i have 4.5 month old son and I like my peds lady quite a lot, she has been kind and loving to my twins and is clearly supportive of my intact son though we have not talked that much about it. She has seen my babies 3 times. She is also young and not the most experienced doc.
I feel like i missed my window to casually bring up and clarify that she is not to retract my son in any way what so ever. She never has of course, but the more i read about docs doing it "just a little" or "to see how far it goes" and not calling what they are doing retracting, i'm getting terrified that this will happen to my boy.
So my babies are seeing her this after noon and i need to bring it up, and i just dont know how without sounding like i have some reason to mistrust her and i really dont. i thought i could say "this happened to a friend, so i'm just checking that you of course know not to do this..." but it sounds contrived and i worry that it will cause a feeling of mistrust between us. Im sure there is a good way to talk about this. i just dont know how, specially after already seeing her 3 times, it would have been a lot easier if we had interviewed her (we didn't we got assigned to her) or if we had said it before his diaper came off the very first time.
i feel it needs more than a mention just in passing, considering the repetitive reports i read about problems and retraction happening because of a difference in semantics. i feel like i need her to really hear that if she wants me to trust her to touch my boy, she needs to be able to say to me that she understands and agrees with the medical problem that could be caused by any pulling back of the foreskin and that she will never do it for any reason. and that if she really feels like she does have a reason that she will bring that up with me, rather than just do anything on her own.
please help me word this and keep my healthy respectful relationship with this doctor