I realize you're not lawyers, but some BTDT experience would be helpful.
DP and I are 3 mos into splitting up.
We were never married. He is on DS's birth certificate.
DS is 20 months old. We have a very amicable split right now - x-DP has our son in the afternoons, to cut down on daycare. He also has two other children with other mothers that he spends time with nights/weekends, so I have DS all but the 4hrs he has him in the afternoons.
We are still not split in everything - we still have joint banking; numerous utilities and such in both names; I carry his phone, for example. These simple things will be remedied with time.
I question two things:
#1 - DS is on the Oregon Health Plan (OR's version of low-income health insurance). In order for him to have it, DP and I have to LIVE together, or they would require state child-support from him. Right now, I'm not opposed to keeping DP's address the same so DS receives this.
So far, I've seen no benefit to going through the state on this "divorce", namely because x-DP doesn't work and therefor has no income. And I've heard from others that because I make $40K+, I'd likely be paying HIM child support.
Right now it works that we just fake addresses.
But, that nothing is being put on the books that we are separated... worries me for the future.
#2 - Me & moving.
I am just finishing graduate school. I will likely need to move within the next year for work - well, if I want a great job, which I do. We knew this when we were together, that moving would be a reality.
What does that mean for custody?
Let me state again that X-DP is very meek. He has two other kids with two other moms who are local and he has never shown a backbone to Fight or do Paperwork, or anything. But, that doesn't mean he Wouldn't. DS is the only child that has DP on the birth-certificate. He is legitimately DAD. He has rights. I just don't know whether or not he'd fight for them. Just because he hasn't for the others, doesn't mean he wouldn't with DS.
I want to make sure that I've covered my bases.
Just because I get a job out of state, can I assume that I can take DS with me?
It seems logical that, at some point, I'm going to have to involve Someone. The state, a lawyer, something bonafide that says I have custody. I don't want to just go on faith that he'd not fight me, and I also don't want to be naive.
I am also not a mean person. We have a great friendship; likely much of this could be figured out with a few conversations. But I want my bases covered.
So... is it lawyer time? Do I contact the state and change his address and, if that means I pay HIM child support, so be it? At least it's on record?
Just some BTDT advice is all I'm looking for. I'm googling actual law-speak as well.