Any mamas with long hours and more than 2 kids out there?

[LittleGriff]

I would love to hear from any women who have 3 or more kids, did not take any more than 3 months maternity leave and work at least 40 hours per week (prego and after) about how their parent/work life is going. Are you happy? Is it manageable? Is it getting easier ... harder? Going from 2 to 3 feels like a big leap. (#1 will be 4 next month and #2 just turned 2.)

Edited by LittleGriff - 5/16/11 at 5:20pm

[Carma]

We have 3 kids, I did take about 4-5 months of leave with each of them The oldest is 5, the middle 3 and the youngest 12 months. I am happy, but I am really hoping that it will not get busier than this. I love my job, but since I don't get enough sleep at the moment, it has been a bit tough. However, if it does get busier than this I am seriously considering cutting my work hours (we both work full time now).

Carma

[fnpmama]

Hey there -

I posted a similar question on this board some months ago and got some good responses from mamas who have done it and how they managed. I am in a similar situation as you are. I have 2 boys, ages 3 & 2, work full time out of the home as a health care professional 45-50 hours per week, and am expecting my 3rd in December.  With DS1 I took 12 weeks maternity leave, with DS2 around 6-7 weeks maternity leave.

Recently, however, my family and I have decided to move in order to lower our cost of living, thus allowing for me to switch to part time. Starting in late July I will go to 24 hours per week. We made this decision mostly because I have been unhappy as a full time WOHM, but not because I don't think it can be done with 3 children. 

Some of my challenges have been the cost of full time child care (we live in a very high cost area and do not have family to help).  And generally being unhappy about being at work.  Some of the things that seem silly but have really worn me down in the past 3 years is the whole get them up ready and out to daycare, by 7:30am, constantly supplying disposable diapers, wipes and pull-ups to daycare (they won't do cloth which is our preference).  After 3 years now of spending only  only 2-3 hours a day on weekdyas with the boys, I am ready for something different.  I do know plenty of other mothers who have been happier, than I working full-time.  Alot of times that have a nanny, or are able to have family help with child care, and most times they have work that they love. 

[Evergreen]

I am 39 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I am taking 6 weeks maternity leave and then working one day per week for a few weeks before heading to law school where I anticipate being gone from the home around 10 hours per day. My husband will be a SAHD to our 8 year old (public schooled), 4 year old (whom I am hoping to get into Mandarin immersion preschool 2 mornings per week), and baby who should be between 2-3 months old then. I don't know how I am going to do it especially since I do plan to breastfeed/pump for atleast 6 mos exclusively before introducing any formula.

[Carma]

Some of the things that seem silly but have really worn me down in the past 3 years is the whole get them up ready and out to daycare, by 7:30am, constantly supplying disposable diapers, wipes and pull-ups to daycare (they won't do cloth which is our preference).

I also hate that part. It feels like a marathon. Also after school and work, cooking diner, homework for the oldest, getting them all in bed and then some cleaning and getting ready for next day. Rinse and repeat. We also don't have family nearby (originally from Europe), that also makes a difference. We never had a babysitter, because they are in daycare 5 days a week and it would be another 'strange' person taking care of them.

II don't know how I am going to do it especially since I do plan to breastfeed/pump for at least 6 mos exclusively before introducing any formula.

For me it was a great help to build a stash during leave (my leave was a bit longer though), but even with just 6 weeks it can help. Making it less stressful on days I could not pump enough, because I still had the frozen breastmilk. We only started other milk at ~12 month that way. If you have a private office, I recommend a handsfree pumping set, that way you can still continue with email, conference calls, etc. while pumping to save time. I nursed right before we left for work (gives you also a few quiet moments before heading out), while DH packed up the stuff and the older kids (we carpool), so she could drink less at daycare. Another tip, that maybe you don't want to follow, but worked in my case: I reused leftover breastmilk. I always put a cooling element in the bottle bag and poored lefovers in a clean bottle when we came home. It has never gone bad and she drank it happily the next day. I always boiled all the pumpparts and bottleparts, which keeps milk fresh longer also. She is almost 13 months now, and I am slowly reducing my pumping sessions. I did the same with the older 2, and never had problems nursing them full time in the weekend and at night after stopping pumping at work after 12 months. Your body is very flexible.

Carma

[JudiAU]

I am considering TTC #3 now. My kids are just turned 4 and almost 2 so this one will have a bigger gap. Just haven't been able to deal before. I will take a full six months leave again (mostly unpaid) and have a big freezer stash of bm when I go back. I usually can keep up but it makes pumping far less stressful.

If you have a private office (much better than pumping room) than a hands free pumping bra + personal refrigerator are awesome.

[alleybair]

hello i am a WAHM i have three children and the ages 2 girls 7 and 8 years old which you think would be less stressfull but actually more complicated hormones are running through their veins. and then i have a 1yr old son happy as can be now. 

my two girls where the hardest but i got to be SAHM with my oldest and then went to work when by 2nd was 3 months old and then when she turned 1 i became a live in nanny for a friend that moved in with us taking care of her newborn keeps you on your toes and felt like she was my 3rd kid i took care of her around the clock along with my 2 little girls. rough times they need lots of love and attention and i gave me whole life to them no spare time at all little time to even take care of myself being that my husband worked over the road and would only be at home twice a month if that. a good 3 years of this and then 3 years of just me and my girls by myself and babysitting on the side for friends. its hard and challenging but got through it. we always wanted a little boy but didnt think we would get one so we considered ourselves done with more kiddos. i was absoutley happy with me and my girls cheerful sister drama but best friends . then i got pregnant and lost the baby at early stage and then we decided to try again and ended up with our little man. so excited now the girls are 7 and 8 and they were excited but my oldest not sure. she does not get along with change very well and the jealous bugs get to her a little too much. but she is used to him and loves him to pieces now. this is the first real job i have had since my 2nd little girl was born and its at home it was great starting and now not so much. its a transaction processing job for medical claims that i do at home and it was great doing when they stayed steady with work to do and older kids but now that i have a third i get so strung out on not being able to stop typing and play with the baby. or if i do i am on a computer all day and night. they pay abc pay meaning not hourly and if they have work to do it goes by fast if they dont your stuck working all day as the work comes in slowly. it takes so much time away from my kids it drives my up the wall. i want to quit but need the income to help and can not afford daycare nor want to put him in daycare. on top of that i am the main squeeze that takes care of my children i have to mold to thier lifestyles due to no help and husband having a non flexible good paying job. so i have no choice but to do everything in the house and take care of three children totally different change and adjusting slowly. all i know is mothers are so strong because i wake up every morning trying my hardest to keep it up and now facing challenging behaviors in my older girls thinking they are teens when they are not. its definately a task and a tricky one at that but i give every minute to them and very well worth it just hoping on a different line of work to better fit my lifestyle in the process of trying to open a daycare in our home so i can still give to our family funds in this economy living is essential to having some sort of a job. i am trying to make this job work as long as it will but with them being so unsteady on hours and work it makes it tough. my son comes first and my girls so i end up taking so many breaks to make sure they have what they need meaning i can very well start at 6 am and end at 9 pm and there is my day trying to work, cook, clean, and take care of my kiddos at the same time. hard work making ends meet until other arrangements are made. all in all having three is awesome and its only better down the line when you work harder in the beginning.

[Lynne Holloman]

I am pregnant with baby girl #4! I work full time, I'm 22 weeks. My girls are transitioning to a nanny this summer. I did have housekeeping help but now i am saving for moving into a bigger house so no more help.