Is There A Way To Prevent A Thread From Being "Featured" on Facebook? - Page 4

[les_oiseau]

Agreeing with the other posters. What is going to happen to the community that has been created over the past 10 years? I lurked around before I signed up, but the reason I signed up is because it felt like the community here had something really rare. Where else is there a long time community of informed and loving mothers who gather together to impart their wisdom to others with encouragement, love, gentileness. At first I agreed with some posters who were saying they were happy about less moderation, feeling like they could post without getting flagged over something slight and silly. And honestly, I haven't seen as many trolls or other weird things as many moms here are saying. But, think about what we as mothers will lose if the dynamic of the site changes, threads and conversations are shared for marketing purposes and many of the long time members and supporters leave? I know I haven't been here as long as many of the moms posting here have been, but in that case you should listen to me all the more when I say that I am not interested in being a part of this community if the above things happen. I am only here because of the community that took 10 or maybe more years to build up.

Maybe there is a need for funding, but don't give up what makes this site what it is for marketing. If you do get it because of higher traffic it won't last without the community.

I agree with the original idea of a different color title, although that won't really make it clear to newer members as to why the color is different, so I think a separate forum for threads that are going to facebook can be posted. That might work better because they mods can start the threads they would like to put on fb or bring up topics they think would bring new members here. If it keeps our other forums safe I'm sure a lot of mamas here would be happy to contribute to those discussions.

Or how about start discussions on fb that people who "like" it ccan talk about there and just keep it separate from mothering. Bring them to the website with links to the articles posted on here, but not the convos.

The other idea that comes to mind is to ask the OP and each person who posted a reply before posting it to fb for permission. I don't think this would work too well so really think the other two are more feasible.

I do realize that by posting to mothering we are giving them our thoughts and words as, basically, their property. Right? They can do whatever they want with it. But it is pretty clear that if mothering is going to act that way many of the people here won't be coming back.

Thank you Cynthia for taking the time to explain what is going on and for asking our opinions! I look forward to hearing what mothering is thinking they should do about this.

[MusicianDad]

Gonna say, because it was brought up in the TAO thread which is now locked. I started posting here understanding that I gave MDC permission to use my posts in the magazine, newsletter, other parts of the website etc... I had no reason to believe they would possibly be using what I wrote on a third party site that I have personally chosen not to use for various reasons. Not everyone sees the little facebook logo and things "hmm maybe I'll go there and see what's up". Plenty of us do not and have not interest in using facebook, and we don't like being told that we have to start visiting there just to find out if a thread we posted in was linked to over there, when we could potentially get in trouble for "disrupting discussions" as per the user agreement.

[philomom]

Twenty four parents have now chimed in to say they would like some kind of tip off as to when MDC is sharing our stuff to Fbook.


Hope there's more willing to speak up.

[*bejeweled*]

When I think of MDC, I do not think of "Facebook" and "Twitter". They just don't vibe. This is extremely disappointing.

[treeoflife3]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad 

Gonna say, because it was brought up in the TAO thread which is now locked. I started posting here understanding that I gave MDC permission to use my posts in the magazine, newsletter, other parts of the website etc... I had no reason to believe they would possibly be using what I wrote on a third party site that I have personally chosen not to use for various reasons. Not everyone sees the little facebook logo and things "hmm maybe I'll go there and see what's up". Plenty of us do not and have not interest in using facebook, and we don't like being told that we have to start visiting there just to find out if a thread we posted in was linked to over there, when we could potentially get in trouble for "disrupting discussions" as per the user agreement.

I agree with this... and honestly?  I have no qualms posting on a thread that is shared on FB.  My only issue is that people should have the right to opt out knowingly before having to head over to FB to see if they are comfortable posting or not.

Of  course there will be other members who can take threads and rip them apart on blogs, other forums, and in more private spaces such as email and IM but I feel there is a difference between members doing something shady and the owners doing something shady.

I guess the best analogy I can think of is a grocery store.  There are store owners, managers, and other employees (that would be the site owners/admin/staff of mothering) and the grocery store customers (the regular/paying members of mdc)  While I can't stop other customers from leaving unwanted food items on the wrong shelves making a mess in the store, I DO expect the owners and employees of the store to keep things organized and nice.  Sure, customers may mix things up but that doesn't mean the store should just be a jumbled mess.

Mothering shouldn't be flinging around threads on third party sites as they please with no warning to it's customers.  It doesn't matter that there are crappy customers who don't care about others' comfort, all that matters is that we can trust the people we are customers to to actually take care of us to their best ability.

[Nazsmum]

MDC was a safe place for hippies like me and I know for so many others! I feel like this is being taken away. If I wanted feed back from fb I would go on it.

[readermaid]

I seem to be in the minority, but I actually like the featured threads on Facebook.   I have limited time online, and a lot of days I only have time to hit Facebook in addition to checking my email or whatever.  So I like to see what's going on on MDC there even if I can't spend as much time here as I used to.

I can understand the worry that personal information might not be kept personal though.  

It is an interesting conversation though.  I was thinking of writing a blog post on a topic that was discussed in an MDC thread, and my initial thought was to link to the thread in my post.  But I wasn't sure if that was cool.  I guess I'll assume it isn't. :)

[beebalmmama]

I'm not happy to hear about his either. I do use facebook, but as another pp mentioned, I'm very clear about what types of topics I will post at MDC vs what I'm willing to talk about on Fbook. Yes MDC is a public forum but made up of fairly like minded and supportive people. Also someone would have to seek out information via google or whatever to come across a conversation. Facebook posts are fairly easy to come across via friends, friends of friends, therefore becoming even more public.

I agree that there should be some kind of opt in/ opt out for this.

[MamieCole]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad 

Gonna say, because it was brought up in the TAO thread which is now locked. I started posting here understanding that I gave MDC permission to use my posts in the magazine, newsletter, other parts of the website etc... I had no reason to believe they would possibly be using what I wrote on a third party site that I have personally chosen not to use for various reasons. Not everyone sees the little facebook logo and things "hmm maybe I'll go there and see what's up". Plenty of us do not and have not interest in using facebook, and we don't like being told that we have to start visiting there just to find out if a thread we posted in was linked to over there, when we could potentially get in trouble for "disrupting discussions" as per the user agreement.

And on the topic of Twitter, I had no idea that was happening. I just looked into it and there have been 8 different threads tweeted by Mothering in just the last 14 hours. 

[*bejeweled*]

I feel sick to my stomach.


And on the topic of Twitter, I had no idea that was happening. I just looked into it and there have been 8 different threads tweeted by Mothering in just the last 14 hours.  [/quote]

[springbride]

I agree that we should have some sort of opt in or opt out feature.  

I have actually been on facebook and seen a thread that I started pop up in the newsfeed from Mothering and I found it to be quite startling.  It wasn't anything personal, just a query about baby-wearing with a toddler & an infant, but I never expected that what I wrote here, would show up on a social networking site that encourages 'casual friends' to know everything about each other.

I keep my facebook friends down to actual close friends and family because for me it is a way to connect with family in other states and overseas.  I definitely do not go there for the reasons I come here.   

 

[robinia]

I lurked around mdc for a long time before deciding to join because there were some aspects of the community that I wasn't crunchy enough for, but I really respected what mdc stood for.  I loved that the site was heavily moderated, as the result was that it was the one place where I could look for parenting advice, whether irl or on the web, and be completely confident I wouldn't be told "just feed formula" or "just smack".  

I'm not a big poster as you can see, but I have still been so disappointed with the changes.  I reported a post some time ago that advocated smacking and nothing happened.  Then there were posts castigating a student mother for being so selfish as to want to bf.  The activity on the site seems to have lowered dramatically - I no longer see the fascinating, long discussions that exposed me to so many new ideas about parenting and loads of familiar names no longer seem to post.  And now I find that there is potential for posts to be put on Facebook, a site to which I have serious ideological objections.  So now I feel like I am too crunchy for Mothering, which, if you knew much about me, is just ridiculous.

I save questions for Mothering that I think that no-one irl could answer for me - questions that are too personal or revealing to ask real life mummy friends, or where the GP would think I'm an idiot, or where I don't know someone who understands GD or AP issues like the wonderful people here.  The relative privacy is very important to me.  The idea that, for example, a question about my son's anxiety problems and his psych's advice could go to Facebook or Twitter, making us much more likely to be recognised, is a huge deterrent.  I now have a big problem to try to solve with my little girl and I'm still trying to get brave enough to ask the question.

Anyway, a practical suggestion.  On another site that I visit, there is a specific section where a staff blogger picks up interesting/inflammatory/newsworthy questions to promote at the top of the forum.  The blogger states that she has sought the OP's express permission before promoting the item.  The blogger provides a suggested answer to the problem with expert input, and then invites conversation; conversation about the question in this section is completely separate from the original discussion and all posters are well aware that they are posting in the top section.  Perhaps this same system could be used here.

[BarefootScientist]

Of course Mothering legally can do this. The point of this thread is that we are asking them not to, at least without letting us know which threads are featured. We're telling them how we'd like to be treated, that's all.

Can anyone who is on fb and twitter tell me whether the same things get posted on both. Oh I suppose I could actually go to the Twitter site and see if I can tell myself. I've never been there.

Edit: Just checked out Twitter. Most of the stuff that goes to fb appears to go to Twitter too, but there are a TON more threads posted to Twitter. I'm not familiar with how Twitter works, so I'm not sure how I feel about that, but there was even threads on there like "daughter not invited to friend's birthday party" which I wouldn't THINK people would want spread around the internet.

[katelove]

Yes it bothers me and I think the thing which bothers me the most is that we weren't warned or told that it was going to happen.

[accountclosed2]

If posts written by me appear on threads on F-book, and I remove the posts from the thread back here, will they still appear on F-book? If that is the case, I'm leaving this Forum. And I will remove every post I've written here, to prevent them appearing on F-book in the future. I feel betrayed.

As I am not on either F-book or Twitter, I cannot check if any of my stuff is there.

[MamieCole]

Originally Posted by AislinCarys 

If posts written by me appear on threads on F-book, and I remove the posts from the thread back here, will they still appear on F-book? If that is the case, I'm leaving this Forum. And I will remove every post I've written here, to prevent them appearing on F-book in the future. I feel betrayed.

No. The links to threads are what are being posted. So in order for someone to see what has been posted, they have to click the link, which brings them directly to the thread at MDC. As far as I know, no thread content has been used in any other capacity. If a thread you have posted on is linked, and someone clicks that link, they will be directed to the actual thread here, at which point they will be able to read your post and the others contained in said thread,  just the same as anyone who visits MDC. 

[Peony]

I didn't know until very recently this was occurring either. I've been mulling it over trying to decide how I really feel about it in light of the other recent changes that had already left me not wanting to visit often anymore. 

 I would like to see an opt- IN button. I do not want a thread of mine posted on FB nor would I choose to reply to a thread that is going to be highlighted. 

[accountclosed2]

Couldn't you just stick a warning on all threads that appear in F-book or twitter or whatever ("Featured on Facebook")? It would certainly help me know to avoid those threads (and to remove any posts I've made on them).

I've started removing posts, but it will take a long time to go through them , time I could have spent doing something useful, like being with my child.

[HappyHappyMommy]

Originally Posted by scsigrl 

I find the Twitter feed even MORE disturbing.  MDC has started to use news like (i.e. inflammatory) "headlines" to grab attention on Twitter.  I seriously think they are trying to start stuff by what they are picking to feature.

I agree that there should be an opt out somehow.  Since things have changed so dramatically since getting rid of the magazine and trying to go all web, common sense has been lost. 

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 
I just have a problem with the fact that I just found out. Again, about the name change. If I could change my name to be more anonymous I wouldnt care as much. There are a lot of changes going on at MDC that Im more worried about than whether or not the public can see our public forums. I just think if we are going to be pimped out for the sake of advertising or drawing people in, we should at least be able to change our names to be more anonymous.

I agree.

Originally Posted by *bejeweled* 

I don't participate in Facebook for a number of reasons. MDC should ask my permission before they feature one of my threads on Facebook.

 

Originally Posted by Arduinna 

I was extremely unhappy to learn that MDC has been posting threads from here on facebook and twitter. I'm going to be limiting what I post here even more than I have in the past now. 

If I wanted to post something on facebook or twitter I'd make an account and post it there. 

Originally Posted by provocativa 

Another voice who doesn't appreciate this linking.  It feels like a violation because it is one. 

...

I would prefer to be able to opt out of having any of my posts appear on FB, not just be notified that threads are being used on FB. 

Originally Posted by philomom 

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan 

That said, I do like the idea of threads being color coded so people who are concerned can have a choice.

Thanks. That's what I'm getting at. As someone who is anti-Fbook... I should have a choice as to whether or not my words and ideas end up over there. MDC used to be big on "choices".

Originally Posted by Arduinna 

I think facebook threads should have their own forum so we all know that is where they will be posted, and they need to originate in that forum. Lets have the choice to have our posts there or not. 

I think this is better than color coding.

Originally Posted by AislinCarys 

I am shocked at this, but glad to find out. I am not on f-book, and do not wish to have anything of mine featured there (actually not on Twitter either, or any other site except Mothering). Now I will start going trough all the threads I've posted on , and remove stuff. And I'll be very careful about what I post here in the future. My handle isn't easily recognized, and I am careful what I post that may be too identifiable. But that doesn't mean that plenty of people couldn't work out who I am just by the content of posts I've written.

I have loved Mothering, and loved this forum. I received so much help and support when DD was newborn, and later too, and I hope I've been helping others. But Mothering has been a safe world for me. F-book I don't trust, at all.

Originally Posted by beebalmmama 

I'm not happy to hear about his either. I do use facebook, but as another pp mentioned, I'm very clear about what types of topics I will post at MDC vs what I'm willing to talk about on Fbook. Yes MDC is a public forum but made up of fairly like minded and supportive people. Also someone would have to seek out information via google or whatever to come across a conversation. Facebook posts are fairly easy to come across via friends, friends of friends, therefore becoming even more public.

I agree that there should be some kind of opt in/ opt out for this.

And I strongly prefer an "opt-in."

Originally Posted by MamieCole 

And on the topic of Twitter, I had no idea that was happening. I just looked into it and there have been 8 different threads tweeted by Mothering in just the last 14 hours. 

 UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by *bejeweled* 

I feel sick to my stomach.


And on the topic of Twitter, I had no idea that was happening. I just looked into it and there have been 8 different threads tweeted by Mothering in just the last 14 hours.  [/quote]
 

UGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Originally Posted by springbride 

I agree that we should have some sort of opt in or opt out feature.  

 

 

Originally Posted by robinia 

I lurked around mdc for a long time before deciding to join because there were some aspects of the community that I wasn't crunchy enough for, but I really respected what mdc stood for.  I loved that the site was heavily moderated, as the result was that it was the one place where I could look for parenting advice, whether irl or on the web, and be completely confident I wouldn't be told "just feed formula" or "just smack".  

I'm not a big poster as you can see, but I have still been so disappointed with the changes.  I reported a post some time ago that advocated smacking and nothing happened.  Then there were posts castigating a student mother for being so selfish as to want to bf.  The activity on the site seems to have lowered dramatically - I no longer see the fascinating, long discussions that exposed me to so many new ideas about parenting and loads of familiar names no longer seem to post.  And now I find that there is potential for posts to be put on Facebook, a site to which I have serious ideological objections.  So now I feel like I am too crunchy for Mothering, which, if you knew much about me, is just ridiculous.

 

Originally Posted by robinia 

Anyway, a practical suggestion.  On another site that I visit, there is a specific section where a staff blogger picks up interesting/inflammatory/newsworthy questions to promote at the top of the forum.  The blogger states that she has sought the OP's express permission before promoting the item.  The blogger provides a suggested answer to the problem with expert input, and then invites conversation; conversation about the question in this section is completely separate from the original discussion and all posters are well aware that they are posting in the top section.  Perhaps this same system could be used here.

This is one potential option, but I prefer the "opt-in"

Originally Posted by katelove 

Yes it bothers me and I think the thing which bothers me the most is that we weren't warned or told that it was going to happen.

Absolutely agreed! This is very disappointing.

Originally Posted by AislinCarys 

If posts written by me appear on threads on F-book, and I remove the posts from the thread back here, will they still appear on F-book? If that is the case, I'm leaving this Forum. And I will remove every post I've written here, to prevent them appearing on F-book in the future. I feel betrayed.

As I am not on either F-book or Twitter, I cannot check if any of my stuff is there.

Originally Posted by Peony 

I didn't know until very recently this was occurring either. I've been mulling it over trying to decide how I really feel about it in light of the other recent changes that had already left me not wanting to visit often anymore. 

 I would like to see an opt- IN button. I do not want a thread of mine posted on FB nor would I choose to reply to a thread that is going to be highlighted. 

Yes to the earlier comment about the changes. And yes, yes, yes to the Opt-IN button.

[BarefootScientist]

Originally Posted by AislinCarys 

If posts written by me appear on threads on F-book, and I remove the posts from the thread back here, will they still appear on F-book? If that is the case, I'm leaving this Forum. And I will remove every post I've written here, to prevent them appearing on F-book in the future. I feel betrayed.

As I am not on either F-book or Twitter, I cannot check if any of my stuff is there.

You can actually. At least Twitter, I was just there. Just go to twitter.com and search for mothering, it will pull up their feed and you can see what threads they have linked. On facebook I think you will probably be able to see it too. Mothering's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/mothering.magazine

And like someone else mentioned, it is a link TO the thread. So people can comment about it on facebook, for example, but in order to see your posts, they have to click through here to mothering.com.