I was a sahm for awhile, then went back to work full-time. Having tried it both ways (multiple times, with various jobs) I think that being a sahm is much easier than my old job was. I quit my job in early May, but it feels like forever ago now. I was so completely stressed out, tired, guilty, exhausted, and just all around a major jerk because I was just overwhelmed. It was hard as all get out to work the schedule I did (more than full-time) and take care of the kids. I literally wouldn't see my kids for days at a time. I went a week without seeing my youngest except when she was sleeping. Finally I broke the cycle of not seeing her by waking her up when I got home. It was horrible. I bought my kids stuff all the time because I was so guilty about not being there for them.
Now that I'm staying at home again, for the present anyway, the pressure is off. Sure, there are some things that have to be done at certain times but it is so completely different. I felt like I was running through life, barely having time to see what was going on around me. Now, we can take our time when we want to. I know what is going on at school. I can finally breathe again. My kids see me and know me again.
That isn't to say that it isn't difficult at times. Everything has difficult moments. When all three of my dc are screaming at the same time, do I wish I could just quiet them like I would a group of employees being too loud? Sure. And I sometimes think fondly of how I'd lock myself in my office with a snack and read without anyone interrupting me. That rarely happens now.
But I wouldn't term this a job. First off, no one pays me. I'm not forced to do anything I don't want to do. I have the right to make my own moral decisions, not just blindly follow company policies. In my home, I make the rules. Meaning, if I want to spend a day in my pajamas, vegging out with the kids, I do it. And when I feel like being super productive, I do that. I couldn't make those kind of decisions at work and I was the "boss". I had rules to follow, people to answer to, deadlines to meet. So I take this as I feel it is, I get the choice to be a sahm. The freedom to make that choice. I am doing what I was so envious of while I worked. I am actually getting to live my life with my children, as opposed to going at full speed from one appointment to the next, measuring time in deadlines. I am super happy and just can not really put this in the same category as something that I'd require someone to pay me in order for me to do it.
Also, I totally get the husband part of it. If your husband doesn't like his job, he probably really envies you. My husband was home for awhile while I worked. I hated that he knew everything about the kids and I knew nothing. And even though I'd stayed at home before that and knew what a day was like with the kids, I would fall into the trap of "what did you do all day?" It just seemed like he should have the apartment clean, kids tucked in, dinner ready... And all that is coming from someone who had already been the sahp. I imagine my attitude would likely have been worse had I never been through it. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't pleasant, and I am not at all claiming that it was acceptable. But it is honest. When you have a crappy job and envy that your spouse isn't in that situation, it is hard to look at something like staying at home and say it is harder than working and parenting. Not at all to say that its cool if he's taking out his job woes on you, just saying, it is a difficult situation to be in.