High Need Baby = High Need Toddler?

[Melly24]

DS is 6.5 months old, and classic high needs. He's intense about EVERYTHING, and is very rarely content. He cries a lot, screams/squeals a lot and fusses a lot. He completely wears me out every single day. He's lucky he's so handsome 

Does a high needs babe, always mean a high needs toddler? Those with spirited toddlers, how are they high needs now (or not)?

[~cassie]

My nearly 4 yr olD has been high needs since birth. As a baby he needed constant attention and was a grumpy baby. I kept expecting it to get better as he hit milestones. Oh once he can sit up he won't be as fussy, when he can walk it will be better, when he can communicate(he's deaf) it will get better. He's no longer fussy but he is extremely strong willed and demanding/difficult. It's been hard to raise him but we do have lots of good days thrown in.

[tjjazzy]

ds2 is still very much high needs. very strong willed. ds1 was colicky at the start just like ds2 was (but it lasted 5 months with ds2) but is very easygoing now so you never know.

[physmom]

DD was high needs as a baby and I think every 3 months or so I've noticed a drastic change in her behavior.  She's going to be 2.5 in a couple of months and is still a very stubborn girl but I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing.

For DD all her major milestones (especially the movement ones) have made our lives significantly easier. Things like sitting up on her own, crawling, walking, talking etc made her much happier because she's always been someone who wants to explore on her own and ask for what she wants.  Now that she can communicate well she's infinitely happier. 

She still isn't necessarily an "easy" kid but there's no comparison to her younger days (she still has separation anxiety).  I'll take the tantrums any day over the constant fussiness and no sleep  (oh, and she DOES sleep through the night even it took her until she was over 2 to do that). 

[Bokonon]

DD was a high needs baby and is a high needs toddler, but not nearly as challenging as when she was an infant, and I would even hesitate to label her high needs at this age.  She is destructive, demanding, dramatic, and has trouble when she doesn't have instant gratification - but these things are not all that different from a typical toddler.  She's just MORE, kwim?

However, she is very bright and has a great sense of humor, even at 2.  And she's much sweeter and snuggly than I expected she would be when she was an infant.

[boobs4milk]

my two 'challenging children' were high needs as babies and as toddlers.  the oldest is a high needs teen (and mama to be, OY), and the youngest is wearing me out every minute of the day, almost 20 years later!!!  it was MUCH easier when i was 20, lol!  it's like EVERYTHING she does is intense.  when she's being a pill, she's REALLY wearing on my nerves but when she's being cute or smart, it's like, mind-blowing how awesome she is.  there is no middle ground whatsoever with her!

[grethel]

My toddler followed the typical "when she can do (blank) she'll mellow out" pattern. She was a very fussy, demanding infant who always wanted to be held/worn. She had silent reflux, and diagnosis and treatment made a difference in her behavior - but she was still grumpy and exhausting. She really, really wanted to be mobile. As soon as she was pulling herself up and cruising around furniture around 6 months, she was more content... and walking improved her temperament exponentially. At 18 months, I would say she isn't exactly mellow - she's very active, very communicative, and still likes to be involved in everything - but as far as fussiness goes, there's hardly any. When she's not confined, she's a very happy kid.

My first DD, weirdly enough, followed an opposite pattern. She was a very laid-back baby - great eater, great sleeper, happy to sit and watch the world go by. Then around age 3 she developed serious separation anxiety, night terrors, and a very demanding, emotional temperament. At 13 she is still a pretty demanding, intense kid.

So - who knows. They're all unique.

[Melly24]

Originally Posted by Bokonon 

DD was a high needs baby and is a high needs toddler, but not nearly as challenging as when she was an infant, and I would even hesitate to label her high needs at this age.  She is destructive, demanding, dramatic, and has trouble when she doesn't have instant gratification - but these things are not all that different from a typical toddler.  She's just MORE, kwim?

However, she is very bright and has a great sense of humor, even at 2.  And she's much sweeter and snuggly than I expected she would be when she was an infant.

This is my DD  But she was a very chilled out easy baby and developed into all of the above. I like to think it's because we allowed her to be who she is. She was very challenging between 16 months - 3 years, but now,....wow she's amazing.

Thanks for all the replies. 

[justKate]

My DD was AWFUL for the first 18 mos. of her life. There's no getting around it or making it prettier than it was.

That being said, the twos have been a breeze by comparison. Potty trained in an instant, STTN (finally!), has manners, etc.  I barely recognize her.  Some days are bad, of course, but they're nothing like the first year.  I sort of laugh at people calling it the terrible twos--I lived that hell for the first two years but luckily have escaped it so far.

A lot of people mentioned waiting for milestones with the hope that it would calm their HN baby.  For DD, it was learning to communicate.  Baby sign language helped some, but verbal communication has made all the difference. Hopefully its the same for you!