I look like a terrible mother - Page 2

[raksmama]

LOL!

The only people who might think badly are people who do not have kids themselves!

Anyone who is a parent would understand! My son did stuff like that too.

Don't worry!

[loraxc]

I would add here that I have fond memories of the times I had to carry out a screaming floppy toddler and another parent gave me sympathetic look and smile or a comment ("Oh...I remember that age...man oh man.") So if you can muster it, say something nice or smile when you see someone else suffering.

[coldandsleepy]

My DS likes to throw himself backwards, flat onto his back, when he doesn't want to do something I want him to do.  Like hold my hand while we're crossing the street.  I can't tell you how many times we have been halfway across a street and he's suddenly thrown himself on the ground and I've had to scoop him up and manhandle him across the way.  I know some people are looking at me and thinking I'm a crazy lady, but you know, that's their problem!

[MOMYS]

We do what Tjej does.  Works well for us! :)

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by MOMYS 

We do what Tjej does.  Works well for us! :)

Us too.  Walk calmly or stroller.  Floppy body = stroller.  I can't stand it and I'd rather she was screaming hysterically in the stroller with her tantrum than me screaming hysterically in the street with mine :)

[GoGoGirl]

Oh mama, I just have so much sympathy for you.  We live in Brooklyn, don't have a car, and so have to walk everywhere.  I feel like there are no good options for us to get places.  We were avid babywearers until a few months ago, but now DD freaks out if I try to back wrap her, so that's out.  She'll sometimes sit in the stroller for a few blocks, but then starts screaming, so I end up trying to carry a screaming toddler and push the dang stroller.  We mostly end up walking places, but then we have the tantrums when she wants to run into the street, or walk up people's stoops and knock on their doors.  It's gotten so bad that we rarely go places.  And I'm pregnant, so it's hard for me to carry her on my hip (which we were doing about half the time we walked anywhere, just so it wouldn't take 3 hours of exploring every sidewalk crack to get to the grocery store).  I feel like at this stage, there is literally NO way to get somewhere (even like 5 blocks away!) either without a major tantrum from her, or pain for me from carrying her on my hip.  It's really stressful.  I'm just hoping it's a phase that we get through soon!

[transylvania_mom]

who care what people think! OP, YOU know you are doing the best you can, and that's enough.

When I let my kids draw with coloured chalk on our driveway, I had two of my neighbours on two different occasions telling me I shouldn't let them draw on the driveway, or I should wash the driveway as soon as they finish. I probably look like a terrible mom and housekeeper to them.

... I won't go into seriously terrible things that I did, like homebirthing or bed sharing, I had a couple of people looking at me in horror when I mention them.

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by transylvania_mom 

who care what people think! OP, YOU know you are doing the best you can, and that's enough.

When I let my kids draw with coloured chalk on our driveway, I had two of my neighbours on two different occasions telling me I shouldn't let them draw on the driveway, or I should wash the driveway as soon as they finish. I probably look like a terrible mom and housekeeper to them.

... I won't go into seriously terrible things that I did, like homebirthing or bed sharing, I had a couple of people looking at me in horror when I mention them.

Seriously? Side-walk chalk?? That is so messed up if it bothers people. We had a neighbor wash it off of the sidewalk in front of his house. I just can't imagine sidewalk chalk offending anyone. One good rain and it is gone.  Not like our kids are splaying f-bombs around the neighborhood!

[EviesMom]

I'm in Manhattan, and both my kids are older. I know you don't want to take the stroller bc she likes to walk, but get a light easy to push one and just take it. If she does limp-body, she goes in the stroller. If she can undo the straps, get something that prevents her from doing so.  Yes, she'll scream, but at least she'll be in a safe place. In my experience, the next step to this is them running away from you/into the street after you refuse to drag them along. Or to sit down in the middle of the street. And it doesn't take long for them to discover that you're serious, not walking properly means they go in the stroller for the next x blocks or x minutes. Then they stop doing it. I think a stroller that the toddler/preschooler can't get out of is basically the NYC equivalent of a car for people elsewhere in the country. It carries lots of stuff, provides a place for kid time outs and naps when needed...

I wouldn't worry about other people's opinions though. People will make comments no matter what you do. (I get the "you shouldn't be in a stroller, you should be walking!" one a lot. If he walks, it's "He shouldn't be so far ahead!") Everybody's got a stupid comment to make it seems.

[EviesMom]

Originally Posted by Dandelionkid 

Seriously? Side-walk chalk?? That is so messed up if it bothers people. We had a neighbor wash it off of the sidewalk in front of his house. I just can't imagine sidewalk chalk offending anyone. One good rain and it is gone.  Not like our kids are splaying f-bombs around the neighborhood!

Hey, you're lucky. I know a woman in Brooklyn where the neighbor (who had previously sued for other equally silly nonsense), called the police because the kids used sidewalk chalk in front of her house!?

[transylvania_mom]

Originally Posted by Dandelionkid 

Seriously? Side-walk chalk?? That is so messed up if it bothers people. We had a neighbor wash it off of the sidewalk in front of his house. I just can't imagine sidewalk chalk offending anyone. One good rain and it is gone.  Not like our kids are splaying f-bombs around the neighborhood!

lol, it was funny. Thing is, these are extremely nice people, who often come over to chat, or for Christmas meals. But one is in his 50s, the other one in her 70s, so I guess they forgot how it was to have little ones. I guess they thought they were offering helpful advice.

And the kids were drawing on our driveway, so they weren't bothering anyone.

Whatever you do, you can't please everyone.
 

[shnitzel]

I have a bugaboo with a 5 point harness but she is quite skinny and can wiggle out of the top straps and then pitches herself forward.

It is also difficult to push the stroller and run after her, sometimes I need to leave the stroller and chase her and I am always terrified it is going to go flying into traffic. 

I think a lot of my worries are just me projecting, for the most part I am always impressed at how kind and helpful people are in this city. They are less inhibited so nobody seems to have a problem chasing my kid or catching my stroller when I need help because they have no qualms about not minding their own business and I really like that!

Everything takes forever right now since we jump off every ledge, walk into every store, have to count to 3 every 5 steps, etc. but I need to get the basics done so we can go somewhere where she can really run off that overabundant energy that she can't get out in our teeny tiny apartment.