Do you allow toy guns in your home? - Page 3

[mamakah]

We are pretty anti gun (real or toy) so we don't buy gun toys for DS.  I remember having play guns as a kid, but I feel that DS is growing in a different time than I did. When I was a kid, you never heard of school/mall/office shootings.  Gun violence wasn't such a big issue as it is today.

We won't ever buy toy guns-or real for that matter-for DS BUT he is going to take gun safety classes. Why? Because we realize that there is a very good chance that he will come across a gun in his life, at friend's houses...whatever. We want him to know how dangerous a gun is and how to handle one. 

When DH was in 2nd grade he found his step dad's gun under the bed.  He brought it to school the next day to show his friends-luckily a kid who had taken gun safety courses knew how dangerous that was and went and told a teacher. They treated DH like a criminal-like he brought it to school to hurt someone. :( Really, he was just a little boy who thought guns were toys and brought it to school-he had no idea what he was doing. Absolutely terrifying.

I don't want DS to be that clueless should a situation like that arise.

[melin]

No guns. My son is three and has no interest in playing with guns with his fingers, sticks or whatnot. He wasn't taught to do that and has no interest in it.

Like others I don't view guns as a toy. I see their purpose as a means of violence. That just isn't what we teach or condone in our family. My sibling and father are avid hunters and NRA members with houses full of guns. My sister in law actually pulled her gun on her own son, "by accident." I have no respect for that kind of behavior. My father's love of guns is slightly different. It's not a macho thing, but a collector's thing. That being said, it's their choice. I grew up with them and chose to have a family without them.

Should my son come to me at a later date, when he is older, and want to learn to target shoot, of his own accord. Then I will revisit my stance. At this point all the acting out would be to shoot things/animals/people and that is not something our family wants instilled on any level.

[mamaboss]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Bratton 

What I got from that is that she meant guns can be used for hobby and recreation purposes. I don't get the 'guns have one purpose' thing. No, they have several. Home defense, hunting, and recreational target shooting, to name a few. My husband has the largest size gun safe you can own stocked with well over 20 guns. He has his conceal to carry license and is a very responsible gun owner. He has taught me about gun safety and I also grew up with a father who was a hunter/gun enthusiast. I don't think I have ever lived in a home without a gun. My husband and I have one gun intended for home defense and we would have no problem using it for it's intended purpose if need be. That said, most of his guns are for recreational target shooting, as he is not a hunter at all. So, idk about other people but ours have way more than one purpose. And, I can see what she meant by 'toys', recreational objects, but that wouldn't be my choice of words b/c they are not something to he handled lightly AT ALL.

Thanks, yes perhaps my wording wasn't the best but I'm glad a few people understood what I meant, that guns do have many purposes and pure recreation is absolutely one of them.

I think this is one of those cases where we are each choosing what is best for our families and what works for one may not work for another, but that doesn't necessarily mean any of us is "right". I feel I am making the best decision for my daughter by educating her about guns and those who choose not to allow guns are doing what they believe is best as well. I respect the different perspectives on this topic and understand that I am most likely in the minority among parents in general, mainstream or otherwise. But I don't think that letting my child shoot a gun is going to turn her into a killer down the road nor do I think the child who was never allowed a toy gun is going to be completely nonviolent. 

 

[Aliyahsmommy]

I read through the responses as I wasn't sure what my stance was as I still wavered as how to handle the situation. I always said I would never let my kids play with any guns, but the other day my 3 year old was at a friend's and they brought toy guns out and I didn't take it away from her. I'm kind of wishing I had though.

I am thinking along with another response I read that we will never own any toy guns in our house of any sort, but if my son makes some out of legos etc then I would feel okay with that. I also would make the rule of no pretend shooting people, but they can pretend to shoot at objects. I love the idea of a gun safety course also!

As for what to do or say if my child sees one at someone's house I'm unsure how to approach that. On one had I do not want it to be like the forbidden fruit or for my child to feel left out, but on the other hand I just do not like the idea of playing with guns at other's homes because who knows if that gun will be a real gun someday. How to get that point across with my child is a whole other story. I suppose by the time my child is ready for unsupervised play at someone's house, he/she might also be old enough for an important conversation about guns, hopefully:)

[mamaboss]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ .

FYI, im probably the closest member of MDC to mainstream parenting there is.  Other then the abundance of trolls around here lately.  I feel like were being invaded. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

Seriously...I was wondering the same thing myself...what is going on with MDC?!
 

Maybe it's because didn't it used to be you had to be a subscriber to the magazine to gain access to MDC but now anyone can? Just a guess. 

[csekywithlove]

I didn't really want DSS to play with guns. Where we live hunting and fishing are an integral part of our community. I pretty much bit the bullet (haha, but really) when my sister in law bought a toy gun for DSS. We tell him not to point it at people and he loves acting like a cowboy. He watches Western all the time with my dad. He says, "Don't shoot people, don't shoot horses." But I find the toy gun to be like any other toy. He may play with it one week twice and then forget it for a month. DH and I already agree that gun safety will be taught to all of our children in the future. To me it's important for a child to understand that guns are dangerous. Period. But I don't want my child to fear a gun or anything for that matter. 

[Phoenix~Mama]

I didn't read all replies...

I think this topic is very regional I think.  I think people who grew up/live in the city will have very varying opinions from people who grew up in/live in the country.

And this is something I've been actually thinking on and off about as I have a DS.  My father, grandfather, future FIL, and several of our close family friends are all hunters.  I live in an area that is BIG into hunting... like, I think some schools around here still close for the first day of buck and doe season and it's not uncommon for majority of the boys to be absent for that week of class for first week of hunting season.  No, I'm not kidding... I live in redneck-ville.  ;-)

So, I grew up around guns.  We had hunting rifles locked up in the house.  My Dad and future FIL have already mentioned about taking DS hunting when he is old enough.  I have a ton of mixed feelings on this and get this panicked feeling in my throat.  I know that before I'm okay with that, I will have to first make myself go through gun safety classes and be present for all of DS's gun saftey training.  I just don't think I will feel comfortable before then.

With that said... I like water guns.  They are fun.  My sisters and I always had a collection of water guns and would have water fights in the backyard.  I never ever once equated a toy water gun with a real gun.  I knew there was a MAJOR difference.

I was also around toy guns (rifles) due to living in a huge hunting area.  All my boy cousins had them, and I had male friends as well that had them, and my youngest sister even had one as she asked for one the one Christmas.  These don't look real at all in my opinion and I think I will be okay with those.  And the western style toy ones that also do not look like the real thing at all.

So I guess, writing this all out I found my line... toy guns will be okay as long as they are the chintzy non-real looking things.  It's going to take me a long time to get comfortable with the real thing... but I know with the area I live in, it's something I'm going to have to grapple with sooner or later, especially come 4th grade or so and DS's friends all go hunting with their Dads/granddads.  It's just a total culture here.  Parents beam with pride when their DS brings home their first deer. 

So yeah... I think it's a very regional dependent opinion.  No right or wrong.  We each have very valid reasons for the way we feel.

[Phoenix~Mama]

Originally Posted by mamaboss 

Maybe it's because didn't it used to be you had to be a subscriber to the magazine to gain access to MDC but now anyone can? Just a guess. 

Actually, anyone could join before.  I joined LONG before I ever bought an issue of mothering, and the only reason I had an issue when I did get one was because I paid for s subscriber package to the message boards that included a subscription to the magazine.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by mamaboss 

Maybe it's because didn't it used to be you had to be a subscriber to the magazine to gain access to MDC but now anyone can? Just a guess. 

no, even before the crash you didn't have to be a subscriber to post. But the forum was a lot smaller, with less posters and less subject areas. 

[Ldavis24]

this isn't at anyone in particular but why is that hunting and guns are associated with hicks/rednecks/whatever you want to call them...

I think choosing to learn how to hunt and provide for the family as well as how to handle guns properly is a good thing no matter who you are...The association with hicks/rednecks just makes people sound less intelligent....

[Storm Bride]

Yes - we allow toy guns, of whatever kind the kids want to play with. I always have. DS1 had about 5-6 toy guns, although his first love was (and still is) swords, not guns. I'm not sure if ds2 has any, or not - one or two of ds1's old ones are still around, though.

Guns simply aren't an issue to me. There is not "why" I allow it, in the sense the OP means. To me, it's like asking me why I allow crayons or frisbees or beads or bikes or Lego or Hot Wheels or...whatever. It's a complete non-issue to me.

[Ldavis24]

I really look forward to the days when DD and DH and I can have all out water gun wars and absolutely SHOOT each other...I fully expect DD to shoot the heck out of me! Ahh memories of running around like maniacs with my cousins shooting each other, or more accurately spraying each other with water guns all summer...I couldn't deprive DD of that.

[mamazee]

So a question, for people who are really opposed to toy guns. Do you think playing with toy guns makes kids grow into more violent people? Squirt guns too?

[Phoenix~Mama]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

this isn't at anyone in particular but why is that hunting and guns are associated with hicks/rednecks/whatever you want to call them...

I think choosing to learn how to hunt and provide for the family as well as how to handle guns properly is a good thing no matter who you are...The association with hicks/rednecks just makes people sound less intelligent....

I don't really associate redneck with less intelligent.  It's a term I own, because where I grew up, yeah I'm considered red neck.  Just very country with where and how I grew up.  But I also don't think red-neck means just hunting... For me personally, I used it to describe my area of where I live, it is stero-typical red-neck.  Lots of pick-up trucks, the gross habit of chewing is big here, a lot of "boys club" bars, and yes, hunting is a part of it, but hunting in itself isn't neccessarily red-neck... but in my area... I think it is under the red-neck classification that a lot of the hunting that goes on takes place on people's back porches for red squirrels, bats, ground hogs... other pesky animals.  lol 

I still won't forget how hard I laughed when my Mom got so fed up with a groundhog eating her strawberry garden that she took out the rifle and shot it through the window screen on our stair landing.  That's red-neck.  *giggles*

Oh yeah... we also left out beer and beef jerky for Santa as well as cookies.  ;-)  That's a thing here.

And I consider myself to be fairly intelligent. But I can't deny my red-neck roots.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama 

I don't really associate redneck with less intelligent.  It's a term I own, because where I grew up, yeah I'm considered red neck.  Just very country with where and how I grew up.  But I also don't think red-neck means just hunting... For me personally, I used it to describe my area of where I live, it is stero-typical red-neck.  Lots of pick-up trucks, the gross habit of chewing is big here, a lot of "boys club" bars, and yes, hunting is a part of it, but hunting in itself isn't neccessarily red-neck... but in my area... I think it is under the red-neck classification that a lot of the hunting that goes on takes place on people's back porches for red squirrels, bats, ground hogs... other pesky animals.  lol 

I still won't forget how hard I laughed when my Mom got so fed up with a groundhog eating her strawberry garden that she took out the rifle and shot it through the window screen on our stair landing.  That's red-neck.  *giggles*

Oh yeah... we also left out beer and beef jerky for Santa as well as cookies.  ;-)  That's a thing here.

And I consider myself to be fairly intelligent. But I can't deny my red-neck roots.

I grew up in Maine, we don't have rednecks we have hicks! I guess I was feeling sensitive because yeah it was my life too and my people too...They aren't less intelligent but apparently somewhere along the line I personally allowed those words to develop negative connotations with lack of intelligence...which is purely my own problem...

Although I know I'm not imaging it when some people use those words to imply less intelligence than your average non redneck/non hick...

Oh and your mom sounds awesome...my cousins used to shoot squirrels from their window and then get them, skin them and roast them over an open flame!

[xzaviers_mama]

We started out as a family that was absolutely against any type of toy guns.  We stuck with that for a good 5 years or so.  At DS's 4th birthday, someone gave him action figures that had guns, so I threw the guns away, and let him have the figures.  Some time around then, he started making "guns" out of everything.  He'd chew his bread into a gun, build one with legos, use a stick... it didn't matter.  I worked in daycares before I ever had kids, and was very familiar with how little boys could make guns out of darn near anything.

I suppose it was at that point that I became a little more open to the idea.  I was done trying to fight him, and I felt like I was making a big deal out of the whole thing, which just made him want it more.  My grandma also pointed out to me that every other male in our family grew up playing "cowboys & indians", or "cops & robbers", and NONE of them grew up to think that shooting another person was okay.  

We're also a vegan family, and my 2 older boys (ages 7 & 3) are extremely compassionate.  They saw a hunting type video game once, and were both very sad that the guy playing was shooting at animals.  When they're running around the backyard, squirting each other with water guns, I don't think they're planning out how they're going to shoot up their highschool later in life... kwim?

I can very clearly see both sides of this issue, as I've been on both.  Sometimes, when my kids make a "gun" with their fingers out in public, I regret my decision... but that's because I'm afraid of what other mamas may be thinking about me...lol.

[Momofplenty]

Sorry, no, my husband's brother. He had turned 24 the week before. I also believe in stricter laws for who can/should own guns...thats a whole different discussion though.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Bratton 

What I got from that is that she meant guns can be used for hobby and recreation purposes. I don't get the 'guns have one purpose' thing. No, they have several. Home defense, hunting, and recreational target shooting, to name a few.

No, those are the contexts in which they can be used.  Their purpose is to kill some living thing.  Home defense is killing a living thing to protect yourself.  Hunting is killing a living thing to eat (hopefully... I shudder to think people here would do it for sport).  And target shooting is nothing but the practice arena to make sure that when you pull the trigger you DO kill that thing you are aiming at.  That's not recreation.  I don't have any problem with hunting for food and I'm not a vegetarian.  But saying that guns are fun is kind of sick IME.  Taking the life of any living thing isn't "fun", even if it's for sustenance.

[waiting2bemommy]

I started out being 100% anti guns, but then this past Chrsitmas ds' friend got a really cool Nerf gun. The kids were having such a good time playing with it and ds begged for one, so a few months later I got him a smaller one. He doesn't even play with it that much, honestly. Our rule is that you may not shoot people and you may not be destructive with it (knocking things over with the darts/bullets, or saying terribly violent things). He mostly just shoots at his window, or the doorknob. When it's him and his friend playing, they shoot at each other and I live with it. I'm ok with nerf guns and water squirter types of things, but I would not be ok with a real looking toy gun. Nor do I think it's necessary to get a "semi-automatic fully reloadable dual holder" water gun that costs $30. If you want to squirt water, go to the dollar store or get yourself an old dish soap bottle. It's over the top imo to give kids guns, even water guns, that pretty much look exactly like something a SWAT guy would be carrying.

We live in an area where people do have guns for self defense (and unfortunately some young boys have them to be "cool"), but people do also go hunting out in the country. At one point SO and I considered getting a pistol for self defense because we were dealing with some serious threats on our lives and pertaining to our kids' safety. Ds has seen real guns before and he knows the difference and that they are never to be touched, EVER. So....I'm sort of middle of the road.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by velochic 

No, those are the contexts in which they can be used.  Their purpose is to kill some living thing.  Home defense is killing a living thing to protect yourself.  Hunting is killing a living thing to eat (hopefully... I shudder to think people here would do it for sport).  And target shooting is nothing but the practice arena to make sure that when you pull the trigger you DO kill that thing you are aiming at.  That's not recreation.  I don't have any problem with hunting for food and I'm not a vegetarian.  But saying that guns are fun is kind of sick IME.  Taking the life of any living thing isn't "fun", even if it's for sustenance.

Honestly you are mincing words because what you are describing is STRICTLY recreation to many MANY people...Many people who target shoot aren't EVER going to kill something so yeah it is for FUN...

Just because you personally don't WANT it to be recreation doesn't make it not recreation...And yeah shooting can be fun. Sorry but it is....Shooting an animal isn't "fun" but it is rewarding in ways you can't understand unless you have killed something yourself and then eaten that thing...

Your own personal objections to people using these words, and your own personal objections to guns, is making it hard for you to accept that your definition of shooting and gun use and what is and isn't ok to say about it is incredibly narrow...very very narrow... Guns are fun for a lot of people who don't even kill animals ever. I don't think it's sick at all. 

It is frustrating when people take their own personal objections about an activity and twist that activity into something horrible/wrong or in your words SICK.
 

Edited by Ldavis24 - 5/20/11 at 3:05pm