Problems co-sleeping

[RuthieJ]

I'm a breastfeeding, babywearing mama of two (aged 1 and 3), who feels very guilty not to be co-sleeping, especially since I've read so much research on how good it is for little ones.   But I've tried so hard so many times with both of my children, and we just can't seem to sleep in the same bed, or even in the same room!  Both slept with us as newborns, for the first few months, but now are in their own rooms.  The problem is, they both have so much trouble falling asleep if they are in bed with us, and are so restless until finally I move them back to their own beds, where they sleep like little angels...  And even if they do manage to eventually fall asleep in our bed, they make so much noise throughout the night that they wake me constantly (even with earplugs) - I barely get to sleep for more than a half hour at a time, and it is beyond exhausting.  My husband always gets really annoyed and ends up sleeping in the basement.  Any advice???

[new2this]

We had the same problem with DD. We never(it was the one thing that I said never would happen unless she was sick or something) set out to co sleep because of DH's fears and he is an active sleeper. . And they are still there but he realized it wasn't as bad. 

I miss co sleeping. I miss having her next to me. But it was not working. And I am a strong believer it needs to work for everyone no matter what the pros are or the cons in order to work. DD does not sleep more then 30 minutes if she is in bed with us. She is the one that decided we would stop. She was in our room for awhile but when we moved. We noticed that that was no longer working. So we transitioned her to crib. She sleeps wonderful most night (8 sleep regression right now) but the up side is we all are sleeping better. 

So while the benefits are there and I enjoyed our time while it lasted I also feel her getting the sleep she needs, as well as DH and I is equally rewarding.

I mean isn't parenting about doing whats best for your child. You notice they sleep better in their own rooms/bed. Go with it and don't feel guilty there is enough guilt in other areas parents feel I wouldn't make sleeping one of those. 

If am assuming you have tried separate beds for them since you said even in the same room. Maybe there are other ways to get it to work and hopefully those who have figured it out will be able to help you. I just went with what I saw was working even if it went against what I initially wanted. 

[GreenbankMom]

If your kids are getting good sleep then you are doing the best thing for them!! Oh how I envy you! We co-sleep, but our DS hates sleep in general. So I get the joy of having his little warm body next to me all night (which I love), but he wakes up every hour or so to nurse, he kicks and hits me in the face, and sometimes he stands up and tries to walk around.  

I am a firm believer in co-sleeping. But if he would sleep better in his crib I would happily put him there for his own good. Sleep is essential! Good sleep is such a wonderful thing. If you are able to offer that to your kids then you are parenting well. 

You can easily make up the cuddle time in other ways during the day, no doubt you already do! You can never make up for lost sleep!

[RuthieJ]

Thanks very much, both of you.  You made me feel much better!

[MSWmama]

Originally Posted by GreenbankMom 

If your kids are getting good sleep then you are doing the best thing for them!! Oh how I envy you! We co-sleep, but our DS hates sleep in general. So I get the joy of having his little warm body next to me all night (which I love), but he wakes up every hour or so to nurse, he kicks and hits me in the face, and sometimes he stands up and tries to walk around.  

I am a firm believer in co-sleeping. But if he would sleep better in his crib I would happily put him there for his own good. Sleep is essential! Good sleep is such a wonderful thing. If you are able to offer that to your kids then you are parenting well. 

You can easily make up the cuddle time in other ways during the day, no doubt you already do! You can never make up for lost sleep!

Honestly, if my DS would sleep peacefully in the garage I'd put him to sleep there (not really! I'm kidding! I swear!). If it's working for your family, don't mess with it. :)