Hey....I am a first time mom to an almost 8 month old girl. I am 28 years old and had 4 lost pregnancies before I was able to have my daughter.
I decided that attachment parenting was the right choice for me almost at the instant she was born....it was just my natural instinct to keep her close to me....to breastfeed...so on so forth.
However I am beginning to get really down feeling... it seems like no one understands me. Where i live many of the things we do are almost unheard of. When people hear that I believe in co-sleeping....they say one of the following things ..."that's dangerous"....."awww its just bc ur a single mom...if u weren't u wouldn't want baby in bed"...."that's not good bc u need ur own space so u both sleep better"...."u know she will never be independent and be able to sleep on her own bc ur too needy and have to have her in the bed"
People look at me like an alien when they see me in the store wearing my baby...some people seem a little interested but many of my family insist that she's gonna be too dependent and never learn to walk or crawl on time bc she's always on me....but to be fair she isn't always on me!!!
When she doesn't listen when I tell her not to do something and I go speak to her gently...explain why she can't touch it and redirect her...they think im crazy...they say "she can't understand what ur saying but if u just give her hand a little pop she will stop"....it gets at me bc they act so smug when they say these things...like they are having to educate poor me...so I simply reply with " ur right she probably doesn't understand what im saying... but at least then she wont be hit and not even understand why!!!"
Make my own babyfood out of organic foods...then im apparently just spoiling her with unnecessary things.
Cloth diaper....."too much work, id rather take that time to get a free minute for myself"<---- yes I was told that!!
My daughter isn't vaccinated and for that im apparently a bad parent...even after I explain that I have a history of bad allergic reaction to a couple of vaccines in my family...I just get told that I can still get them for her and just have the doctor have a shot and have benedryl ready to give her. Grrrrrr why would I wanna risk having to give her MORE chemicals!!!
The idea of wanting to breastfeed past one is simply enough to make jaws drop!!!
Most the "advice" I get from people who don't understand the AP choice is always stuff like...u need ur own space...u need to sleep..u need to have ur body back from belonging to baby(breastfeeding)..u need to go out...u need u need u need...why wont they understand that I just don't feel the need for those things right now...I don't say bad things about them for needing them...I don't say " well maybe u should have thought about what u need before u brought a baby into the world who now NEEDS u!!!" The one I hate the most is when someone says..."I need my own identity...I dont wanna be define just as a mother"....WHAT!?!?!? Once u have a baby...u will then forever be a mother..and that's an honor!!! I don't know...all I know is people need to do what's right for them and they may not agree with everyone elses way...but at least keep ur mouth shut about it like I do!!!!
GEEEEEEZ!!!
Lol sorry that my intro was a rant...but I just needed to get it out!!! I hope to find more support here!!!
Edited by skybluheaven - 5/17/11 at 10:11pm
I decided that attachment parenting was the right choice for me almost at the instant she was born....it was just my natural instinct to keep her close to me....to breastfeed...so on so forth.
However I am beginning to get really down feeling... it seems like no one understands me. Where i live many of the things we do are almost unheard of. When people hear that I believe in co-sleeping....they say one of the following things ..."that's dangerous"....."awww its just bc ur a single mom...if u weren't u wouldn't want baby in bed"...."that's not good bc u need ur own space so u both sleep better"...."u know she will never be independent and be able to sleep on her own bc ur too needy and have to have her in the bed"
People look at me like an alien when they see me in the store wearing my baby...some people seem a little interested but many of my family insist that she's gonna be too dependent and never learn to walk or crawl on time bc she's always on me....but to be fair she isn't always on me!!!
When she doesn't listen when I tell her not to do something and I go speak to her gently...explain why she can't touch it and redirect her...they think im crazy...they say "she can't understand what ur saying but if u just give her hand a little pop she will stop"....it gets at me bc they act so smug when they say these things...like they are having to educate poor me...so I simply reply with " ur right she probably doesn't understand what im saying... but at least then she wont be hit and not even understand why!!!"
Make my own babyfood out of organic foods...then im apparently just spoiling her with unnecessary things.
Cloth diaper....."too much work, id rather take that time to get a free minute for myself"<---- yes I was told that!!
My daughter isn't vaccinated and for that im apparently a bad parent...even after I explain that I have a history of bad allergic reaction to a couple of vaccines in my family...I just get told that I can still get them for her and just have the doctor have a shot and have benedryl ready to give her. Grrrrrr why would I wanna risk having to give her MORE chemicals!!!
The idea of wanting to breastfeed past one is simply enough to make jaws drop!!!
Most the "advice" I get from people who don't understand the AP choice is always stuff like...u need ur own space...u need to sleep..u need to have ur body back from belonging to baby(breastfeeding)..u need to go out...u need u need u need...why wont they understand that I just don't feel the need for those things right now...I don't say bad things about them for needing them...I don't say " well maybe u should have thought about what u need before u brought a baby into the world who now NEEDS u!!!" The one I hate the most is when someone says..."I need my own identity...I dont wanna be define just as a mother"....WHAT!?!?!? Once u have a baby...u will then forever be a mother..and that's an honor!!! I don't know...all I know is people need to do what's right for them and they may not agree with everyone elses way...but at least keep ur mouth shut about it like I do!!!!
GEEEEEEZ!!!
Lol sorry that my intro was a rant...but I just needed to get it out!!! I hope to find more support here!!!
Edited by skybluheaven - 5/17/11 at 10:11pm
Welcome to Mothering!
