Dreaming of a beautiful home/daily routine....overwhelmed by the reality - Page 3

[andromedajulie]

momma,

I was online yesterday trying to get technical help so i could finally order dh's father's day present, and since it was only going to 'take a sec' my 10 mo old did not have a diaper on because i was too lazy to go downstairs and get one, and when i turned around, there she was in a pile of pee and poo, playing with one of her little pieces of poo.

You are not alone!!

Please do not be so hard on yourself! I beat up on myself for stuff and it's NOT HELPFUL!

also, those people probably have nannies and housekeepers, are you kidding?!

hang in there. i agree that it is discouraging, and i don't know if it will ever end, but be kind to yourself. our children need to be loved, and have sane, mostly-happy parents - that's it!

[Gucci&Granola]

Been thinking a lot about this thread lately.  I think if you're doing all you can do that's enough.  Some days the house is clean, some days it's chaos.  I may have a crap morning dealing with our barking dog, a baby poo explosion, and ridiculous amounts of laundry and then manage to pull it all together in time to make a beautiful dinner and have a nice bath with DD in the evening. 

If you can point to little accomplishments (and really try to remember them) when the proverbial poo hits the fan it may help keep you from going crazy and getting super discouraged.  I know it helps me.  One small clean area, a single craft project completed, something nutritious to eat.  Does it mean everything is prefect? NO, but it's proof that I'm doing my best.

[Carma]

I have a feeling that things like Facebook etc., make it even worse. A lot of people show only the good parts of their life (baking cookies with the kids, kids playing wonderfully together). Which makes you feel that you have things much less well organized.

Our home is also quite messy. I second the advice, that when you do your best it is enough. You can try to think of smart shortcuts (not folding the socks etc.), cleaning the bathroom quickly when you go to the bathroom. Also what helps me, is to try to make less mess when I cook for example, already put used stuff in the dishwasher (I still have to teach that one to my DH). I try to do one laundryload a day. A lot of times we have lot's of laundry in the house, but at least it is clean laundry.

To be honest, I am a WOHM, and I often have the same feeling at work. That I don't get enough done, wasting time on the internet. I think it is just very draining to have small kids (not enough sleep, not much time for yourself). I don't want my kids to grow up quickly, but I am looking forward to them being more self sufficient and sleeping though the night :)

Carma

[fishywishy]

I love this thread - it makes me feel so much better!  

I agree with the others, try Flylady.  I stuck with it for a week () and it really did work...I tell myself everyday that I am going to start it again...

[bignerpie]

There have been lots of recommendations for Flylady, but I have been using Motivated Moms- http://motivatedmoms.com/. It has really helped me maintain my house. Sure, there are usually toys all over the living room floor, and I don't clean my bathroom sinks every day like I'm supposed to, but my house has never stayed this clean for this long. Having those little things done really improves my mood and motivates me to take care of bigger stuff. I've turned the checklists into routines. Like I make sure the dishwasher is loaded every night, and I run it overnight, so I wake up to a clean kitchen every morning. I don't get that overwhelmed feeling first thing. I also started making my bed as soon as I get up. The only time I used to make my bed was when I changed the sheets! Having a made bed and a clean sink really makes everything better!

One way that I've really been able to make this happen has been to walk away from the computer. After I make my bed, I have a cup or two of coffee and check Google Reader, Facebook, and Mothering. When I'm done my coffee, I close the laptop and start doing something.

Before I settled into this routine, I did a big purge/decluttering. I read Organized Simplicity ( http://www.amazon.com/Organized-Simplicity-Clutter-Free-Approach-Intentional/dp/1440302634 ), and it really helped me.

This all has taken me about 4 months to get to this point. It doesn't happen overnight. I also rely on the TV to keep my son occupied while I get certain things done, too. I felt awful about it for a while, but sometimes we just gotta do what we gotta do.

I just thought of something else. I made myself some cleaning wipes out of old coffee containers and paper towels. Here's the instructions: http://organizedhome.com/clean-house/make-your-own-cleaning-wipes . One of the biggest size Folgers containers fits a half rolls of paper towels perfectly and has a handle built in the side to make it easy to carry. I have one in my kitchen and one in my bathroom. It makes it so easy to wipe down countertops/toilet seats/whatever. It may not be the greenest option, since it still uses paper towels, but it really works  for me.

[Susan Kunkel]

Things will get easier as your children get older. My 9 and 7 year old sons can help me clean the house and make dinner.

[queenofchaos]

I think it was Mark Twain that said life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.  Whoever said, it's just too true!  Goals are good, but not if you feel more defeated than successful.   I have found that focusing on one thing that is most important to YOU (such as getting dressed before 12pm) really helps.  Even if it's small, it seems like when you meet one goal, it snowballs.  JM2C 

[llwr]

Here are some things that helped me with housekeeping:

1.  Do it now -- It's not always possible with little ones, but it makes such a huge difference.  Do your best to do it as soon as possible.  In our house, if something sits for 24 hours (and it still often does), it could easily be there for the next month or lots longer

2.  Night-time routine -- Get the house to as good or better than it was when you woke up.  You may not be as baseline yet, but if it doens't continue to get worse, you can still manage it.

I also have a weekly chore list with about one rotating chore a day, meal planning, etc.  It helps me a lot to keep on track.  When I get too far off it, things fall apart and I feel like I don't know where to start.  I schedule "special time" with my kids on here.  It doesn't have to be lot or doing something special.  You could also use this to organize a routine.  It doesn't have to be time-specific, just an order for the day. 

Scheduling things for the morning helps us. 

I usually don't get to the computer till they're in bed for the evening.  It just works better that way. 

My big eye-opener was last thanksgiving when we spent a weekend at SIL's house who has no kids.  I had been really struggling with a messy house that I didn't have time to clean and being exhausted because my kids weren't sleeping.  I really believe in SAH, but was definately struggling with it.  I realized:

1.  Kids really are that much work.  I have a spirited 4yo and a 20 mo, so it'd been awhile since I've really seen what life looks like without kids.  Taking care of kids IS a full time job.  End of story.

2.  I attempt to do a lot.  It's normal to me, but really SIL and lots of the mainstream don't CD, EC, make their own yogurt, cook from scratch, AP, compost, fruit and veggie garden....  I believe in this stuff and don't want to give it up, but it somehow helped to know that I really am doing/trying to do a lot. 

[melissel]

I  this thread!

[LoveMyThirsties]

I quit my very well paying corporate job to stay home with my son thinking that I would have dinner ready for my husband every day and that I would play with the baby and he would take naps when he needed to.  Then I would get laundry done and folded and put away.  Oh, and then I thought that FINALLY now that I was staying home my house would FINALLY be sparkling clean... well, reality set in quickly.  My son is 7 months old now and just the other day I vacuumed the second floor after about two month of not vacuuming upstairs.  It was 10pm at night and I just took out the vacuum and off I went.  It seems like the only thing that ever gets done is diaper laundry and I'm FOREVER cleaning our tiny living room and dining room.  I swear I clean these two rooms every day... <sigh>... it *will* get better right?