Originally Posted by MsFortune
. The other thing, we coslept and nursed and I think that sets up a bad dynamic for dad. It becomes YOUR baby and he just helps.
It seems like that does happen quite frequently but I doesn't have to. And, TBH, I wonder if some fathers use it as an excuse. We have co-slept and exclusively BFed from day one. J has never had a bottle and I expressed for the first time two weeks ago - mainly to make sure my new pump worked. DH has found plenty of ways to be involved and they have a great bond. Now, to be fair, we have not experienced the strong mummy-preference that many babies have so that has certainly made it easier for him to care for her.
These are the sorts of things he does - changes her nappies (99% of them in the early days, still the majority when he is home from work), wears her (virtually all the time when we are out together), baths her (every night when he isn't working a late shift. Sometimes I sit with them so we can chat but usually I play on MDC.), takes her for walks (every morning he isn't doing a morning shift), takes her shopping, to the post office, hardware shop etc, gets up early with her because he is a morning person and I am not.
At the moment they are out together, they're going to go to the markets and then go for a walk on The Esplanade.
Lately, she goes to sleep more easily if he lies down with us while I feed her to sleep, so he does that too. We spoon or hold hands and grin at each other over her head (if we're lying on either side of J). He often gets back up once she closes her eyes and settles and I read a book until she finishes feeding.
I swap from side to side overnight so we spend part of each night snuggled up to each other.
I don't mean this to be a braggy look-what-my-wonderful-husband-does post, I just want to say that co-sleeping and BFing doesn't mean that fathers can't be involved in lots of meaningful ways.