Pls tell me who is wrong, me or my husband.
Its been 16 years of our marriage , had ups and down as most of the marriages go through but love my husband and kids more than I love anyone in this entire world.
Its been 7 years we have settled in canada(Migrated from India)
Since we came here, my husband had always controlled the finances in his hands. For initial 4 1/2 years i had been earning more than him by doing full time, part time job and indian cooking classes on weekends. I have always been in a good , semi govt job and had been earning more than him, but he always controlled the finances(i never questioned him where and why he is spending thinking whatever he does is best for our family). He pays all the bills , gets statements online( I don't get to see), pays mortgage , car insurance everthing .
Since we came here , he is sending money to his friends, relatives and parents by taking bank credits , loans etc. All our banks remains negative most of the time on monthly basis. If i ask why u r sending every month, then he gets mad and doens't bahave well, so i decide to keep quite in order to keep peace and avoid any tension , stress in the house. 2 1/2 year back i was blessed with a baby and since then I'm at home. I started working in the group home , night shifts ,but he asked me not to do after 2 months. I was making good money by doing my cooking classes but he asked me to stop that as well. I have always tried to make him happy by not doing what he doesn't like and give up my desires but he has taken it for granted.I have no financial liberty at all. 3 years back I got a credit card and I'm only surviving on that(buys household stuff, kids clothing etc) and making minimum payments from child support benefit i get from govt. He is making very good money as he is doing full time job, and his 3 side buissinesses in partnerships and every buissness is giving him  good money(but i don't know how much exactly, I have joint account with him in 4 banks and all those 4 banks gets good money everymonth, I don't have access to his single accounts). He comes home late , the whole day i stay alone and take care of my kids(14 years, 2 1/2 years).
 my father in law had been to canada already 2ice and coming again 3rd time this summer(on all our expenses). its been 5 years we been to India and seen my family. I showed my desire to go with kids but he said neither no but didn't give any positive response and started arguing. I think i need to help myself with my own pain of financial dependany on him. I want to work , but he doesn't let me as the whole family gets full care and he thinks he and kids will get ignored. I can't start any buisness(so i can work 4-5 hours and still take care of the family) as he is holding the whole financial control in his hand. I need to make money and want to buy whatever i want and don't want to explain him where i spend $20. Pls help , how i can stop him sending money to india every month , instead incourage him to pay for his credits and loans and how i can be finacially independant.
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