Nipple pain and other frustration...Thinking of breastfeeding AND formula feeding...any advice?

[GillysMom1991]

Ok. So here's my situation...

My DD, Gilly, is about 4 weeks old and has only had breastmilk. Just from the breast, only tried a bottle twice and she took it well the first time but not so well the second time. Also, does NOT like pacifiers. She realizes theres no food in them so she sucks for a second, looks at me like im crazy and spits it out.

But the problem is that my nipples hurt. They've been pretty raw for the past few days and it seems like I can feel the pain everywhere, but only when she nurses. It kind of makes me cringe a little. Its a little sore in between feedings as well. It only REALLY hurts when I start feeding her then it reduces to a dull, itchy, stinging pain. It doesnt affect how I feed her though, I pretty much just suck it up and make sure she's fed.

Along with that, I dont have time to do anything but feed her and whatnot. My DH is in the navy and does alot of physical work so I don't like asking him to do the cooking and cleaning around the house when he gets home. (even though he does most of it anyway. <3 ) But I'd rather him just sit down and feed her while I do the other stuff. (I think I have a slight case of OCD, so I would really rather do it myself.)

Plus, I'm not eating like I should so Gilly's not getting what she needs. I was thinking if I use formula as well... she'll be getting more of the nutrition she needs, it'll give the pain a chance to go away, and let DH get quality time without her crying at him because he's not me, lol. Plus maybe if he feeds her, I'll have more opportunities to actually eat so the breastmilk she gets will be better for her than it is now. And to keep my supply up, I can just pump whenever she takes a formula bottle...That would help me build up, kind of a stash as well. I do not want to stop breastfeeding completly so I plan to do what I can to make sure I can continue doing that.

But here are my questions for you ladies...

Do you think this is a good idea?

If not, any suggestions as to what I can do instead?

I'm new at the whole breastfeeding thing so any advice is extremely appreciated.

:D

[Chloe'sMama]

hi there-

sorry you are having pain.  do you have access to a lactation consultant?  Sounds like a latch problem to me.... 

I would not introduce formula, it messes with your supply.  You can always pump and let DH give a bottle if that would help with bonding (although, DD1 and  DD2 were not bottle babies and DH bonds by cuddling and kisses etc).  Have you tried wearing her?  At that age, a moby or other wrap like that works great.  Super secure so you can have both hands free to do other things.  

I think formula is a slippery slope... anyone I know who supplimented, had their supply tank and didn't make it past 6 months BFing, even if they wanted to .

good luck

[PatioGardener]

Ouch, Mama! Breastfeeding pain is awful. You're a trooper! I suggest that you find a good lactation consultant (IBCLC) and deal with the pain. Once the pain goes away you'll feel much better about nursing.

Honestly, your milk is best for your baby. Yes, even your milk without perfect nutrition is best for your baby. Feeding formula increases risks of infections and other diseases, and makes it hard for a mama to keep her milk supply up. So I'm encouraging you to keep going with breastfeeding. I know those first 6 weeks are rough (been there!) but you can do it. And there are lots of things that can help.

Have you tried wearing your baby? Has your DH tried wearing her? Maybe in a wrap? There is nothing sexier than a man wearing a tiny baby, IMO . If he wears her skin to skin (him bare chested and her in a diaper) she may settle for him. And if you are able to wear her you can actually get some stuff done.

But speaking of that, really for the first 6 weeks or so (for me it was 12 weeks!) it's all about taking care of the baby. If friends came over they brought food and did laundry. My job was to feed my baby. I felt "I'm growing his brain here, the dishes can wait!"

Do you have a La Leche League close to you? If so, please call. The leaders are so nice and often will come to visit and see if they can help. It's nice to have a warm voice to vent to and to encourage us!

For your nipples, why not post here exactly what hurts and when and we may be able to give you some ideas that may help.

Hang in there, Mama! It does get better. I found 6 weeks much better than 4, and 12 much better than 6. Now at 12 months I love breastfeeding my little guy - it makes life sooooo easy.

[Debbie Page]

So sorry to hear of your pain. OUCH! No one can endure that for long. Is Gilly gaining lots of weight in spite of your pain? I always say that pain=no gain: not much weight gain or gain in milk production. I am an IBCLC in Massachusetts, but is there one close by you? Someone who is skilled with 4 week old babies?

[GillysMom1991]

          Quote:

Originally Posted by PatioGardener 

For your nipples, why not post here exactly what hurts and when and we may be able to give you some ideas that may help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GillysMom1991 

But the problem is that my nipples hurt. They've been pretty raw for the past few days and it seems like I can feel the pain everywhere, but only when she nurses. It kind of makes me cringe a little. Its a little sore in between feedings as well. It only REALLY hurts when I start feeding her then it reduces to a dull, itchy, stinging pain. It doesnt affect how I feed her though, I pretty much just suck it up and make sure she's fed.

Its just sore when I'm not feeding her but once she starts eating, the nipple stings and makes the rest of the boob feel itchy. I was actually worried if i was bleeding at first but I'm not. My nipples arent dry or sore or anything. And we use a nipple shield so I don't think its the latch. I've thought about contacting a LLL but I'm not sure how it works just yet.

As for wearing her, i have a baby carrier but she seems like she's too small for it. I'm probably wrong, she seems too small for a lot of her clothes but surprises me by fitting into a lot of them. So I'll probably try it out when she wakes up.

 

 

[Debbie Page]

I may know of a fabulous IBCLC near you. Do you want to message me privately or call me at 978-422-9070?

Do you have a wrap like a Moby or Sleepy Wrap? They are my favorite for carrying babies nice and snug against you.

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by Debbie Page 

Do you have a wrap like a Moby or Sleepy Wrap? They are my favorite for carrying babies nice and snug against you.

I loved my Moby Wrap when my DS was little.

For now, what are you doing to help with the pain when you nurse? I found that taking Advil (ibuprofen) helped me with the initial nursing pain. It is safe to take when nursing as long as mother and baby aren't allergic or contraindicated. Also I LOVED Lansinoh ointment for my nipples - really soothing.

Those are some quick ideas that may help while you look for someone who can actually be there for you.

And my advice is to stop hesitating and call LLL now. I hesitated too - I was really shy to call, but they were wonderful.

[MSWmama]

No flames please, but we started introducing a bottle of formula per night at about that age.  I really really needed the break and I was nursing DS so often that pumping enough for an extra bottle per day just wasn't happening. We only did it for about a month but it really did give me a break and helped a lot. My DS is almost 7 months and still an enthusiastic nurser and I had no supply problems. Actually, DS now refuses to take bottles! I have several friends who did similar things and nursed their babes until a year or more, so it is possible, you just have to be aware of your supply and not let it become a slippery slope (one bottle per night becomes two, etc). I think sometimes the black / white thinking of "breastfeed exclusively or ELSE!" can sometimes turn people off from nursing altogether, kwim? 

As far as your concerns about your nutrition, I wouldn't be concerned about the quality of your breastmilk ... you'd have to be malnourished for it to affect your milk. To maintain your own nutrition, try cutting up fruit and cheese as snacks .. nuts and trailmix, veggies and dip, etc. I used to prepare things the night before while DH took care of DS so that I'd have some snacks during the day. Also, make sure to drink water! 

You're doing great! You're almost through the toughest part of nursing (the first 6-8 weeks). After that, it just gets easier and more fun! 

[clovergirl]

Originally Posted by GillysMom1991 

          Quote:

Its just sore when I'm not feeding her but once she starts eating, the nipple stings and makes the rest of the boob feel itchy. I was actually worried if i was bleeding at first but I'm not. My nipples arent dry or sore or anything. And we use a nipple shield so I don't think its the latch. I've thought about contacting a LLL but I'm not sure how it works just yet.

How long have you been using the nipple shield and what is/was the reason for introducing one?  Have you seen or are you working with a lactation consultant (IBCLC)?  The nipple shield could actually be making the pain worse, if it is not the right size for example.  Also, just because you are using a shield does not mean what is going on inside the baby's mouth/how she is nursing is correct; she could still be doing damage if she is improperly using her tongue and/or her jaw during feedings.  Also, given your description it also sounds like you could possibly be dealing with yeast/thrush. 

I'd really recommend seeing someone in person who can help you get to the root of these problems before considering formula.  Help from LLL is free- in addition to meetings you can usually call a leader in your area for some phone support.  Remember though that LLL leaders are lay people, not medical professionals, and are really best for mother to mother support.  It sounds to me like you could really benefit from working with a lactation consultant, who can assess both the baby and you to figure out what is going on.  You will have to pay for the LC but in the long run it will be less then the cost of formula, should you give up nursing.

I hope you find some relief and answers soon.

[Ldavis24]

I don't have much by the way of advice but the itching of the boob thing I can so relate to..

When DD was new, like less than 4 months old when we'd start nursing my breasts would get so itchy I'd be going mad to try and not scratch them since I needed both hands all the time to nurse DD...My boobs are big and therefore I had to constantly hold a finger in front of her nose so my breast wouldn't smother her...Once we got the hang of side lying nursing and I didn't have to hold a hand there it made things so much better...

I feel for you! I wish I had gone to see an LC in the beginning, I knew that sometimes it just hurts (even when the latch was fine!) and I went through a couple of rounds of blocked ducts and lightly cracked nipples. There were a few nights where I sobbed through nursing, it can be really stressful I think the thing that helped me the most was knowing that for MOST mamas (not all) formula IS a very very slippery slope and I just was so freaked out about my supply dipping. Plus we didn't have a single bottle or thing of formula in the house which helped. 

You've gotten some great advice, talk to an LC, don't give in and hopefully you can meet someone IRL who can help you correct any issues and resolve the pain problem.

I just want to let you know that I think even breaching this subject is so good. It's really hard to admit that things aren't going well and you are having a hard time. At this point ALL you should be doing is nursing the baby. I don't think I ate a hot meal for the first few months because I was always just nursing baby, there were a few nights where DH actually sat on the couch with me and fed me dinner that was how often I was nursing. It does get easier though as time passes it really does!

[OSUvet]

As a mama who went through hell (totally raw, bleeding nipples for 8 weeks) to get to where we are now (comfortably nursing at 13 weeks - and SO worth it!!), I wanted to send some more encouragement. I second the advice to find a good lactation consultant, and agree that a nipple shield used incorrectly can increase pain, and it can also cause other problems. Someone will be able to help you get a comfortable latch with no pain, and then you wont have to deal with formula ( a hassel!). But if your nipples need to heal, or you mentally really need the break I recommend pumping and feeding while you work out the issues. I had to do this off and on for a few weeks. After getting help from several friends, midwives, and LC's, I finally got my son diagnosed with posterior tongue tie at 8 weeks. After getting this clipped things finally started to improve for us!!

You may need to work on your nutrition for you, but regardless your milk is best for your baby. Im not trying to bash formula feeding, but I dont want you to think it is healthier.

Good luck, and hugs. If you really want to breastfeed, please look for the answers now. It's worth it!!

[PatioGardener]

How are things today, Mama?

[Kedrosami]

I just wanted to echo what others have said: formula--don't do it! Doing that this early can really cause supply issues, nipple confusion, etc. and it should be an absolute last resort. I also would contact LLL immediately and talk to someone.

Second I just wanted to reassure you that if you stick with it, it gets way way better! I also had horrible excruciating pain every time I nursed for the first 2 months of my DS's life, but I'm so glad I stayed committed and sought out help from multiple sources, because after that things quickly got better, no more pain, and a great nursing relationship. It WILL get better, I promise!

[Ellien C]

It definitely gets better. Four weeks is really, really young. You aren't SUPPOSED to do anything but feed the baby. don't worry about leaning on others for help - that's their job. Hang in there a little longer before you make any big decisions.

I also want to echo the advice to try Lansinoh for raw nipples. That helped me quite a bit.

[MsFortune]

I got some good breastfeeding advice from my kid's pediatrician.  They deal with this all the time.  If you happen to have a check up for your baby, ask while you are there.  

If you want to feed formula for whatever reason, go for it.  It's not poison.  But I'd hate to have you quit if you want to breastfeed because this does sound like a fix-able problem.  

[MsFortune]

another thought - can you pump and do bottles and give your  nips a chance to heal?  

[1love4ever]

As far as nutrients go, formula is full of synthetic vitamins and minerals which are not very bioavailable (readily absorbed) by the babies body so formula is not a good option.  Eat well, that is what you need to do, as well as taking a whole foods based vitamin supplement.  I would not try formula no matter what, it has some nasty stuff in it.  A baby sling would be helpful so you can carry her and get things done and BF at the same time. 

Nipple cream is my other advice.  I had the same problem with nipple pain the first 2 or 3 weeks of BFing and I used Lansinosh (sp?) and Motherlove alternatly.  Also make sure your babys top lip is pointing up and bottom lip is down so it is like fish lips on your nipple.  If she is latched on wrong just try to move her lip to the right position with your finger while she is still latched.

[SilverFish]

there is nothing wrong with formula. if you are really struggling and needing a break, it is definitely an option. you will not ruin your baby with a bottle or two (fortunately for all those babies out there who need formula to survive!). 

however, it sounds like the problems you're currently having are totally fixable. it sounds very much like you are dealing with a yeast infection. did you have antibiotics during the birth or since? we went through just that at around 1 month and it was tough. yeast can be intimidating to fix, but generally once it's gone, things vastly improve. i would strongly recommend having an LC come to see you. if you want to continue to breastfeed at all, just giving an occasional bottle of formula won't solve your problems... you need to meet with someone to have the root causes of your discomfort fixed.

as to feeling like you're stuck on a couch all day, well, your baby is one month old! you are meant to spend ALL day in a constant rotation of nursing, changing, nursing, napping and repeat. it helps your body heal, to be forced to sit down every couple of hours. don't overdo it. your partner obviously understands what your body has gone through and is picking up the slack... he may work hard all day, but you are working hard too. it is going to get much much better and fast. the first couple of months are really tough, especially for those of us who feel uncomfortable asking for help. but please, don't feel guilty! make it a priority to eat well. when my dd was that small, it was hard to remember to do, but next to her eating, you eating is the next most important thing.

[indie]

I'm a little disappointed to see several people on Mothering saying there's nothing wrong with formula. That's a lie. Even one bottle of formula introduces all sorts of risks. There are situations where formula use is warranted. And if a mom chooses to use formula I'm not going to lay a guilt trip on her. That's her choice. But it should be an informed choice and implying that formula use doesn't have real and sometimes major risks is not the sort of thing I expect to see at Mothering.

I hope that the OP was able to get help from a good LC. It sounds like fixing the latch issue might fix the problem. In fact, if she was given the nipple shield by the hospital they should have made sure she had follow up care.

I work for WIC and see all the time how just an occasional bottle of formula completely derails women's milk supplies and breastfeeding relationships far before they are ready. The OP needs help not an easy fix now for which she and her baby will have to pay later. And the fact that she feels like she needs to be taking care of the house, dinner, etc. at 4 weeks PP is something that we as a society should be ashamed of. She should be doing nothing but resting, healing and feeding/bonding with her baby. She and all mothers deserve a support system that allows that.