I have 3 little boys (7, 3 and 20 months), and I'm just at a loss for what to do with my youngest. My oldest was a really laid back toddler, and was generally just a happy, mellow guy. My second son was a little more "wild", and went through a definite fit throwing/hitting type phase, but he was also generally a happy kid. However, I feel like my youngest is just miserable 90% of the time. I feel like this started about 3 months ago now... He hits CONSTANTLY, and it's to the point where everyone flinches when he raises a hand. We always do the thing where we hold his hand and help him to "pet" us, while saying "nice touches", or "gentle". If he's already in mega-tantrum mode, that just further pisses him off, and he will arch his back, throw himself backward, or try even harder to land a palm across your face.
So many times throughout the day, he goes into these fits where nothing consoles him. He will follow us around, trying to hit us, but if we try to pick him up, he arches his back, and pushes away from us. We have no clue how to help him when he's like this, because it seems like everything just upsets him more. We just moved into a home with all hardwood floors, and I'm constantly trying to grab him, before he throws himself on the floor and smacks his head. I can't figure out what the big triggers are for these meltdowns, because it varies so much. A lot of times, it seems to start when he can't have something that he wants, such as more vitamins/teething tablets. Also, when he decides that he wants something that one of his brothers has, and they're not giving it up... but it's also just random, and we can't figure out what the problem is.
He's not verbal at all, and I brought this up with his pedi about 2 months ago. She said that she wasn't too concerned yet, since he seemed 'on target' with everything else... and he has good eye contact, can follow a direction I give him, etc. I didn't talk to her much about these meltdowns, because it hadn't been going on long at that point, and he was cutting 4 teeth, so I brushed it off as that.
Since then, he has picked up a couple of words (cookie, shoe, cracker...), but his frustration level seems off the charts.
Does this sound like typical toddler behavior? Or maybe he's just frustrated that he can't communicate with us the way he wants to just yet? Or does it sound like something I need to discuss with his pedi before his next "checkup"?
Any ideas on how to help him relax when he's in meltdown mode? Or to stop the hitting?