difficulties getting to sleep, suggestions very welcome

[IsaFrench]

many issues/reasons are probably involved but I feel a bit like "a sleep anorexic", I am tired, I know that I need the sleep and yet I just cannot bring myself to go to bed, to let go and to sleep at a "decent" hour  ....my current pattern is to veg out until about 2:00 am ... ideally I would like not to "loose" that many hours of sleep ....

any suggestion is welcome, I need to find a way that will work for me & feel stuck right now ...

[Katwoman]

Is part of the problem that you don't get any alone time until that late?  I find I need to decompress a bit before bed.  But then I have to be careful because "a bit" can easily turn into a lot.  (Which of course means not a lot of sleep.  sigh ....)  Are you just not getting enough "recharge" time during the day, so you have to have it at night?

Otherwise, have you ever tried melatonin?  It works for me when I'm not cycling.  Otherwise, the things "they" suggest is not doing anything in bed except for sleeping.  (I'm assuming they mean sex too, because I'm not giving that up - sleep or no sleep!  ;) )  No reading/tv before bed.  Soft lighting, not heavily stimulating work/hobbies right before bed. 

I hate not sleeping.  Almost as much as I hate the need for sleep.

[HeliMom]

I have a hard time quieting my mind when i lay down, no matter how tired I am.  Since doing hypnosis for childbirth I can pass out in 5 minutes after I start listening to a relaxation script. So I'd like to suggest  buying a get to sleep  guided meditation.  You might have to look around for  the right voice that seems soothing to you but it really helped me.

[journeymom]

OP, can you describe why you can't bring yourself to go to bed until so late? 

[IsaFrench]

Thanks for your answers ...

yes, i like/need some free time when the children are in bed & asleep ... to do my own things in peace and quiet

and totally, yes, " a bit" will turn into " a lot"

also, DH doesn't want to talk about issues which I think we have (he's of the mindset that "tormorrow is another day", "let's start fresh again" ... whereas I see us being stuck into the same repetitive negative ways and would like to understand why it's - to my mind- forever happening and also it seems unpredictable so I never know what to expect & am wondering if part of me is not in a forever over-alterness state .... from which I switch off only when excessively tired and litterally droping with my eyes half closing .... ) I'm not dealing very well with his refusal to address the issue ....

+ when he comes home from work, he doesn't want to talk about his stress but I can feel his state and it sort of passes on to me ...

Last night I managed to ge to be reasonnably early ( 10:00 pm) but that was because he had gone to the cinema after work ....

about self hypnosis, ... yes I did some class on "sophrologie" last year at a community center, I know that I can very well get VERY relaxed even when sitting down in a chair in a class with unknown people on a Thursday morning, And I have recovered the ability to use what I re-learned in that class .... I can get to sleep in 5 minutes (for exemple during the day, I sometimes have short naps, even if I only have 20 minutes at my disposal, I can sleep and wake up  better) my problem seems to be that somewhere in the back of my mind, in the evening, I sort of don't give myself permission do "let go", to "switch off for the night"

...

maybe I have too many hobbies, want to do to many things (difficulty finding balance between housework & hobbies, I'm a housewife ...) so that when I'm not sure about balance, I just get into dozing mode in front of the TV ???

also I have a clutter problem (am working on the clothes bit, for kids and myself, still a lot to do about books and papers of all sorts ..... souvenirs etc ....) and I feel I can tackle it "only" when I feel rested and "right in my mind" (in case I discart something when not careful and regret it later ?????) so maybe sleep deprivation is a avoidance strategy ????

thanks for the chance to put it all in writing ... I feel so "locked in"  in my problem that having the chance to get some perspective from other MDC members is hopefully going to help me feel less stuck in my way ...

[LCBMAX]

I have a very similar problem - I'm so desperate for alone time, when no one else will make any demand on me, that I stay up much too late. I've just resolved to stop entertaining myself by listening to books on tape because there's something about audio that keeps me up more. I'll read real actual books instead, the heavier the better, since that's easier to let slip when I doze off, and harder to pick up again when I wake to turn off the light... but here I am when I should already be in bed, so I'm not off to the best start.

Will watch here.

[journeymom]

Heh, that's interesting.  Reading to sleep worked reliably for me until a few years ago. Then I'd find myself awake a few minutes after falling asleep, and the anxiety would just build and build and I I'd be up the next two hours. It was miserable. 

So I developed this method that works for me, pod casts and Solitaire on my iTouch.  I tried Angry Birds a couple times but it's too engaging and kept me awake. So it was back to repetitive, simple Solitaire.  I plug my ears in, listen to a pod cast and play Solitaire.

Pod casts I like very much that don't keep me awake:

NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and Car Talk.

Freakenomics

Stuff You Missed in History Class  and Stuff Your Mom Never Told You and Stuff You Should Know

BBC's The History of the World in 100 Objects.

I'm pretty dependent on this routine but it's simple and it works.  I haven't had a difficult time getting to sleep in more than a year.

[zebra15]

IDK but I have problems 'turning off my brain'.  I can go to bed but my brain just keeps going and going.  I do take meds that are supposed to help but they've stopped working some time ago.  I've tried relaxation techniques etc but nothing works...

Following along for tips.