Need help with 3-year-old, PLEASE!! :-(

[JSage79]

Hi, everyone.  I'm new here, and I really need some advice! I have four kids and I am pregnant with #5. My youngest son, Andrew, just turned 3 a few weeks ago. He has had sleep issues for as long as I can remember. Our current problem (that is not new, but I can't recall exactly how long it has been going on) is that he does not want to sleep without me or daddy. He has THREE siblings and we have tried all combinations of roommate arrangements- 2 per room, 3 in one room & 1 in another, all 4 in one room! None of these satisfies him. The ONLY way he will go to sleep without screaming his head off is if my husband or I lays down with him until he falls asleep. And even then, without fail, he WILL come to our room in the middle of the night and climb into bed with me. I used to co-sleep with him when he was younger, but now it just doesn't work for us. He is a very restless sleeper, and he keeps me up with all his kicking, etc. Also, I have to sleep in these weird positions to accommodate him, and I end up waking up with pulled muscles. Another reason he can't sleep with us, is that my husband snores LOUDLY and it disturbs Andrew's sleep. (I wear earplugs, it's that bad.)

Another aspect of this situation is that he is still nursing, and he is very addicted! He would nurse all day and night if I would let him. This comes into play at bedtime, and in the middle of the night as well. :-P To be perfectly honest, I'm really ready for him to wean. This is the longest I've ever nursed a kid, and I feel I've put in my time! As I said earlier, I am pregnant, and I really need a little break before it starts all over again! But I digress...

We really think he's old enough at this point to stay in his own bed all night. And it's not like we're asking him to sleep alone! He has his brothers and sister. He is a VERY stubborn child, though. No, that doesn't cover it, actually. They need to invent a new word for what he is! :-P
Example: Tonight my husband 'put his foot down' and insisted we try it 'his way'. We put the kids to bed (they're all in the same room), and left, and locked the door. Andrew SCREAMED and banged on the door for almost TWO HOURS until he finally passed out. And I have no doubt he will be up in a few hours, screaming and hitting one of his siblings until they cave and let him out, so he can come to me.

SO! Clearly you can see that this is a BAD situation for all involved! We NEED to fix this! I hope and PRAY that someone out there has the answer, b/c this *cannot* go on...
Thanks...

[Jenni1894]

When my son was 18 mos he climbed out of his crib twice in the middle of the night.  So we took it down and he slept on the mattress on the floor.  I would have to put him to bed and lay with him till he fell asleep.   Then the next week,  I sat 2 feet away from him, then moved to the doorway, then outside the closed bedroom door.   It took me about a month or so of this and he was able to fall asleep on his own.   Then about 2 he would wake up in the middle of the night and come in with us.   Then I got pg and told him he needed to sleep in his room b/c my belly took up a lot of room, and he was a big boy and it would help mommy a lot if I could get a good night's sleep and I would have lots of good energy to play with him.   It didn't quite work.   He wasn't nursing, but he got the idea and moved onto the floor.  I can't tell you how many nights I'd wake up and trip over him on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.   Then I thought I'd make him "tickets" We made a big to-do about creating "tickets" out of construction paper and decorated them.  The point was for him to use these tickets to be able to sleep w/us.    He was supposed to wake me up, give it to me and he got 15 mins of cuddling.   That didn't quite work either b/c I'd still trip over him in the middle of the night or find him on the edge of the bed and I'd find the ticket on my dresser.   lol  He wouldn't wake me up..just put it on my dresser.   Stinker.    I offered rewards, sticker charts, toys from the prize bag....ice cream for breakfast even (desperate times call for desperate measures). Then one day it just clicked with him...he went a whole week in his own bed all night.   I threw a big party for him (well it was just us).  We had pancakes and bacon his fav and I even blew up a few balloons.   Yeah, I was that happy to get a good nights rest.  I was 8 mos preggo and sharing a full size bed w/DH. 

So I guess my advice is just be consistant with him on sleeping in his own bed and explaining the baby needs room, plus the baby will need to sleep w/mommy and Daddy for a while b/c it needs to eat and how you are sure he doesn't want to be woken up in the middle of the night by a crying baby!!  It will click with him.   And it will get better.  DS is 7 now and he only sneaks in maybe once a month.   But now  2 kids, 4 years, school and a king size bed...I don't mind the cuddle time with my little man. 

[Jend1002]

I offered rewards, sticker charts, toys from the prize bag....ice cream for breakfast even (desperate times call for desperate measures). Then one day it just clicked with him...he went a whole week in his own bed all night.   I threw a big party for him (well it was just us).  We had pancakes and bacon his fav and I even blew up a few balloons.   Yeah, I was that happy to get a good nights rest.  I was 8 mos preggo and sharing a full size bed w/DH. 

Gotta say - I love all of this!  I have a slightly different problem, but the ice cream for breakfast thing may just be the desperate measure I have been missing.  I hear you on desperate times and sleep is most definitely party-worthy.

[Ellien C]

I'm currently offering my 8 yo downloads of Justin Beiber music to stay in her bed, so I have no advice, just a LOT of sympathy.