Do's and Don't's for First-Timers

[demoonunit]

Hi everybody!

I just found out on Mother's Day that I'm pregnant with my first. Since I didn't think we would get pregnant on our first try, I'm still trying to get a handle on all the do's and don't's of pregnancy. I wanted to start this thread so we could share our knowledge about what to do and what not to do for a healthy pregnancy.

I just found out yesterday that hot showers/baths are really bad, especially in the first trimester. Thank goodness I found out because I've been taking super hot showers to ease my lower back pain! Man am I going to miss those hot showers!

Also, I know unpasteurized cheese should be avoided, along with raw fish (bye-bye sushi!).

Please feel free to add any tips as they come to you.

[thorn]

there's nothing wrong with hot showers.  hot baths should be avoided, but only so hot that you have to slowly lower yourself into them.  a regular warm bath is fine.  the concern is raising your core body temperature and because a shower allows for evaporation, it doesn't heat you up nearly as much.

do: take everything with a grain of salt

don't: read What To Fear Expect When You're Expecting

do: get information from a variety of sources (books, websites, your care provider, strangers on message boards :P) and make your own decisions

[Mommyofalmost6]

A variety of sources is great advice, so is the advice to stay away from that dang book! Follow your instincts. Just because your porvider says something doesnt mean its gold and you have to do it. You do not have to do anything except have a baby ;) Just because everyone else is doing ABC doesnt mean you have to either. Try to keep a well balanced diet but if all you can hold down is posicles, cola, tea, what ever, go with it. Its not forever and you arent goign to hurt the baby.

Most of all congrats!!!!

[demoonunit]

Originally Posted by thorn 

there's nothing wrong with hot showers.  hot baths should be avoided, but only so hot that you have to slowly lower yourself into them.  a regular warm bath is fine.  the concern is raising your core body temperature and because a shower allows for evaporation, it doesn't heat you up nearly as much.

do: take everything with a grain of salt

don't: read What To Fear Expect When You're Expecting

do: get information from a variety of sources (books, websites, your care provider, strangers on message boards :P) and make your own decisions

The showers I take are long and BOILING hot, and I would be shocked if they didn't raise my core body temp...so I'm making my own decision to lay off on the boiling hot showers. ;) But thanks for the insight. Agreed, fear is definitely an enemy, and it's good to be informed by a variety of sources.

[doulawoman]

a great book is the natural [regnancy book by aviva jill romm. I was a doula and having number two...i've read every pregnancy book and it is my fav, balanced, info on herbs and if you only read one book, it's the one! also wise woman herbal for the childbearing year by susun weed has some do's and don't both have a lot of herbal info...some exercise info in the first etc. i like her balanced view on testing and mitigating problems,,,the uva ursi recipe for uti's was awesome, no antibiotics des[ite 3 uti's!

[EngineeringMama]

I agree, Do take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt.  Do educate yourself with a variety of sources, then use your brain and think about it.

Don't watch baby shows on TV, no matter how educational or how real life or how you think you'll be educating yourself, just don't do it.

[thorn]

Originally Posted by EngineeringMama 

Don't watch baby shows on TV, no matter how educational or how real life or how you think you'll be educating yourself, just don't do it.

oh YES.  this is also a very important don't!!
 

[L'lee]

If you have a kitty, someone else gets to scoop for a while. :) I like this one!

Be cautious of taking ANY medication or drug.

Avoid artificial sweeteners (good to do anyways!)

Avoid fumes from chemicals, cleaning products (also good to do anyways!)

Keep your preformed vitamin A intake lower than 10,000 IU.

Eat nutrient dense, preferably organic whole foods and drink plenty of water.

I personally think the whole "eat loads of dairy" thing is a load of BS.

I agree with the previous comments about books/TV - NO to "what to expect" or TV baby shows, and a big YES to Aviva Jill Romm, Susun Weed, and Ina May Gaskin!

[Eaglevoice]

Don't tell anyone your due date unless you want weeks of annoying phone calls and emails right before you are due. You will be anxious and annoyed enough at the end of your pregnancy, you don't need 25 calls a day from well wishers asking you how you are feeling and saying, "wow, I can't believe you are still pregnant." If you do feel inclined to give them a date, add 2 weeks to your actual EDD :)

[doulawoman]

Originally Posted by Eaglevoice 

Don't tell anyone your due date unless you want weeks of annoying phone calls and emails right before you are due. You will be anxious and annoyed enough at the end of your pregnancy, you don't need 25 calls a day from well wishers asking you how you are feeling and saying, "wow, I can't believe you are still pregnant." If you do feel inclined to give them a date, add 2 weeks to your actual EDD :)

This!! IT really stressed me out as i ended up goign 2 weeks over and I believe our c section was partly due to all the stress from insane relatives etc. phoning continually..hard to go into labour when youf eel like a watched pot!

[lactatinggirl]

You should read The Pregnancy Book by Dr. Sears. He actually goes over the bath thing in there and it says basically that you'll get out before you get to 102 degrees, which is when it can harm the baby. He still says to limit time, but not entirely limit them. Also talks about other things. 

I think I avoided more than I needed to last pregnancy. I also think I got more testing done that I needed to last time. So this time I'm writing on my blog about my pregnancy and the more natural choices I'm making and why. If you'd like to check it out it's theadventuresoflactatinggirl.com

[Conchobhar]

Lessee...

DO make decisions based on what you feel is right.

I agree, DON'T read that "What to Expect" book, nor a ton of websites.  Remember: people want readers and higher ratings.  They can't hook you in if the answer to the question that you're looking up is  "nothing's wrong."  They want you to come back again and again, wondering when the sniffle you have is going to turn into full-blown cancer, like they've told you.

In that vein, DO think of most pregnancy info books/websites as your annoying, schizophrenic, hypochondriac aunt who you don't like to hang around with for longer than 5 minutes at any given time.

DO be proud of what your body is doing and try not to focus on the fact that you feel like an elephant.  (Someone please remind me of this when we're 9 months down the road and I'm posting my millionth complaint about feeling fat).  If you start to feel alone or frustrated with your weight gain, stretch marks, etc, then DO DO DO visit The Shape of a Mother religiously.

DON'T buy everything you see scrolling down the side of your computer screen.  Seriously, you won't need it....You won't listen to anyone and you'll buy it anyway, but you won't need it. 

DO graciously accept hand-me-downs.  You're saving the sanity of some poor sap who did the above-mentioned.  And you get to spend more money on things like diapers...and massages.

DON'T expect a day to go by, where someone isn't going to give you advice about something.  Listen to those you trust.  Punch the others in the nose.  Seriously.  (me included.  Here's my nose...)

DO expect at least one fight with your SO, three with your mother, and 19,875,674 with inanimate objects.

Edited by Conchobhar - 5/15/11 at 11:03pm

[demoonunit]

These are all great suggestions ladies...thank you!

[mrspnut82]

I always took hot showers, I couldn't live without them lol. Really hot baths area no-no and jacuzzis. I couldn't be in a hot shower to long at the end though, I always felt like I was going to pass out, I'd have to stick my head out and breath cold air for a minute. Lube up that belly after you shower even though there's no guarantee it will do anything for stretch marks. Do not stress out if you get them, it's normal.

Research anything big you plan on buying. Check different website for reviews so you don't waste your money with junk.

Don't watch those baby shows, don't read horror baby stories or research too much online. They will only make you nervous.

Do your own research on things like circumcision, breastfeeding, vaccinations, cloth diapers, epidurals/natural birth.... Don't just do what everyone else is doing or what your mother or sister did.

Eat as healthy as you can.

Be active, no marathons but don't get too lazy.

Stay home as long as you can before going to the hospital if that's where you plan to deliver. Sitting in waiting rooms and triages sucks when you're having contractions. You might have a false alarm the first time you go anyways lol. Most likely the baby will not just slide out of you in the car (well with your 1st anyways) so stay at home comfortable as long as you can stand.

Do not climb up on things.

They say to stop wearing heels once you get big.

Do leave your midwife or doctor if you are not comfortable with them, find someone you trust and like.

Don't drink too much caffeine. Try to limit it to a cup of coffee a day. If you love soda and can't give it up like I used to, switch to caffeine free and even limit that.

If you are using disposables buy a pack here and there of the bigger sizes like 3 and up. Everyone buys the tiny sizes for you.

[demoonunit]

mrspnut82, those are really great tips. Thanks!!!

[bellaSweets]

Originally Posted by demoonunit 

Hi everybody!

I just found out on Mother's Day that I'm pregnant with my first. Since I didn't think we would get pregnant on our first try, I'm still trying to get a handle on all the do's and don't's of pregnancy. I wanted to start this thread so we could share our knowledge about what to do and what not to do for a healthy pregnancy.

I just found out yesterday that hot showers/baths are really bad, especially in the first trimester. Thank goodness I found out because I've been taking super hot showers to ease my lower back pain! Man am I going to miss those hot showers!

Also, I know unpasteurized cheese should be avoided, along with raw fish (bye-bye sushi!).

Please feel free to add any tips as they come to you.

Oh oh, I will research tomorrow but why? I drink a lot of raw milk and I was just going to order some cheese. Eeek.

[demoonunit]

Pasteurized cheese is fine, but you want to avoid unpasteurized cheeses. They say that anything made with raw milk is risky.

http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-safe-to-eat-soft-cheese-during-pregnancy_3175.bc

[writinglove]

Thanks for all of the tips, everyone. This first-time mamma to be is grateful. 

[noeonend]

Congrats!!

If you haven't, make sure to watch the Business of being Born.  Also, Orgasmic birth(don't be scared by the title!) is another good one that changes your ideas about birth some if you have ever watched any TLC shows!

Make sure you research breastfeeding before delivery.  You will be a lot better off if there are issues if you have an idea of where to find support and info beforehand.

Do attend a natural childbirth class, but make sure it is not offered by a hospital!  The hospital class is pretty much a "turn you into a yes patient class" and not a "preparation for birthing class"

Do read Ina May, Henci Goer, and ignore anything that makes birth seem scary!

Good luck!!  Starting out already knowing about how to find info on this site gives you a great leg up when it comes to parenting!

[ablepearl]

DO read about and research c-section, as even the best plans can sometimes go awry.  Having a plan and knowing the things you want before the surgery if it is needed will help.

DO get a second opinion if any doctor says you need a procedure you don't feel comfortable with, including surgical birth.

Um, that is about all I can think of that hasn't been mentioned.

I will reiterate though that all you need for baby is; a place for baby to sleep, something to keep baby warm, a safe way for baby to ride in a car, something to catch babies poop and a way to feed baby.  Everything else is a nicety.  If you don't have a bouncer or a swing when the baby is born, it is NOT the end of the world.