advice ASAP.. temporary custody and ex calling 3 year old

[muslimahmama]

Thanks everyone for your advice and support, but I don't feel safe having this personal information floating around.. I didn't realize non-members can see our posts or locate them via an internet search..

Edited by muslimahmama - 6/24/11 at 7:04am

[Super~Single~Mama]

He went to JAIL for assaulting you, and that was done in front of your 2yo??  What are the terms of his parole or probation?

You need a lawyer.  And not legal aid.  You need a real lawyer - whether it bankrupts you or not.  Start calling around - the state bar association where you live is a GREAT place to start.

[muslimahmama]

Edit  for privacy

Edited by muslimahmama - 6/24/11 at 7:03am

[tinuviel_k]

If your ex must have phone calls with your son always have the calls on speaker phone so you can monitor them and cut off the call immediately if he gets inappropriate. If it is legal you might also consider recoding the calls. That way if he starts saying things that he shouldn't you have proof.

[enjoythesilence]

Did you save the threatening email? I really hope so, because that can be used against him.  I like the idea of recording the calls, if it is legal in your area.  Document everything. Every email, every call, anything to do with him.  Things people tell you about him harassing them.  Get them to write statements, if possible.  Get as much documentation as possible. 

[chimomma]

That sounds very scary, I am sorry you are going through this. I have a somewhat similar situation. I left my abusive husband 6 mo ago. We have a 2yr old and a 4yr old together. We live in the same city so he has visitation with the kids sometimes. If my kids want to talk on the phone with him I just dial and put it on speaker phone and then don't say anything, just letting my kids talk. That way I don't have to talk to him if I don't want to and if he says something inappropriate I can call him on it.

I'm assuming you guys are both Muslim from your screen name, is it possible for you to reach out to the religious community to have some one judge or mediate your case so you don't have to go the court route and pay lawyers? That is what I am planning to do so we can file uncontested divorce with the courts. My ex is trying to get custody of the kids (to punish me) and I could not imagine having to go through that in court.  We are having a sheikh come with his own lawyer to do the legal stuff and I will have my wali there in case I feel things are not being dealt with fairly. I hope it works out well.

[rebiowa]

Is there a women's center near you? they may be able to plug you into some groups, like, in Texas there is Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse that provides free lawyers, or Catholic Charities that also has free lawyers for women and children (you don't have to be catholic). there is help out there, it is just hard to find.

Good luck!