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Breastfeeding.... - Page 2

post #21 of 46

Remember.. when that big independent looking toddler is YOUR toddler, it'll be different :) You'll remember your newborn's face in your toddler's expressions. You'll watch them sleep, and think of what a sweet tiny baby they are. With dd especially I noticed she just seemed younger when she slept. We coslept and if she'd stir to nurse, as a young toddler (idk, 12-18 months range?) she'd start rooting around for the breast just like a tiny baby. When you see that huge toddler do that, your mama heart melts and you won't see a toddler, you'll see a baby. 

post #22 of 46

I haven't read all the responses, and don't want to get into a debate.  But I'm planning to nurse until 2. That worked well for me with my second.  Although I do think I'll night wean earlier.

post #23 of 46

I wanted to nurse until my son was at least 2 (since that is the recommendation) and we almost made it!  We had to wean at 22 months due to an illness that caused me to have to take drugs that are contraindicated during nursing.  I could have kept going for who knows how long, and my son had no intention of stopping.  Sure, a two year old is very independent but they are also VERY needy still!  Once it's your own child you'll realize that they are always your baby.  There is really no difference between an 11 month old and a 14 month old (who is then "i year old") and then they go from 23 months (1 year old) to 25 months (2 years old) so quickly.  It is really arbitrary to have time limits based on age, if you see what I mean.  Many children self-wean when they are ready.  My son only nursed morning and night when we weaned.  Some kids nurse more, but he didn't mind drinking from a cup.  They don't need supplemental milk (though society tells you they do) after one year as long as they are getting lots of water and good fats from their diet.  Milk is simply to help them gain weight.  I felt good bf-ing because I knew my son was getting vitamins that he needed, but it wasn't because he "needed" milk.  However, when he was 18 months old he got hand, foot, mouth disease and would. not. drink. or eat. anything.  He had sores in his mouth so it hurt to have anything warm or cold, so body temp breast milk was all he would drink.  It kept him from getting dehydrated- what a godsend it was to still be nursing!  

 

Best of luck.  I hope you enjoy breastfeeding as much as I did.  It was a rough start, but once you get the hang of it it's SO great to be able to feed them on demand and not heat up a bottle :)

post #24 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbk21 View Post

However, when he was 18 months old he got hand, foot, mouth disease and would. not. drink. or eat. anything.  He had sores in his mouth so it hurt to have anything warm or cold, so body temp breast milk was all he would drink.  It kept him from getting dehydrated- what a godsend it was to still be nursing!  

Yep, at 18 months my dd got rotavirus.  Thank goodness for breastfeeding b/c her case was mild- more mild than her vaccinated friends'.  She also got hand, foot, and mouth disease and that was mild as well.

post #25 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by necerj View Post



I think im just scared. I dont know. Its something COMPLETELY new to me. Ive never really talked about it to anybody before...

 

I used to work at a preschool and seeing all the kids there one and 2 years old seeing how independent they are by themselves, it makes me think that they dont need to be breast fed. But then I forget that EVERYONE is different and those parents work A lot and probably just dont have the time. But I will be a stay at home parent, so I will have the time. So I plan on going with the flow
 

 


Just visiting from the December DDC.  :)

 

I think most people, possibly even including my dcp, would look at my very independent-looking 3-year old and never guess that he still nurses.  Often, once the child gets older, it is a very private thing.  I've nursed both my boys and worked full time both times.  I pumped for the first year and provided ebm for them at child care during the day.  By the time they hit 12 months (and I was sick to death of pumping at work), I transitioned them to cow's milk during the day, but continued to nurse them at night and on the weekends.  I nursed my first until he was 4, and my 2nd just turned 3 and is still nursing.  But I think the number of people who actually know that I can probably count on one hand (and they mostly live in my house, lol).  It's not that we avoid telling people, it just mostly never comes up.

 

post #26 of 46

I would never consider weaning before 12 months. I weaned (didn't want to but it was an emergency situatiuon) my 1st at 18 months, and I'm still nursing my daughter (18 months this week) and will probably wean right before baby comes (don't care to tandem). Hope to make it to 2 years with Baby #3.

post #27 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by necerj View Post



I think im just scared. I dont know. Its something COMPLETELY new to me. Ive never really talked about it to anybody before...

 

I used to work at a preschool and seeing all the kids there one and 2 years old seeing how independent they are by themselves, it makes me think that they dont need to be breast fed. But then I forget that EVERYONE is different and those parents work A lot and probably just dont have the time. But I will be a stay at home parent, so I will have the time. So I plan on going with the flow
 

 

Well I can't speak completely from experience because I have never nursed a 2-3 year old, but I do agree with the other posters who say that it's probably different when it's YOUR baby.  My son is 12 mos now and he is still so much a baby to me.  Yes, he toddles around and "talks"/squeaks and says mama and all that but he is really needy.  He doesn't fall asleep on his own and he doesn't eat a ton of solid food.  Yes, it's probably not necessary to give a toddler who eats plenty of nutritious food but isn't nursing supplemental milk, but many 12 month olds are not great about eating and can be VERY picky.  Even formula fed babies need to be weaned from the bottle/milk.  Sucking on a bottle while cuddling with Mom/Dad is their form of nursing and it can be hard for them to let go of that, too.  

 

I do plan on nursing my next baby much longer.  I won't be working nights anymore next year and don't have plans to have another any time soon so hopefully I can make it to age two!  FTR, I don't think it would be weird AT ALL to be nursing my one year old still and his 20 month old friend from play group who still nurses doesn't seem weird to me either.  Before I had kids, the idea seemed much more odd because I always knew my mom had me/my siblings weaned from BFing by 6-8 months old.  

 

The part that is scary and was scary to me during my first pregnancy is the idea that BF'd babies need to nurse CONSTANTLY.  Well, this really was only true for me for the first 6 weeks or so.  After that, he really only nursed all the time during growth spurts. It IS hard at first because nursing a newborn is tough.  I had to be sitting up in a certain chair with a Boppy and him in a football hold for the first month or it just wouldn't work.  Once he was 2 mos old and I learned how to nurse lying down (read: in my sleep!)  things got soooo much better.  By 4-5 months old, he could roll over and latch himself on by himself.  I hardly even woke up.  If you let your baby nurse like that through the night, he/she will probably be less likely to be attached to your boob all day long.

 

Anyway, don't be scared!  Even if you have trouble at first, it will seem like second nature in no time at all.  I speak from experience when I say there is nothing worse than getting out of bed, going downstairs, mixing a bottle (all while your baby is SCREAMING for food) and having to come back up and feed it to him for 20 min.  Sooo much easier to roll over and pull out the boob.  Good luck!!!

 

post #28 of 46

Necerj- I can relate to you-  I was sooo nervous about breastfeeding before DS was born!  In fact I was more nervous about it than the labour and birth itself!  To be totally honest, the idea of a person (little as they might be even as a newborn) nursing on me kind of weirded me out ;)  I literally had bad dreams about it.  SO i read as many books as I could and I just tried to think positive about it.  

 

When it came right down to it and I finally had that little babe in my arms there was not a single 'weird' thought in my mind.  I was just glad that he was latching on.  Like I was just watchin and routing for my little guy to survive and he was on his way :)  Doing what he was suppose to do!  He was so sweet!  There was a lot of learning..pain, cracks, blisters, awkward engorgment in those first days/weeks.  But things got better and then a couple incidences of mastitis in his first nursing year and that was PAINFUL and scary.  I definitely have a breastpump ready incase I face that again with #2.

 

Hmmm..what else..?  Oh I totally recommend the breastfeeding book by Dr. Sears (I also love the parenting book and his website)

 

What does your DH mean when he says 3?  IS that how long he wants you to nurse for or just how long he thinks you actually will?  I guessed that I would nurse anywhere between 1-2 years because that was the norm I had seen in my sisters/sil..  Anyways now at two DS is only nursing once a day in the morning now and for anywhere from one minute to 15.  Usually it's longer if he had a rough night where he was asking for milk but felt denied :(

 

Oh and about those independent toddlers you worked with, wonder if any of them still nighttime nursed?  You might be surprised how many toddlers nurse who you are acquainted with and just wouldn't have guessed and they wouldn't have any reason to tell...

 

AND I noticed a recurring idea in previous posts about how your baby is still your baby even when they get big.  I think It's true.  But I look at it more like, I'm still my boy's moma.  Even as he's getting bigger and venturing out and learning independence he always (or should always) have the security of 'moma'  Something he can rely on when he needs to cheque in just to make sure I'm still here for him so he can muster the courage to go out and explore more of the unknowns!  And I think lots of times that's exactly what toddler nursing/extended nursing does for your growing little one: Gives them a homebase that feels secure so they CAN BE that independent toddler, knowing that there is a safe accepting place to come back to when they need to.  And then they're off again, brave enough to push their independence to a new level :)  Does that makes sense?  

 

Good luck with everything!  

 

and CONGRATULATIONS!!!

 


Edited by sunshinemoma - 5/20/11 at 11:12pm
post #29 of 46



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamadonna View Post




Just visiting from the December DDC.  :)

 

I think most people, possibly even including my dcp, would look at my very independent-looking 3-year old and never guess that he still nurses.  Often, once the child gets older, it is a very private thing.  I've nursed both my boys and worked full time both times.  I pumped for the first year and provided ebm for them at child care during the day.  By the time they hit 12 months (and I was sick to death of pumping at work), I transitioned them to cow's milk during the day, but continued to nurse them at night and on the weekends.  I nursed my first until he was 4, and my 2nd just turned 3 and is still nursing.  But I think the number of people who actually know that I can probably count on one hand (and they mostly live in my house, lol).  It's not that we avoid telling people, it just mostly never comes up.

 



I'm so glad to hear you say this! I will have to return to work f/t when my baby is about 12 weeks old and I really want to nurse and I plan to pump but I was wondering how long I could keep it up. It's good to hear I can stop pumping at some point but still nurse when I'm home (mornings, evenings, nights).

 

post #30 of 46
My heart is just glowing reading all of these stories of mamas nursing into toddlerhood joy.gif

My nursling is 3.5 yrs, and I *never* thought I'd be nursing a preschooler. My original goal was 6 mos, then at 6 mos I switched to a year, and when my baby turned a year old, I realized that it wasn't some magical stopping point - he was still my baby! Now he only nurses for a bit to go to sleep (well, and very rarely if he gets hurt pretty bad), and I know the end is near.

If anyone is interested, I do a series on my blog called "the joys of breastfeeding past infancy." There are some incredible stories on there from mamas who have nursed into toddlerhood and beyond. I am passionate about normalizing bf'ing past infancy! I'd welcome anyone's story, if you feel like sharing one of your own joys smile.gif PM me for the series link and info!

Oh - here's a video I did on toddler nursing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwYbaKUwrcY
And another just for giggles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMvLMXZZsOA
post #31 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by necerj View Post



I think im just scared. I dont know. Its something COMPLETELY new to me. Ive never really talked about it to anybody before...

 

I used to work at a preschool and seeing all the kids there one and 2 years old seeing how independent they are by themselves, it makes me think that they dont need to be breast fed. But then I forget that EVERYONE is different and those parents work A lot and probably just dont have the time. But I will be a stay at home parent, so I will have the time. So I plan on going with the flow
 

 

I am proud of you for coming here to find out!  I have 4 kids.  I wasn't really too into AP with the first 3 and they nursed until they were 14-17 months old.  My youngest is 18 months old and is still nursing.  It's very sweet.  She gives me the milk sign and get the biggest smile when she knows I am saying OK.  You also can remember that when they're older, it isn't like a newborn who must feed on demand.  You can tell them "later".  I am so glad she's nursing because around 14 months, this "eater of anything" got so, so, so picky and barely ate anything.  She still has many days that way.  When we are nursing I have no worries about her getting enough nutrition so it takes away the stress of worrying about that.
 

 

post #32 of 46

With my first, my goal was two years. Then while I was going, I was continuing to learn about breastfeeding and I decided to aim for child-led weaning. My minimum goal will always be two years, no less. My kids were drinking out of cups at 6 months--it has nothing to do with nursing. It's like giving vitamins that are immune-boosting and tailored specifically for the one child. My oldest nursed until she was four and a half. My second is nursing still and she's twenty-seven months.

post #33 of 46

Oh, I wanted to add--if your husband supports you nursing for 3 years, he deserves a high-five! So few men are truly supportive of nursing! I have comforted SO many women who were hurt by their partner's lack of support (or worse, outright opposition). Your husband is AWESOME.

post #34 of 46

I remember people asking me how long I intended to breastfeed when M was little. I would shrug and say, "I dunno, 18 months?" How arbitrary! And people were ALWAYS shocked, thinking this was a long time. Well, of course 18 months came and went, and now I'm pregnant with #2, and we're still nursing at 26 months. Though now it is a difficult relationship, because the milk is almost gone, and M wants to nurse so bad, but isn't satisfied when she is. Except from 4:30am to 7:30am, where she nurses pretty much continuously. Yawn.

post #35 of 46

Go with the flow is a good plan. I nursed one baby nine months, another 18 months and the last one until he was 2.5. I didn't get pregnant right away that time so I just decided to let him go until he was ready. I think it comes down to being such a personal thing between you and your child that it's impossible to predict what you will decide before baby is born. I'm sure if you go into it with an open mind (like it sounds like you're planning to) you will make the right decision for you and your baby.

post #36 of 46

I always plan for at least two years, as recommended by the WHO. DD1 nursed until she was 3, including 6m of tandem nursing with DD2. During my pg, she got down to nursing 1x at night.  DD2 is 3yrs 2m and just weaned, but was seriously very sporadically nursing for the last year. She'd literally go weeks in between nursings, and then just for a few seconds. It was totally a thing that helped her adjust both to her little sister and now the news of the new baby. The 14m old only nurses 2-3x/day and I kind of expect her to self-wean during this pregnancy. And if it is her decision, fine. But I won't encourage anything before 2 at the earliest.

post #37 of 46

My lil guy kinda weaned himself around 18-19 mo? (I did the don't offer/don't refuse the last month or so) I only worked part time, and usually only had to pump 1-3 days a week, depending on schedual. When he was 14 mo, I started working more, so I'd nurse AM and PM, bedtime and sometimes night, but I stopped pumping because he was getting food and regular milk, and I didn't have enough supply to pump enough for him to drink as much as he wanted. Anyway, I was really encouraging sippy at mealtimes, and a bottle only before nap. Then I was getting too tired from the night feeding, so I weaned him from that one myself, so I could get uninterupted sleep. (Nice!) But then my supply really dropped , but at the same time, he was getting to be a really busy toddler, and didn't really want to take time away from playing to get in my lap, and nurse, etc so it just kind of petered out. Quite nice accually, there was no engoregement from doing a full-stop cold turkey weaning.

 

I was ready by then to have my body back to myself. I loved nursing, and for the next babe, I go as long as they want to, but near the end I felt like I wanted my boobs to myself for a while, kwim?

post #38 of 46

Hi! You're in my DDC and so I just ran across your post.  I know you have many many well thought out and well composed replies here but I still thought I would add my two cents even though I have to keep it short.  

Just wanted to say that with my 1st babe I thought I would nurse for a year and then I had the same attitude that you seem to have, that I would just wait and see what happens.  My boy is 2.5 now and we are not weaning any time soon. I'm so happy and so proud to be giving him this time/nutrition/emotional support etc.  I believe it is vital! And wouldn't have it any other way.  Also, FYI a toddler is really not that old, they're really babies in so many ways and they really need their mommies.  Just wanted to encourage you to nurse your baby beyond 4-6 mos.- this time frame is really too short for a baby, they're just not big enough to be eating 100% solid foods (even rice cereal and mush) and formula stinks and should be avoided unless you have no other way to go.  Try it for a year and then reassess.

 

post #39 of 46

Our goal for DD was 3 years, but it seems to me that she's nearly weaned right now at 19 months (Milk is dried up, can only express a tiny drop of colostrum now), but we still nurse dry when she asks, which typically is 1-4 times a day. I'm hoping she picks it back up when the new baby comes because I think tandem nursing is awesome and I still would like to nurse her till at at least 3 (She'll be just past two when the new baby is born)

I won't be redundant and sing the immunological, emotional and physical praises that BFing deserves that have already been posted her, and on top of all that, nursing helps get that baby weight off. In the year PP after I had Lyra, I lost 65 pounds . And I only gained 45 in pregnancy and wasn't overweight to begin with :)

post #40 of 46

I exclusively pumped for DD and my goal was 1 year, but I gave up after 6 months (although my stock pile lasted her well after 6 months).
For DS my goal was until self weaning, which I hoped was going to be around 3 yo, but he went on a nursing strike when hubs returned from deployment.
So with DS I only lasted until between 8 and 9 months.

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