Not really excited about the possibility

[Adaline'sMama]

DD is 14 months old. Originally, DH and I wanted to have babes about 16 months apart, but instead we doubled his business and purchased land. Im WOH for 3 hours a day for an elderly couple. It is becoming increasingly difficult to take DD there with me, but I dont really have a choice. Its part of the deal we made to buy the land. Its not awful, but I really cant imagine having another kid there too.
Plus, I am trying to lose weight, and I really wanted to get back down to 130 (30 lbs to go!) before I became pg again. My house is a wreck all the time and I have tons of office-y stuff that Im super behind on because I have a very active baby toddeling around everywhere.Oh, did I mention that we bought land to build a house because we are currently in a tiny apartment in the back of an old store. one very small bedroom.

We typically abstain three days before and after O, so a full week total. But on Tuesday we had a few beers together and it just happened. I think we had some miscommunication, but at any rate, he didnt pull out. Im 90% sure O was on Wednesday. I still havent told him that its a possibility. I know that he will be super stressed out about it, so Id prefer to wait until I know whether I am pg or not to tell him. We have a date this coming weekend (21st) and it will be the first time that DD is spending the night away. I know we are both really looking forward to having a night together without the babe. I cant decide if I should try to test before then and tell him that night i get a positive, or if I should wait and test after our date. I feel like if I get a faint line , or if its not a BFP I will just be nervous all night long. If its negative Ill be afraid that its just not showing up.

I know its really too early to even be concerned, but when we conceived DD, I just knew. Maybe Im wrong, and Ive only experienced it once, but I have that feeling again. Its much less exciting this time. Ive always been very direct with DH about these sort of things, but he is so stressed out about money right now, and hes working upwards of 50 hours a week. I really dont want to add to his stress if I dont have to.

When do you think I should test?
Should I wait to tell DH until after our date?






ETA: After rereading this I realized that is sounds really negative. DH and I DO want more kids, and if I am pg, we will be super happy about it, even if it takes some getting used to.

[Jaimee]

Hugs mama!  I know what it's like to get a BFP when you weren't really wanting one yet.  I think it's a lot easier to handle when you have support.  It takes two to make a baby so despite possible miscommunication and beers, your dh was an active part of that process.  It's not your fault this might have happened anymore than it is his, so it makes sense to me that you both should be a part of the waiting and testing process.  You should not have to carry that around by yourself.  You can take this 2ww as time to talk about the possibilities and connect.  I have always been very upfront with dh about the possibility that something is going on.  I really think it helps to have that support and to avoid the whole "how long have you known this?!" sort of shock that could accompany telling him later on- especially if he's as stressed as you say.  Then he has to deal with the positive there on the spot, which can cause even more stress and incite him to say things out of shock that he might not ordinarily say.  We have always tested together- not me alone- so that we could support each other no matter what the outcome was.  If it were me, I would clue your dh in to what is going on in your head. 

You're 5 DPO now?  Do you temp so that you're sure of your O day?  You could very well know by your date night and it could be the perfect time to discuss the results.  A faint line is a positive just the same.  If it's negative you might be surprised by the feelings that brings up for both of you and again, it would be a good time to discuss. 

Good luck with your decision!  Keep us updated!

Edited by Jaimee - 5/16/11 at 12:30pm

[Adaline'sMama]

Jaimie,

Thanks for your support. We have also always tested together. In fact, when we got the BFP for DD he actually focused his eyes on the results faster than me! I told him last night, and he was fine. He was basically like,
"well, whatever. It might not be a great time for a kid, but it would have happened at some point in the next year anyway, so in the long run it wont matter"

And he is right. While it will be really hard for a couple of years, we did really want our kids to be close together. He and I are both the oldest and come from families with pretty large age gaps. I wished for a sister that was close to my age instead of the three I got who were 6, 10, and 15 years younger than me.

I dont temp. I quit right before DD was conceived. I have always charted to avoid, not to conceive. If O was Wednesday, I will be 10 DPO by next saturday night, which is our date.

[Jaimee]

Oh good!  Now he'll be prepared and you can feel free to be excited and talk about it openly.  Plus, it sounds like even if it turns out you're not pregnant, he's open to another kid soon and perhaps you guys can shift gears to not trying, not avoiding.  I look forward to hearing when you test!

[RTT]

Was Wed. a full moon? I am in the exact same boat- several beers on Wed. night and getting caught up in the moment and now I'm feeling very nervous. I have two kids- a 3.5 year old DD and a 21-month old DS. But, we're almost positive we're done, DH has just been dragging his feet on the vasectomy. I'm planning to test Friday or Sat. (I have a bunch of leftover internet cheapies so I'll torture myself by testing repeatedly). I hope we both get the answer we want!

[Adaline'sMama]

Thanks Jaimee! Ill be sure to post here when I test to let you guys know. I have a habit of testing way too much and Im trying really hard not to do that this time. (But I will likely fail.)

RTT, I think the full moon is actually tomorrow. Where did you buy internet cheapies. Ive been wanting to get some (we'll see, if I get a BFP I wont need them for a while ) but I feel like they wont work? Do you have strips?n

Overall I am less nervous and more excited about the possibility. I think it really just took me hearing that DH was totally okay with it.

[RTT]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

Thanks Jaimee! Ill be sure to post here when I test to let you guys know. I have a habit of testing way too much and Im trying really hard not to do that this time. (But I will likely fail.)

RTT, I think the full moon is actually tomorrow. Where did you buy internet cheapies. Ive been wanting to get some (we'll see, if I get a BFP I wont need them for a while ) but I feel like they wont work? Do you have strips?n

Overall I am less nervous and more excited about the possibility. I think it really just took me hearing that DH was totally okay with it.

I got them through Amazon- they work as well as any pregnancy tests. My first two are almost exactly two years apart and it's a great age gap- good luck!

[Adaline'sMama]

BFP!!!

[JMJ]

Congratulations!

[Jaimee]

Congrats!!!