Originally Posted by Tjej
Are you really wanting ideas or just venting? It feels like a vent, but if you do want ideas...
It sounds like your 2yo needs either more sleep, more regular food, or both. It also sounds like leaving him to calm down on his own isn't working well, so he may need more support/scaffolding. My DS calms much better with a snuggle. My DS just needs someone else to be the calmness for him first.
I find if my child is upset about everything like that I generally put them to bed. When all the world is so overwhelming that being upset about everything over and over keeps happening... it can't get any worse with a sleep.
I agree with this. What you are describing does not sound like a two-year-old to me (my son turned two in February). It sounds like a kid who is frustrated and exhausted.
If, as the pp suggested, you are just venting, then
However, this is nothing like my day-to-day experience with my two-year-old. I'll be curious to hear from other posters, because maybe it's just temperament?
Yes, my son can be stubborn, opinionated, and easily frustrated. For example, this evening I had to take a work-related phone call. My son loves to talk on the phone, so he was very upset and frustrated when he couldn't have the phone. I put the phone down, hugged him until he stopped crying, took him into his room, and showed him some toys. Then I went back to my phone call. Had I simply ignored him, walked in the other room, and shut the door, I'm sure he would have screamed.
Another thing that I have found that helps a lot is a very regular routine. We have regular bedtimes and naps. I know this isn't for everyone, but it makes a world of difference for us. We also have regular mealtimes. I try to avoid tantrums by making expectations clear. For example, my son loves juice, but only gets one cup of it first thing in the morning. The rest of the day it's water or milk only. He also has a sippy cup that only ever holds water, so there is no question when I go to fill it that I will be filling it with water. I put milk in a cup that has a lid and straw. He can drink from that or his sippy of water. That gives him some control and choice. I keep certain foods that he's allowed to eat available to him to avoid blood sugar crashes. He grazes on apple slices and almond butter, yogurt, etc. When I'm preparing lunch or supper I let him stand on a stool and watch and maybe give him some cups and spoons to play with.
I know that at his age he is incapable of controlling his impulsiveness (breaking things, etc.), so I keep things that he can destroy out of his reach. He pretty much has free range in the house, and if he can reach it it's ok for him to play with it. I honestly don't feel like he's old enough to understand consequences.
I don't mind messes during the day, and let him drag his toys all over the house, but at bedtime and naptime we pick everything up. I also give him a warning when there is going to be naptime or bedtime, and then we do a regular routine with stories, blanket, etc.
I am a full-time working mom and my house is pretty messy. I get stressed out. My life is not perfect. But I find daily life with my son to be relaxing and joyful. I don't see the twos as terrible at all. However, I am fully willing to accept the possibility that my son just has a different temperament or personality. I just wanted to offer a different perspective.