totally gave up on EC for now, sad about it

[Snapdragon]

When I was pregnant with ds I read a bunch about EC and decided to try it. I was so happy to have discovered it while still pregnant. We started at about 6 days old! And it worked beautifully for about 9 months.  Then ds started hating the potty- crying and refusing to go! IT petered out to where he would pee in the potty but only occasionally poop. then he started freaking out about even peeing in the potty, forget aobut pooping! now at 14 months we have completely given up for now. it sucks! he is fully diaper baby now. For the last 3 months or so. We hve two different potties- a wooden one and a baby bjorn one- he will not sit on them.  he won't be held over te toilet in any position or distracted by singing or toys.  I knwo when he has to poop= and he usually likes some privacy to do so! I Will be able to tell if he has to poop= and where as I used to then take him to te toilet, if I do now h just cries and won't go.  he likes to go off into a corner when he is relaxed and poop. I tried for a while cuing pees over a towel or flat diaper. but he even resisted that. he is not walking yet- he will be 14 months in a few days, but he is very mobile- crawling and climbing anf furniture walking.

So what do I do now? I still want to toilet train/ potty learn him asap- but I don't want to have him associate toilets with fear-- I know he likes to relax when he poops or pees and I can see how someone holding you over a toilet is not the most relaxing-- so I have just sadly given up for now.

Any suggestins on how to bring it back? When he poops I acknwledge it, I say- you pooped- and he says "bop!" for poop.but I can't manage to get him to go in the tolet- it used to work so well until e got kind of willfull. he is very opinionated and stubborn abot his opinions (just like me in that way!)

[Jaimee]

He might come back to it after he's been walking for a bit.  One milestone at a time.   :)  Sounds like you're respecting his feelings- giving it a break.  I know it's frustrating, but I would just keep talking about it, but not pushing until he's ready.

[isabchi]

 This is just ideas!:

 Offer different location and get a new potty with sticker on it.

Offer privacy is that he's looking for.

Switch to trainning pants (non waterproof) or undies. Every time my kids had some strike I usually foward and it worked.

Teaching how to put his own pants down or dress him in split pants so he can go by himself. Also, show him how bring his own pee to the toilet and flush (with your help of course). We also wave "bye bye pee ".

By the way, ll that you said about your child sounds like he's a smart guy and he want to decide when and where to go. He wants to to be in control of himself. Good for him!

[Snapdragon]

thanks- but how do I give him privacy to poop if he isn't in a diaper? he is only almost 14 months.  I Am not comofrtable with im pooping on the rug or floor or whatever- I do not want to create that habit!! or the mess. he won't sit on a potty- he will climb on it for a second but if I put him on it with no diaper on he just crawls off. He used to poop with me holding him over the toilet. he totally got it. he peed in the toilet regularly. I totally respect his need for privacy and his willfulness to do it when and where he wants, and to not pee and poop on command.  But I can't find a way to get him to go in the toilet or any bowl or sink or any place on command. I wonder if he is just too young to be able to controlthe impulse of when to go and know to go in a place where it can be easily cleaned? such as a toilet? I mean, I know people have success with ECing so I assume some kids can do it. He is very smart and I feel like it is an issue of him kind of forging his own way and doing it how he wants- and I get that- I Am very very much that way myself- very willfull and stubborn and like to do things my way. So I get that my kid has that tendency. And I support it. I guess I can just try again to teach him to poop in the potty but I don't know how to give him the privacy because if I know he has to pop, and I pu him on the toilet and walk to the next room, he will just get off the toilet and follow me. hmm. And as for peeing- with a boy it is hard to figure out how to get him to pee in te toilet anyway! Once he is standing on his own and walking I suppose it will be easier- and I plan on having dh teach ds how to pee standing up!lol. He has tried but ds can't even really stand without holding ont osomething yet. I also don't know if he can dress himself yet- I could try split pants but I like to keep pee and poop off of the rugs/floor as much as possible.  he does get naked time regularly, and sometimes he pees on the floor or rug no big deal. But I am not so eager to encourage poop on the floor. so if I know e needs to poop I usually put a dipe on him

[turtlemamameg]

I would say to keep offering the potty, but don't force the matter.  My dd took a month long strike when learning to walk, then a 2 month strike when learning to talk.  Many kids go through a strike at this age.  Just keep talking about it, and changing him promptly.  Also, try to catch the morning pee, always the easiest for us, even during strikes.  Good luck!

[turtlemamameg]

oh yeah, I forgot to mention naked time outside this summer.  This might be really helpful, expecially if you live in an area where this is possible.  :)

[zoebird]

i agree that this is a developmental milestone thing, and boys tend to be more prone to it. DS went through a phase where we simply went potty on a schedule sometime around your DS's age. Then we switched to training pants, and he was so psyched about them, that he went right back to potty.

when he went through another milestone about 6 months ago (language and physicality jump), he started going in his training pants. we went back on a schedule, then got him undies. And now he's completely independent (at 2.75 yo). 

it will work out.