Hi Ladies,
Thank you for all the great responses to the "Advice for 1st time moms," someone suggested a thread with advice for Breastfeeding...so bring it on!
- Tips, tricks you would like to share
- Books, Resources that were helpful
- Things you wish you knew beforehand
- Tools: What is really needed to breastfeed
- Any other bits you think would be helpful!
Can't wait!
*Soothies Gel nursing pads work way better than nipple creams (imo). I love them and wouldn't be without several boxes in the first few weeks of nursing.
*If you child is tongue-tied, GET IT FIXED NOW! It will spare you a lot of pain and trouble in the early weeks. Even if your pediatrician doesn't want to do it, demand it or find a new dr. Every child I know that didn't have their tongues fixed as a young infant had to have it done later in life (when it's a major surgery). I have a lot of experience with this because EVERYONE in my family has been tongue-tied.
*Always remember nursing pads and a spare shirt when leaving the house. It's really embarrassing to leak through a shirt in public. ;)
*Nurse on demand. Many babies nurse every 10 minutes. That's both okay and NORMAL!
*Trust in your body. The odds are that you're one for the 96%+ of women that can breastfeed just fine.
*Nipple and breast pain is normal in the first few weeks. It will pass quickly.
*Babies go through many growth spurts in the first few weeks/months. It will seem like you're running out of milk. Your baby is nursing more to increase your milk supply. Nurse on demand and your body will meet your baby's needs. It's a perfect system. Trust your body.
I work as a volunteer bfing supporter with new mums, and the number one tip that I tell them is: it shouldn't be painful. If you ever find yourself dreading the next feed, it's time to seek some help. You don't need to suffer in silence. Usually you just need someone to help you tweak your positioning to help your baby latch on more effectively.
I know Abraisme said that some pain is normal, but I'm not sure I agree. At first, hormonal changes mean your nipples might feel quite tender. The first few sucks of a feed can feel very strong, and can be uncomfortable. But if you experience pain (as opposed to discomfort) then do not suffer in silence.
I'm going to throw my 2cents in there as one of those rare women who actually couldn't BF but had NO IDEA it was going to turn out that way.
All seemed well (happy baby, latched well) for the first week until it was obvious she was not dirtying her diapers nearly enough. Fastforward through 3 months of baby losing weight, prescriptions, herbs, lactation consultants, midwife visits, bedrest, pumping and pumping and pumping, supplementing by tube at the breast, and many many tears.....and it became obvious that I had almost no milk and no matter how aggressively we tried, no more was coming. The consensus was insufficient duct development.
So, what I want to put out there is:
1) If you suspect a supply problem, the sooner you get help the better.
2) LLL is an amazing resource. They were so.much.help.
3) Having an MD who is pro- BF and up to date in the latest info is invaluable.
*If you child is tongue-tied, GET IT FIXED NOW! It will spare you a lot of pain and trouble in the early weeks. Even if your pediatrician doesn't want to do it, demand it or find a new dr. Every child I know that didn't have their tongues fixed as a young infant had to have it done later in life (when it's a major surgery). I have a lot of experience with this because EVERYONE in my family has been tongue-tied.
This is not necessarily true. My husband is tongue tied and never had it fixed. He nursed until he was three and never gave his mother any trouble. His dad is tongue tied too. I have several friends with tongue tied babies and if you have prepared for it and know how to adjust nursing positions and force the baby to latch properly, it causes little to no problems.It is easiest to get fixed as newborns, in fact real easy and doesn't hurt or bleed either. We looked into it heavily since it is a hereditary thing but neither of mine were born with it. I would definitely get it fixed but just for my own peace of mind. my midwife said she would do it, no problem. She just never has had to. It can cause problems in foreign language speakers so almost all bi-lingual speaking people have it done. Just wanted to say that it's not always an issue even though for some, it can be!
Sorry, all a lot of this may be repeat from the other thread...
*Breastfeeding has always been outright painful for me in the beginning. It did pass and was mainly occurring when baby latched on and would subside throughout the feeding. I know it was discussed at length before, but I believe it is a major disservice to women to tell them that it will not hurt b/c then they think something is majorly wrong and may feel hopeless and give up without seeking help.
*Which brings me to: seek help as soon as you encounter a problem- don't wait! Have phone numbers handy for LLL leaders, lactation consultants, and breast feeding hotlines (see LLL's website). Don't fall victim to bad advice- if it doesn't feel right get another opinion.
*Stand strong and trust in your body. Studies show that only about 3% of women truly cannot breastfeed (most often due to anatomical issues). Babies are born with reserves and do not need to eat much for days. Small amounts of colostrum will suffice. Milk usually comes in after a few days, but can take up to a week. Colostrum will suffice. You can drink some herbal teas to help with the process like Mother's Milk Tea and More Milk Two and supplement with some other things like fenugreek, but be careful of the opposite issue: engorgement!
*Read books ahead of time to get a good idea of what to expect, common problems (tongue tie, inverted/flat nipples, nursing strikes, improper latch, engorgement, etc.), how the breast works, what medications are safe to take while breastfeeding, FAQ's, etc. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers are both great. www.kellymom.com is an awesome online resource.
*A lot of women will have stories for you, telling you that they "couldn't breastfeed" or "had to wean" for one reason or another, "my 6 month old just stopped nursing" or "my supply dried up." These situations are usually a result of a lack of support and/or information. Don't be scared by this type of story, instead surround yourself with success stories. Hang out with other breastfeeding mothers to watch and ask questions. Go to a few LLL meetings while still pregnant.
*Have helpful supplies on hand: nipple cream/butter, soothies, breast pads, nursing bras, breastfeeding pillow, good electric pump. I recommend having a pump on hand just in case. They help with supply issues, emergencies, clogged ducts, engorgement, etc.
*Educate your partner as well so that if you have some issues s/he know what to do to support you. All to often partners watch mom struggling, crying, etc. and assume formula is the best answer for the moment. But even small amounts of unnecessary supplementation can really upset the delicate supply and demand cycle when it is being established. Make sure your partner know how to get help for you.
*Nurse on demand day and night. It doesn't matter if it's every 30 minutes or every 3 hours, follow baby's cues. Your body is designed to produce based on demand. The more baby sucks, the more milk you produce. Sudden increases in nursing are likely growth spurts and happen often every 3 weeks or so. Night nursing is especially crucial in the first 6-7 weeks when prolactin receptors are being built and your supply is being established. Bottle feeding at night- even for one feeding- during this time could cause a lot of stressful supply issues.
*Don't be discouraged if your newborn is nursing for 30-40 minutes at a time. It won't be this way forever. Babies get better and better at nursing so they will start to nurse for shorter periods.
*Some women leak a lot. Some women don't leak at all. Some women leak for the first few months only. Some leak their entire breastfeeding career. But usually the amount you leak will decrease over time. Pressing firmly, straight into the chest with your hand or fingers helps to stop the letdown and the leaking.
*In the beginning, the letdown can feel like getting an injection. For me this dissipated over time. Nursing can also cause contractions called "after pains" and these will lessen with time as well. I was also shocked the first time the milk came shooting out like little geysers when my baby unlatched. Nothing is wrong, just press firmly and it will stop.
*Nursing within the first hour of life really helps to establish the breastfeeding relationship (and expel a stubborn placenta). Advocate for your right to put your baby to the breast right away. If the baby needs a little encouragement, hand express a bit of colostrum by putting your index and middle fingers on either side of the nipple, pushing straight into the chest, squeezing the nipple slightly, and pulling the nipple straight out. You should see colostrum come out. Tickle baby's lips with your nipple.
*Nursing in public might feel awkward at first, but the more often you do it and surround yourself with other women that do it, the easier it gets. Just whip it out, it's your right. Read up on your state's laws so that you can inform anyone that might ask you to nurse somewhere else. Eventually you might find yourself a bit of a lactivist, proudly breastfeeding wherever, whenever, doing your part to educate the masses.
*There are other helpful uses for breastmilk besides feeding your baby like: rubbing on cuts and scrapes to disinfect them and help it heal quicker, dropping some in an infected ear, dropping some in an infection or clogged eye duct, squirting some up a congested nose, etc.
I think I'll wrap this novel up now and add more later if I come up with more... 
Just from my experience, it is better to do it as an infant. My mother and 2 of my siblings didn't have it done at birth.. My mom had to have it done at 13, my brother at 7 and my sister at 4. It was either causing a speech issue or a language issue in all of them. So, not only can it effect breastfeeding (it did in my case and made the early days of breastfeeding very hard), but it can effect teeth and speech later.
My mother, myself, all 4 of my siblings, my nephew and both of my children were tongue-tied. We're very familiar with it in my family and all of us now have our tongues clipped.
This is not necessarily true. My husband is tongue tied and never had it fixed. He nursed until he was three and never gave his mother any trouble. His dad is tongue tied too. I have several friends with tongue tied babies and if you have prepared for it and know how to adjust nursing positions and force the baby to latch properly, it causes little to no problems.It is easiest to get fixed as newborns, in fact real easy and doesn't hurt or bleed either. We looked into it heavily since it is a hereditary thing but neither of mine were born with it. I would definitely get it fixed but just for my own peace of mind. my midwife said she would do it, no problem. She just never has had to. It can cause problems in foreign language speakers so almost all bi-lingual speaking people have it done. Just wanted to say that it's not always an issue even though for some, it can be!
You're right, extreme pain is not normal. When I was nursing #1, it was the most painful experience of my life (worse than natural labor). He was tongue-tied and had essentially ripped off all the skin on my nipples. I'm glad that I sought help and pushed a dr. to clip his tongue. I should have done it sooner, as it took over 6 weeks for the pain to subside.
That being said, EVERYONE I know has had some level of discomfort while breastfeeding a newborn. It is normal for your nipples to be decently sore for a week or even longer. Make sure that you have someone (dr., midwife, LC) check the latch and keep an eye on things. Many times everything is right, but it still hurts a bit. The pain is temporary and WAY, WAY worth it! :)
I work as a volunteer bfing supporter with new mums, and the number one tip that I tell them is: it shouldn't be painful. If you ever find yourself dreading the next feed, it's time to seek some help. You don't need to suffer in silence. Usually you just need someone to help you tweak your positioning to help your baby latch on more effectively.
I know Abraisme said that some pain is normal, but I'm not sure I agree. At first, hormonal changes mean your nipples might feel quite tender. The first few sucks of a feed can feel very strong, and can be uncomfortable. But if you experience pain (as opposed to discomfort) then do not suffer in silence.
Nursing will make you very hungry and extremely thirsty all the time. Make yourself some high-fibre, high-protein snacks (ahead of time and freeze, if you can, or find easy to make recipes as you go along.) Things that you can eat easily with one hand and won't drip on the baby's head while they're nursing. There are lots of great recipes out there (written specifically for nursing moms!), like homemade squares, muffins and my favourite, baked chickpeas.
Have a "nursing station" set up, and be sure to include spots where you will keep your snacks and a pitcher or large bottle of water, all within arms reach. I had a snacker-napper-snacker, so sometimes I'd be at my station for a long time (she'd fall asleep nursing, then when I'd go to put her down, she'd wake up and want to nurse again) I also kept my Lansinoh, spare burp cloths, my laptop, the phone, a book, knitting, and any sitting down chores to do (like bills) all within arms reach. I had a small table in front of me, and a small cupboard beside. A small foot-stool to raise my knees, my trusty nursing pillow.
I do advocate for making nursing time special, bonding with your baby, making eye contact, talking to them, relaxing and being together. But when they are very little, and sometimes nursing every 15 minutes or for over 30 minutes at a stretch, don't feel bad if you, like me, start to go a little stir crazy and need to occupy yourself with surfing the internet, watching a tv show, or reading a book.
Some things to add:
-If you get engorged, do everything that you can to un-engorge yourself as soon as possible. If you don't, things get really ugly really fast. If you can't figure out pumping or hand-expressing, GET HELP! I was exclusively pumping after my surrogate pregnancy and wasn't emptying my breasts well enough and I got horribly engorged. It took an hour with an LC and a hospital pump to straighten things out. I got engorged with DS too, when he decided to only nurse on one side for a few days, but I managed to get him to start again (by laying him the same direction but sticking out on my other side) and he emptied me out.
-If you really, really can't risk leaking through your breast pads/shirt, use the disposable pads for that outing (I like the Lansinoh ones- I've never leaked with them). I prefer reusable pads most of the time, though, as they breathe much better. But I'll never forget being out to dinner with friends when DS was about 2 months old and leaking through double wool breast pads. I didn't have another shirt, so I had to hide behind the pouch for the rest of dinner.
-It helped me for the first week or 2 to be topless all the time.
-Get a nice, soft waterproof pad to sleep on. There are times when you fall asleep nursing and the little one pops off and you wake up in a puddle of milk.
-Be aware (and make your partner aware) that experiencing let-down during sex is very common. It didn't bother us (we found it pretty comical) but I know it bothers some people.
I loved nursing my son... after awhile. He was always a good nurser and we never had any major issues, but it was still hard at first. I am immensely proud that we stuck with it and he nursed for 19 months without ever having a single drop of formula.
*A friend told me that it gets a whole lot easier by 6 weeks, and by 3 months it's a breeze. I'm sure there are exceptions, but that got me through. Baby gets more head control so you no longer need 3 hands to nurse and the feedings are more efficient. Take it a day or a feeding at a time.
*Your only job the first 2-3 weeks should be to nurse the baby. I was Chief Input Officer (nursing) and my husband was Chief Output Officer (diapers) even in the middle of the night. Slowly add more as you feel comfortable but pull back if you need to.
It was an awesome feeling to look at my pudgy six month-old boy just before his first solid food and know that he was 100% mama grown!
*A friend told me that it gets a whole lot easier by 6 weeks, and by 3 months it's a breeze. I'm sure there are exceptions, but that got me through. Baby gets more head control so you no longer need 3 hands to nurse and the feedings are more efficient. Take it a day or a feeding at a time.
I mentioned this in the other post, but I was a little thrown by this advice (which I had heard from EVERYONE, lactation consultants, midwives, doulas, other nursing mamas) because neither DD nor I were fully comfortable with nursing until she was at least 6 months old. I know that this is unusual, but it can happen, no matter how much professional help you are getting (we saw 4 different lactation consultants, went to 2 different LLL chapters, saw a doctor who specialized in such things etc) and I just want to say that if this happens to be you, don't give up because it's worth it to push through, if it makes sense to do so. We have a beautiful nursing relationship now, and DD is 25 months old.
However, in our case the difficulties were not affecting my daughters weight gain, diaper output or development, so I felt the benefits of breastfeeding outweighed our other physical and emotional difficulties. This is obviously not going to be the case for lots of people who are having difficulties past 6 weeks and 3 months, because there are real supply or health issues, and I don't fault anyone in these situations for making the decision to supplement or stop nursing. But if you find yourself with latch problems, or oversupply,or foremilk/hindmilk imbalance or nursing strikes or gassiness or thrush or any of the other things that can come up AFTER the first 6 weeks and you pass those magic milestones of 6 weeks and 3 months, I encourage you to keep going, because you'll both get it eventually, and just because you didn't do it in time, doesn't mean that you failed.
I second the kellymom.com recommendation.
Especially these articles on the early weeks, they help you know that frequent nursing or cluster nursing is normal, and what to expect!
FYI: Not all tongue ties are an easy fix. In my experience, it took a few months and MULTIPLE trips to fabulous lactation consultants to diagnose my daughter with a posterior tongue-tie. Who knew, there were different types of tongue ties? All I head read about tongue ties told me nothing about this type. I'm sharing this because If your baby is having trouble with a latch, causing sore nipples, it could be a simple anterior tongue-tie which is an easy-fix or it could be a posterior tongue-tie which is actually harder and more involved to correct (most tongue ties are the simple anterior ones though, I think.) I opted not to have my daughter's clipped because she was growing (although a little smaller than average) and the Lactation Consultants told me that the type of tongue tie she had was very unlikely to cause speech problems. But if my next baby has a posterior tongue-tie, I'm going to an ENT that is known for correcting tongue-ties and get an evaluation. I want to have an easier nursing experience with my next baby because I had to work hard for a good latch each time my daughter breastfed, all the way up to the time she weaned at 23 months.
I know I am not a member of this board, but I am a doula that is trained in breastfeeding so hopefully you will still count my suggestions.
1. Find a local La Leche League meeting while you are pregnant. Attend a few times and learn from those that are there. You should be able to notice how easy it is to fall into the habit of breastfeeding. It does not have to be a major production.
2. You must have support to succeed. Support can come from many sources and learning from them all will help tremendously.
3. Do not feel awkward nursing in public. There are still those close-minded people that will give you dirty looks..it is there problem, not yours! You can very easily be discrete while your child is being fed. You should practice ahead of time, but there is not reason you cannot lift your shirt enough to latch the baby while still maintaining modesty. If someone wanted to come sit down next to me and see my pale white rolls of skin then they really needed to look closely...and I'm NOT a little lady!
4. The first 2 weeks are the hardest. Don't give up! I did with my first and regretted it. My second was 5 wks when he gained back his birth weight and that is how my LC and I found that he had issues and my infertility issues caused problems with my milk supply. I spent the next several months on medication and pumping but he was still getting BM. With my 3rd, she was always on the small side but growing consistently. After 13 months of nursing her I took my breastfeeding course to become a doula and I learned that I had her on a wrong latch the entire time. Now I know why it took a while to stop hurting and why I ended up with Mastitus often. If it hurts, get the latch checked!
I wish all of you moms to-be the best of luck and hope you all enjoy the special bonding time you will have with your babies!!!
Things I wish I had known my first time:
*If you have trouble nursing at first, don't panic and think that your baby is starving. I was so desperate to make sure that my DD was getting enough to eat those first few days that I stopped nursing and expressed colostrum for her because it seemed like she wasn't getting anything on her own. In reality, she was getting PLENTY. Seriously, they only get (and only need) a few teaspoons of colostrum at each feeding those first few days!
*A nipple shield is what finally got me nursing, but I paid for it with so many problems that I will never touch one again. Try your hardest to avoid them, but if you do end up with one, get rid of it as soon as possible.
*Know the risk factors for thrush. If you have a history of yeast infections, athlete's foot, even toenail fungus, you may be more susceptible to thrush. If you are given antibiotics anytime during the last months of your pregnancy, during labor/birth, or anytime during the nursing relationship, be on the lookout for thrush and catch it quick. It's easy to treat if you get it early but if you let it go, it can be very difficult to root out and becomes incredibly painful.
*Nursing will likely dry up your sex drive. I never had issues with my sex drive until I nursed. Even when I did get aroused, which took a lot of work, it was very difficult to produce enough lubrication for comfortable sex. This is a direct result of nursing hormones. Hang in there and use lots of lube. Things didn't pick up for me until a couple of weeks after my dd was done nursing.
*Ask about every doubt! I found my greatest help here on MDC, the LLL forums, and at kellymom.com.
Still nursing my 19 m/o and I have a very high sex drive! Higher than my teen years actually but not until the babe was like 9 m/o.
DD nurses every 45 mins for 45 mins until she was nearly 6 m/o! Totally normal!
FORGET about the housework and just refuel and save your energy!
Nurse the baby to sleep and don't listen to any "advice" that supports otherwise. Trust me I spent months and months endlessly trying to utilize the "advice" to no avail. Be easy on yourself.
From my experience, nursing kills my sex drive until my AF returns. So it's been about 12mo each time. As soon as my cycle comes back everything returns to normal. It makes sense to me that there would be little to no drive while I'm unable to get pregnant. That being said, my dh and I still dtd on a regular basis, it's really important for men to still feel wanted after a baby is born.
Oh haha maybe that is why b/c I got AF back 2 weeks after my PP bleeding!
cluster feeding doesn't mean you have low supply! super normal new baby feeding behaviour
follow baby's cues, not the clock
and don't you let ANYONE give you sh*t about nursing your baby where ever you feel comfortable. Ignorant haters are gonna hate.
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