Grumble, gripe, grouch.
I'm 29 weeks pregnant.I'm still making my decision about how we're going to do the birth- that is, my husband and I are still discussing our options and making the decision together. However, I'm strongly leaning towards a UC.
Here are my options:
1. The OB practice that delivered my oldest. The OB who delivered him is no longer there, but it would be the same practice. It was a horrible experience, with a bossy doctor who rushed through interventions without notice. I didn't know he was performing an episiotomy until after I'd said "What are you cutting?" and he'd answered "You." Again, he's no longer there, but I'm uncomfortable with the practice even now, nine years later. This would also mean delivering at the same hospital, where the nurses were rude and rough and wouldn't allow my baby to be in my room if I was sleeping. Thirty minutes away.
2. The next nearest OB. Very pushy. These were the ones who told me they couldn't take my word on date of conception (never minding that my then-military husband was in Afghanistan up until days before conception, and out of the state doing the last minute getting-out-of-the-military stuff immediately after, and there is absolutely no question- there was a three day window in which we could've conceived, and that is that) and that the only way to establish due date and begin care with them was an internal ultrasound. Forty to fifty minutes away assuming there's no traffic, but this is at the beach and we're talking late July, so assuming there's no traffic is a big NO.
3. The nearest midwife has a practice three hours away. I do not have an established relationship with her, but I have met some of her local (no longer practicing) colleagues, and there is a lot of emphasis on all this spiritual stuff, and transcendence, and getting in touch with your inner self, or whatever, and I'm a pretty big NO on all that. I'm afraid that she might come with all that too. Also, again, she's three hours away.
4. UC. My husband is pretty on board, and I have easy, short labors. One of the biggest factors here is that my labors so far have been under 5 hours with my first, about an hour and three quarters with my second, and about an hour fifteen minutes with my third. I have a notion that I might not make any of the hospitals in time to have my fourth. Also, I hate hospital labor, and doctors, and all of that, and am a pretty private person, who'd probably rather labor without anyone present anyway, but you see now why I feel the need to mention time/distance for each option.
Now, those are the factors in the delivery. In the meantime, there's the pregnancy. Here's what's up so far: My husband and I got married as soon as he got back from Afghanistan, too, so pretty much the same time we got pregnant. So I was covered on his army insurance for about a month before he got his final discharge papers. The insurance took about three weeks of that to approve the OB visit, so we figured we'd go the one visit, just to let them reassure us everything was going right and baby appeared healthy and all. Even though I disliked the pushy OB practice, I figured they could do a quick (external!) ultrasound peek at the baby and basic bloodwork as well as anyone, so I might as well have the peace of mind of knowing all was healthy. It was.
My husband has *just* taken another job, so in the meantime, there was no insurance. I definitely did not mind not going in for monthly pokes and prods from doctors. We'll be signing up for insurance through his job this week. And then I'll have to settle on my option for birth. If I UC, I'll preregister at one of the hospitals just in case. (I've talked about this in another thread.)
Anyway, to get to the ranting part, ARGH!
My mom is at me to 'get your butt to a doctor'. I can't shut her up. She won't leave me alone. She has had NINE pregnancies herself. She can't possibly think this is a dangerous situation. I'm not sick. I don't need a doctor. I don't need healing. I don't need observation or intervention. I also don't need someone to say "Everything seem alright? Still not doing any drugs or drinking or anything? Not had any problems? Okay, pay at the desk and come back in a month."
Now she's texting at me, going on about how if I don't "get [my] butt to a doctor" 'they' (the hospital) will turn me away. She insists if I show up, in labor, and am not preregistered and don't have a doctor, they "won't let [me] in". Okay, supposing for a moment that I do go hospital, either because I get scared at the last moment, or because something seems wrong to me, or even if I just decided it was what I wanted,
#1, I have nine weeks yet to preregister. (My babies have all come at about 38 weeks.)
#2, No way in hell are they going to turn away a woman in labor, even if I'd never seen a doctor. (My mom says "Oh yes they will!")
#3, I HAVE seen a doctor. So there's no reason I can't name that doctor as the one I'd seen. I've seen him. If I don't see him again before the birth, he's still a doctor I've seen during this pregnancy.
#4, I still have 9 more weeks for any doctor-seeing I feel a need to do. There is no urgency to rush out and see one right now.
And that's all pretending/assuming that I need doctors or hospitals to have a baby. Realistically, what reason is there for me to not just do this by myself? And realistically, what is a doctor going to do for me this week? What is he going to do that's so important that I really need to see him? What the heck is she so fired up and urgent about?