ANNOYING!

[jenniferadurham]

Me: I want to take a coma nap

Friend A: you need to pump and let someone else feed baby all day so you can sleep

Me: I don't use bottles and don't want someone else taking care of my kids all day. I was sorta joking by saying 'coma nap'....

Acquaintance: wow, bottles work wonders! Good luck!

Me: boobies are best! Don't need luck, I'm using what the good Lord gave me!

oye vey! These people!

[woodchick]

I'm right with you!  I've learned (sadly) not to mention being tired because I never get any sympathy or empathy. Just rude suggestions about what I'm doing wrong as a parent.  grr.

Luckily, my DH is on my side (probably because he's just as sleep deprived as I am and can't argue anything else!)

[Chamomile Girl]

I hear ya on the not mentioning being tired thing.  When I said something like this the other day the person looked at me strange and said "why?".  Um, because I have a 22mo old?  She looked so confused...

[jenniferadurham]

This was all on facebook...


Her response was: I was talking about good luck on the sleep. Calm down! And boobies are best dear..."

The comments that come out of her mouth like this is why she's not a friend.

I'm finally able to EBF great this pg. I have only BF while supplementing for only a month and finally giving up and giving formula with the other two. So I guess I'm a little touchy when someone tells me to just give him a bottle when I'm tired. I worked too hard for this to just give up so I can take a nap. I have th rest of my life to sleep...and only a short time frame to personally nourish my child.

So does anyone else get excited and anxious(like a heart beating fast/breath taking/eeeeeeeek!) feeling when you start a feeding? Hehe. I get like this every time...I guess bc I'm just absolutely LOVING BF!

[HappyMommy2]

Sounds like she was making a peace offering ... and bottles can hold breastmilk too, not just formula.  And, I hear ya on being so tired! SO so tired.  It never ends!

Maybe hubby can let you take an evening nap...

[D_McG]

Honestly I think you owe her an apology. Suggesting you pump and sleep is a perfectly kind and normal thing to suggest.

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by jenniferadurham 

So does anyone else get excited and anxious(like a heart beating fast/breath taking/eeeeeeeek!) feeling when you start a feeding? Hehe. I get like this every time...I guess bc I'm just absolutely LOVING BF!

Congratulations, Mama!

[woodchick]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

Honestly I think you owe her an apology. Suggesting you pump and sleep is a perfectly kind and normal thing to suggest.

Maybe if she had said something like "have you thought about pumping a little so you could sleep through one feeding?"  the OP wouldn't have taken it so personally.  I know that I bristle when anyone tells me that I "need" to do something. Especially when I haven't asked for the advice.

[MamaofLiam]

Originally Posted by jenniferadurham 

So does anyone else get excited and anxious(like a heart beating fast/breath taking/eeeeeeeek!) feeling when you start a feeding? Hehe. I get like this every time...I guess bc I'm just absolutely LOVING BF!

Yes, congratulations on that! 

[jenniferadurham]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

Honestly I think you owe her an apology. Suggesting you pump and sleep is a perfectly kind and normal thing to suggest.

I did get a little defensive in my head when I read what she said. Only bc I know how she is, and she is a snarky person to everyone I know. She's only my friend on FB bc she's my neighbor lol. Her and another person are not very 'natural' when it comes to parenting. And they try and push it off on me to not be so natural bc it's 'weird'. Like they didn't want to bc it was going to hurt, and they didn't want saggy boobs. Which is fine...each their own...but don't shove that off on someone else.

Oh, and an apology on my part wont be happening...at least not to her


Thanks for the support ladies! BF is FUN!

[carepear]

Why do people do this?  Just mentioning you are tired, stressed, whatever is not a cry for help or a plea to have someone criticize your parenting techniques!

Originally Posted by woodchick 

I'm right with you!  I've learned (sadly) not to mention being tired because I never get any sympathy or empathy. Just rude suggestions about what I'm doing wrong as a parent.  grr.

[MamaofLiam]

Originally Posted by carepear 

Why do people do this?  Just mentioning you are tired, stressed, whatever is not a cry for help or a plea to have someone criticize your parenting techniques!

I know, right! My DH has said to me a couple of times (not so long ago) when I complain about being tired or that DS was on me all night that we should "just formula feed the next one b/c that will solve the problem". I really got on him after he said that to me. He has a tendency to like to "solve" the problem, which in this case just was really unsupportive IMO.

[AislinCarys]

Originally Posted by MamaofLiam 

I know, right! My DH has said to me a couple of times (not so long ago) when I complain about being tired or that DS was on me all night that we should "just formula feed the next one b/c that will solve the problem". I really got on him after he said that to me. He has a tendency to like to "solve" the problem, which in this case just was really unsupportive IMO.

Solve the problem? Well, I have very good friend, who was still getting up every two hours to make a bottle of formula for her 18-month old! Ironically she weaned early because her well baby nurse told her it would solve her baby's sleep problem...

[2FarmBoysMomma]

I agree I hate the comments oh just sleep when baby sleeps easier said then done! Especially if you have more then one! I'm running on fumes today because DS2 was up from 3:30 this morning until just about 7 and he finally fell back asleep, I laid down closed my eyes and........."HI MOMMY" from DS1  I wouldn't have it any other way! I could not breastfeed DS1 so I am very excited breastfeeding is working this time but I'll admit I have pumped and DH feed him so I could catch some zz's once after an all nighter

[jenniferadurham]

So that's another question I have....do y'all pump? I am only nursing him, and no bottles. I sorta feel like I would be 'cheating' if I do so. Plus I guess I don't want to give anymore reason for MIL to be able to hoard him.

[Heba]

The vast majority of women around the world do not pump or express milk for someone else to feed their child.  Pumping is an intervention, and feeding a baby mum's own expressed breastmilk is second-best to breastfeeding, according to the WHO.

That said, I did express - benefit/risk and all that - I worked outside the home for a lot of the time my children were breastfeeding, and on occasion I did leave ebm and go out for reasons other than work when I couldn't take my children with me.  So obviously I am not saying you or any other mum shouldn't express!  My point is that it shouldn't be a given that all nursing mums express.

I don't think it would be 'cheating' if you did so, though - but I really don't think other people should expect you to do it.

[Sunflower223]

I totally understand where you are coming from.  I get so tired of being criticized for saying I'm tired.  My mom is the worst.  And my DH has mentioned giving the baby a bottle a few times. 

I don't pump because I can't afford a pump that works.  My baby is four months old and has never had a bottle but I really didn't plan it to be that way. I assumed I would pump sometimes, I've just not had the money to get a decent pump. I bought a manual pump from WM that expresses about half an ounce every forty minutes.  Who has time for that?  I bought a double electric with my last baby that worked three times before breaking on me, and also produced very little results.

I'm not going to lie, it is hard sometimes.  I haven't been able to attend births since she was born and I work several hours a day from home writing, so sometimes it is a little grueling to not ever get a break.  I also have three older children.

But with that being said, if someone handed me a pump today I don't know if I would use it.  I am a little afraid that she would prefer the bottle to me. 

[jenniferadurham]

Thanks for the replies!

I guess I wanted to hear that I wouldn't be failing if I did so. I just don't think I would feel comfortable if I did so. Sounds like I'm trying to justify it to myself.lol I really enjoy breast feeding.

My poor naive friend, pg for the first time..no baby experience, said to me yesterday after telling her I have an OALD "well you could always start formula feeding if you have too much breast milk"