Is it safe to leave a 10 year old and a 7 year old for 1.5 hours while they are asleep? - Page 2

[hillymum]

I wouldn't leave my children alone at night until my youngest is at least 10. I will happily leave my 11 or 10 year olds at home alone or together for up to 2 hours, but they call me almost every 20 minutes and know not to answer the door, go to friends, have friends over etc. I have left my 11 yr old (12 in July) with my 6 yr old (7 in August) alone while I drove to the store (40 minutes total) once, and that was last week as a trial to see how well my youngest respected his big brother. I see it as all of them learning responsibility. At 8 I was riding my bike 5 miles to the shops on my own and I was out all day in the summer with my mom not knowing where I was. Maybe I have a different perspective on it.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but I agree with the pp who said it's not an issue to call CPS over, unless there are other problems that make it worse than what you outlined here.  One thing that would mitigate in your neighbor's favor is if she is aware of your presence and knows her kids could come to you if necessary.  Of course you go out now and then, but if you are usually there and she and the kids know it, that makes a difference, IMO.  My kids have our friendly neighbor's phone number on the fridge in case they need it any time.  (While home alone for short periods, or if something happened to me.) 

As for the night thing, I think people are assuming that she didn't leave a note or anything.  We don't know that. If she left a note, then took it down when she got home, they would still "never know she was gone." 

Again, neither of these things are things I would do, but if I were in less ideal circumstances, who knows?  An unexpected snow day, and I have to be at work or risk loosing my job?  Yeah, I might do it and pray for the best.  That wouldn't make me a bad mom, it only highlights how disconnected we've become from family and community.  :o/

[velochic]

I agree with the poster that talked about fires and children not rousing for a fire alarm.  This happened just a couple of weeks ago with my own 9yo.  I was up early to get some things cooked for a dinner party we were having that weekend.  Our smoke alarm is right across the room from my oven and if I'm baking at a high temp, when I open the oven door, it makes the alarm go off (even if there isn't smoke).  I was right in the middle of dealing with my dish and couldn't get it off for a couple of minutes when it started wailing.  My dd never even stirred.

There is nothing that is worth compromising your child's safety.  I'd not leave kids that young alone during the day, let alone at night.  I do think it's neglect.  Just because a state doesn't have a law, it doesn't mean it's not still illegal.  It's just subjective, then.  A 3 year old home alone.  Of course that's neglect.  An 8 year old?  It becomes a gray area, but it still could be considered neglect.  If there was any question in my mind, I'd call.

[mattemma04]

There were 2 or 3 times I let the kids stay home while I shopped. I really did not feel comfortable about doing it.Accidents happen on the road.Any number of strangers could go to the home while I am gone.Never again.

Some moms have little choice but to leave the kids alone while they work.Hopefully there are good neighbors who can keep an eye on things. If it were me I would want to hook up with another mom to swap childcare duties.

[new2this]

I do agree on the neighbor aspect of it. I think location plays a huge role. When my mom did it and we lived in town my grandparents lived a block away at one point and just across town maybe 5-6 blocks after that. We also had a great relationship with neighbors. My aunt also lived behind us at one point too. So while we were left alone we also had many outlets and people "watching" us. The same was when I was 16 and my mom left to go in the truck with my dad while we didn't have anyone staying with us there were plenty of people around to check in on us. 

I get that accident can happen but there is a point I think at least for us that its okay to back off some and teach responsibility. Because there could be an accident that you need to get to and having the piece of mind of knowing your kids can handle themselves till someone can get there or at least able to check in on them. 

[treeoflife3]

It is always so interesting reading threads like this and seeing the varying opinions.  Since I was babysitting my 5.5ish year old brother full time in the summer including overtime when I was 11, it seems such an odd concept to me that others would find that thought ridiculous.  We never had any problems and it seems funny to even think that 10 could be way too young to be alone for a few hours with a 7 year old.  I'm sure for some kids it is, some just aren't ready, but its interesting that for some people, it is too young across the board haha.

[MamaofLiam]

Originally Posted by treeoflife3 

It is always so interesting reading threads like this and seeing the varying opinions.  Since I was babysitting my 5.5ish year old brother full time in the summer including overtime when I was 11, it seems such an odd concept to me that others would find that thought ridiculous.  We never had any problems and it seems funny to even think that 10 could be way too young to be alone for a few hours with a 7 year old.  I'm sure for some kids it is, some just aren't ready, but its interesting that for some people, it is too young across the board haha.

 I had a similar experience growing up. I am 6.5 years older than my brother and I used to babysit him a lot. Especially starting around the age of 10. Not for super long or anything, but when my mom went to the grocery store or something like that. I didn't think of it as a big deal and neither did anyone else we knew. I had quite a few friends who grew up babysitting their younger siblings as well. 

I completely agree and find threads like these very interesting reads. 

[its_betty]

Not when they are sleeping. As others have noted, kids often sleep through smoke detectors and fire alarms. My son is 12 and up until this year, he was not allowed to use an alarm clock because it would not wake him up. Everyone else in the house, yes (and probably the folks in the apartment downstairs), but he would be sleeping soundly through it.

[CarrieMF]

1 1/2 hours while sleeping, I have done it BUT they've known I was gone too. I wouldn't leave the house without telling my kids I was leaving.

9 hours, no.  I do leave my 12, 10 & 9yo by themselves while I'm at work.  Now that I'm in the same school division it rarely happens.  The teachers have gone on a day strike & will be again for 2 days this week coming up but I'm support staff so I still have to go to work even though there are no kids & nothing to do(we did it all a few weeks ago when they went for 1 day,lol).  I'm gone for 7 hours & check in with them once.  Dh also comes home for lunch during that time.

[Aliyahsmommy]

No way! The thing I think about is what if someone broke in, could my child defend themselves at all and would they be able to handle a traumatic experience like that. During the day I might leave my 12+ year old for a couple hours(2-3 at most), but at night my child would have to be much older like 15 years old. I also would never leave a younger sibling alone day or night with anyone under the age of 16 or 17 depending on the older child's personality and level of responsibility. I need to feel comfortable that in an emergency the first person that would be thought of would be the younger child. In a fire would my older child immediately run from the home without their sibling or in a break-in would the older child help the younger one hide etc. I just do not like to think 'that would never happen to me" because it very well could no matter how small the chance.

[choli]

Originally Posted by MamaofLiam 

 I had a similar experience growing up. I am 6.5 years older than my brother and I used to babysit him a lot. Especially starting around the age of 10. Not for super long or anything, but when my mom went to the grocery store or something like that. I didn't think of it as a big deal and neither did anyone else we knew. I had quite a few friends who grew up babysitting their younger siblings as well. 

I completely agree and find threads like these very interesting reads. 

I spent my teenage years in a place and time where large families were the norm. My best friend at the age of 13 was often left in charge of 8 younger siblings for hours on end, and was perfectly capable of doing it, though a lot of the time I was with her helping just because we were friends.