Is it ok to start my older toddler in preschool once the twins are here?

[austinbabe]

Hi girls,
My daughter will turn 3 this summer and I'm 29 weeks with twins. She hasn't started preschool yet and everybody tells me I should start her before the babies come so she won't think we put her there just because there's new babies in the house. Is this true? If we do end up starting her close to or when the babies come is she really going to feel slighted?

[Shuli]

Hi, my twins are 27 months older than my sigleton, I did it opposite to you. My kids were already going to a private home run daycare before the baby was born, and truly it was a godsend. I think that if you explain to her that she is the big sister and because she is so big, it's time for her to go to school with the big kids. I think that if you make time for her when she comes home, depending on what type of child she is, she should be fine. I also think that when she comes home if you give her little jobs to do to help you take care of the babies like bringing you diapers when you change them, etc, it should be fine.

[ABO Mama]

My twins are almost 3 years older than my youngest, and I chose to wait to send them to preschool.  I'm glad I did, because as soon as they went, they brought home so many colds!

[tutucrazy]

I'd say it is too close. It will take a good 2 months to fully adjust to school and with twins you might have barely 5-10 weeks left. School was a huge adjustment for my little guy, I can't imagine adding new siblings to the mix. Maybe wait until the babies are 3 months is a better solution?

[mylilmonkeys]

I would consider the transportation part of the equation...how is she going to get there and back?  With our school, I have to do the transportation or arrange for it, myself.  We don't have busing within the city limits (very small city).  I have been very, very blessed to have another twin mom, whose twins are now in high school, volunteer to run my preschooler home most days and even pick up my older children when possible.  Otherwise, I load up all 8 kids to drop off in the AM, then 3 hours later, my twins, toddler DD and I go pick him up.  The school secretary watches for us so I don't have to get everyone out and in again, but whew, it can be a job!  If the twins are napping, or worse, nursing, and I have to interrupt to run to school, it's not a fun time.  DD is old enough for preschool next year, but I'm going to hold her out until she is 4.  

[Llyra]

I started my toddler in preschool a few months after our twins were born. She was a month before turning 3 when she started. I'm very glad I didn't start her before the twins were born. In the last few weeks before the birth, I would have been completely unable to handle transporting her there and back. Also, in the first few weeks after the birth, I also would have struggled with getting her there-- it would have locked us into a fixed start time in the morning, and when I'm caring for three LOs all night, I need all the sleep I can get-- I wouldn't want to HAVE to get up at 8, to get a kid to school, if I had any choice in the matter. She would have missed too many days. Also, while having her home during that whole time presented plenty of challenges, it also gave her a chance to feel fully part of her newly altered family, and in the long run I think that turned out to be valuable.

There's also the issue of illnesses. Kids bring home a LOT of illnesses, in the first few months of preschool. And that can be hard to deal with, when you're already dealing with pregnancy and birth and the demands of new babies.

I AM however very glad that I started her soon after the twins were born. (They were four months old.) It gave her the chance to feel like the special one, with all the fuss of new backback and new lunchbox and new shoes and all that little stuff that small children get excited about-- and all the taking of pictures, and new friends, and stuff like that. It put her back in the spotlight, which she needed badly. Plus, it gave her some relief from the dreary routine of nursing/diapers/naps that we were living in at home, and it gave me some time to spend with the new arrivals without the constant chatter of an active toddler in my ear the whole time. The twins were old enough to handle exposure to colds and stomach bugs, and I was settled into my new life enough that I could handle a sick kid when necessary. (and it WAS necessary!)