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Do boys or men 'retract' to go pee?

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

Is this something I should show my son to do?  Or just to retract in the bath to clean?  He is almost 3 and I noticed him pulling at his penis a lot this week and not wanting to go pee on the potty.  I asked if his penis hurt and he said yes.  I investigated and the tip was a little red of the foreskin and then his foreskin retracted.  I don't really think it was hurting maybe just feeling 'different'.  It surprised me but I really don't know my role is now.  I have no idea if it fully retracts.  Any links to common care of the natural penis?

post #2 of 16

DH and my boys do not pull back the foreskin to pee.  i remember the boys would get red when their foreskin naturally started retracting (age 2-3 ish).  I just left it alone

post #3 of 16
No one but your ds should retract it if he isnt old enough to understand how then it shouldnt be done. It can wait until he is able to do so without harm just swish in the bath like you have been doing. The inside of the foreskin and glans are usually a bright purple/red and can be shocking to those of use who are used to seeing the pale coloring of circed penis. Separation can cause redness at times as well. But it will resolve on its own given time if no infection is present.

When he is old enough to do it on his own instruct him to retract, rinse with clear water no soap and replace.

Here are the links I have on care.

"Caring for the uncircumcised penis: What parents (and you) need to know"
Thorough pediatric journal article, with editorial notes by CIRP, includes discussion of non-surgical care of foreskin problems.

"Penile Hygiene for Intact (Non-circumcised) Males"
NOCIRC leaflet: "Answers to Your Questions About Your Young Son's Intact Penis"

NOCIRC leaflet: “Answers To Your Questions About Premature (Forcible) Retraction of Your Young Son's Intact Penis"

American Academy of Pediatrics: “Care of the Uncircumcised Penis” http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap/
With editorial notes by Circumcision Information and Resource Pages (CIRP).

Childbirth Educator Today: “Care of the Intact Penis”

"Correct and Incorrect Hygiene of the Baby's and Child's Intact(Non-circumcised)Penis"

As for retracting to urinate that is a personal preference thing. My ds actually pulls his out, away from his body to urinate and it works well for him.
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 

Thank you ladies.  This is great information.  I will look at these links thank you for taking the time to share:)

post #5 of 16

As an iintact male I only retract enough to expose the urethra so that the foreskin does not interfere with the urine stream.  I think it depends on the culture also.  I think in Japan most boys learn to retract their foreskin around the age of puberty and keep it retracted as much as possible...

post #6 of 16
Originally Posted by 4chunut1 View Post

I think in Japan most boys learn to retract their foreskin around the age of puberty and keep it retracted as much as possible...


I am big into Japanese culture and have never heard of this.  Can anybody else comment on this?


Some guys retract to pee some dont.  My intact DH does.

post #7 of 16

There is no right or wrong answer. It depends on several factors, including individual anatomy and preference.


What I have come to understand is that partial or complete retraction to urinate is the norm in the US, but not the norm in other parts of the world. I asked a bunch of my UK friends about this once, many years ago, and not a single one retracts even one iota to pee. They claim their aim is more predictable and natural if they don't; I hear exactly the opposite from men who do. I think the key to understanding this cultural difference lies partly in early childhood experience... since American parents have been trained to start retracting their sons' foreskins at an early age, and encourage their sons to do so, American men tend to have  looser and shorter foreskins than Europeans, for example. It makes sense if you think about it; if your preputial sphincter remains tight, your foreskin gets stretched with every erection. Ultimately you're going to end up after puberty with a longer and snugger foreskin. Is this the anatomical ideal, or more "natural" for males? I have no idea. But I've always joked that I can usually tell the intact European from the intact American at the gym.


What's normal in other parts of the world can be disconcerting to us. I hope this is more instructional than TMI, but I remember about 10 years ago being out drinking with a group of Canadian and British friends in a pub at UBC. I went to the mens room, and a moment later an English guy from our group came in, somewhat buzzed, unzipped two urinals over, put his hands on his hips and started talking to me. I wasn't exactly staring, but I remember being amazed that he had dead-on aim through about 2 inches of foreskin. The reason I was looking his way was to be prepared in the event that my drunk friend decided to suddenly turn in my direction as he was chatting away.


I think parents shouldn't even bring up retraction until the birds and the bees talk, then tell Junior there's some variation and to do whatever he's most comfortable with.

post #8 of 16

I know my dad retracted to pee... whenever I walked in on him as a young child lol...  


So I always thought that was the "right way".  My first husband was circed, so I didn't see anything there to change my opinion either.


My second husband, who is intact, does NOT retract to pee, and it boggled my mind.  


I was fully prepared to teach my son to retract to pee once he was retractible.  But... it seemed to be working just fine without retracting when he was little... and then I married hubby #2... and sonny bubbles, who is now 13 (and fully retractable) doesn't retract.  I don't think it matters... personal preference.

post #9 of 16

DP doesn't but his foreskin isn't very long (covers the glans when flaccid but not by much).  XP does but his foreskin is very long (inches longer than his flaccid penis) and he finds he gets dribbles afterwards if he doesn't.  To each his own!  I'm in the UK and my overall experience is some do and some don't.

post #10 of 16

My four boys do not retract to urinate. Two because they're still in diapers winky.gif but the older two do not. Honestly, it never even occurred to me to think about it. My eldest, who is mostly/completely retractible, likes to stand by the toilet and put his hands on the lifted seat, kind of "leaning" over the toilet. Since his hands are clearly on the toilet seat, and not on his penis, he can't be retracting.


Honestly, I think the foreskin being intact HELPS their aim, making a natural down-spout, rather than everything spraying all over (which is what my two circ'd nephews do, trust me! Lots more clean up after they've been in the house!)


So, long story short, I wouldn't worry about it. He'll figure it out all by himself, when the time comes.



post #11 of 16

I think this is a good example of how every male is different.  I am intact, and I would have absolutely no hope of aiming with any degree of accuracy if I did not retract.  Based on my own experience, I can't imagine how guys can aim properly without retracting at all, but that's just me.  Growing up in England (vastly non-circ country) in the 1980s, I was sat down by my father at regular intervals and told that I should be retracting when peeing.  I have no idea if this was good advice or not, but I seem to remember resisting this and peeing without retracting, leading to a bit of a mess around the toilet!  I guess it just goes to show that even in low circ countries, there are differing opinions on how to treat intact penises.  Everyone assumes that people in countries with low circ rates know all about it and what to do, but I don't think that's always the case.  There is ignorance and conflicting opinons everywhere on this issue....

post #12 of 16
Originally Posted by ursaminor View Post

I am big into Japanese culture and have never heard of this.  Can anybody else comment on this?


Some guys retract to pee some dont.  My intact DH does.

My dad (deceased) was Japanese, but born in Hawaii (2nd generation). I know he retracted to pee.


I have no idea if my boys retract to pee. I generally don't talk to them about their genitalia and/or bathroom habits. I do know that nobody ever taught them to do so.


post #13 of 16

My DH does and what's fascinating is my newly retractable 3.5 year old just started doing it, totally of his own volition. He doesn't see his father pee often and certainly no one told him to. Then again he's just recently discovered this amazing new thing his penis does and he's pretty enthused about it so the novelty may wear off.

post #14 of 16

My DH doesn't, neither does my 5yo. He has not retracted yet anyway, so no reason for him to do it to pee. 

post #15 of 16

I once heard a circumcised man give this as a "reason" he was "so glad" to have been circumcised at birth: "I'm so glad I don't have to mess around pulling that back every time I pee!"

....as we see from this thread, retracting to pee is not a requirement, and even for those who choose to, I'm guessing it is not such a terrible chore that they would be willing to give up the foreskin to avoid it!"

post #16 of 16

Very interesting! I am dealing with some intact penis issues w/ my boys right now, so lurking here; I will have to find a way to (tactfully) bring this up since dh won't have a clue, since he is not intact. Thank you, OP!

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