I didn't think I'd ever post this, but after my appointment with the OB I am completely torn as to what I should do about this birth. I've been seeing both the OB and a homebirth MW since the pregnancy- I started seeing the OB because I had a Subchorionic Hematoma. It has pretty much cleared up now, so I should have a good and healthy pregnancy from here on out. Which is WONDERFUL news! However, I got to talking to him about his birthing policies and philosophies, and we really connected. I told him that I've had both my older children completely natural and intervention free, and would really like to with this one too, but I'm a little nervous about my lack of hospital choices in the area (I moved from a bigger city with a baby-friendly natural birth friendly hospital). I didn't run down the entire natural-mom crunchy birth list, but I mentioned the things that matter most.. he told me he is fully supportive of natural births, and that he delivered 5 out of 6 of his own children when his wife had natural births. He said that he makes sure that he is there for the birth of his own patients (not like whoever is on call when you go into labor, like many places do), and that I could have very little interventions.. the only thing that he thinks is important is having a hep-lock and intermittent monitoring (which is what my MWs do anyway).
OK.. so, my homebirth midwife.. she seams really nice, and many of my friends have had her and loved her. But, I've not felt like I've connected with her very well. She lives 45 mins away from me, and through a canyon and over a mountain- being due in December scares me a little with her being able to make it here at all. The biggest thing though is the money. It will be $3000 (which is very reasonable, but we so don't have that kind of money).
About the money.. I am on medicaid (or will be soon), so I will not have to pay for a hospital birth. DF and I are both full time students, and although he will be working as well (he's currently out of town, and will be finding a new job when he gets home), we're barely going to be able to make ends meet as it is. And, we need a new car. I'll have 3 children, and neither of our cars will fit 3 carseats. So, we are going to have to get a car that seats 7-8 shortly before the baby comes. My MW requires payment before the birth. Unlike my last MW who let me pay as I could (and I paid her off in a good amount of time, mostly after our tax return).
So, basically what I am thinking- if I found a good natural minded OB who would be perfectly OK with me having a natural birth, but it was at a hospital, and I didn't have to pay for it, would it be a good option? And with that, I really want to have a homebirth. Is it worth it to spend that kind of money that I don't really have, and when I NEED something for my whole family, like a new car that we can all fit in, and be safe in? I don't want to cheat myself out of a homebirth because of money, but I am also trying to look at the bigger picture and be responsible too.