights where it felt like he was waking every 20-30 minutes. Last night was the first night approaching normal in a long time (and it still wasn't perfect).

It's funny for me to read everyone complaining about how it feels when anyone else says they are tired - I do the exact same thing! For me, it is most frequently DH who I am annoyed with...he sleeps in a different room from me and DS and for the most part, can sleep uninterrupted through the night. I have no sympathy, but I try to be nice because I do rely on him for a lot of housework and cooking because I try to get to bed early for extra sleep! It's sad that we don't see each other much anymore though.

[JulieInChicago]

Originally Posted by sunwise 

I've also been able to successfully involve my husband in handling a few nightwakings, and I want to continue doing that. 

This weekend I tried that and it really helped-- I am starting to believe that nursing my son down every time he wakes just encourages him to keep waking up.  We had my husband handle all but the midnight and 3am wakings on Friday, and on Sat he only woke up at 12pm, 3am, and 5am!  Getting better, just a little.

[Tear78]

Originally Posted by JulieInChicago 

This weekend I tried that and it really helped-- I am starting to believe that nursing my son down every time he wakes just encourages him to keep waking up.

I've noticed this too, and I've stopped automatically taking our girl (almost 7 weeks) out of the crib automatically every time she fusses. (She sleeps in our room so I always hear her before she wakes up enough to cry.) Instead I'll stroke her head and try to see if she's rooting on my hand. Sometimes the stroking soothes her and she falls back asleep for another chunk. Other times she wakes up again in 5 minutes and is clearly hungry so then I feed her. I actually managed a few 4-5 hour stretches this way (though not LAST night...oy!).

Two nights ago DD and I got maybe 2 hours of sleep total. She was rooting to nurse about once every hour, with often about 10-20 minutes in between. This continued all day the next day too. We're thinking it was a growth spurt since she suddenly outgrew several outfits, but weirdly she hasn't really gained weight the last couple of days. Maybe she used all the calories to grow lengthwise? It was exhausting and after another frequent-waking night last night I finally handed her to hubby this morning and asked for a break. Luckily, dd then slept 3 hours under his care so I got some sleep. Why couldn't I get her to do that? Sometimes I think she just smells the milk on me and then wants to nurse...