I'm married to my hs sweetheart (about 10 years later lol) and sm to our wonderful little girl.
Background...bm and dh were never married, they split around the time she found out she was pregnant. everyone thought she got knocked up by someone else to try to trap him but when sd was born she was my dh's twin lol now ppl stop him randomly to tell him he couldn't deny her if he tried. anyway sd lived with her mom for about 5-6 weeks after she was born, she wasn't thriving(down 2 lbs from her birth weight)and dh's place wasn't fit for a full time newborn(he had just been taking her for a few hours at atime at that point). hd moved bm and sd in with a close family friend to help show bm how to mother better, well bm didn't like that she was not allowed to come and go as she pleased, um...you need to at least tell some one i'm walking to the store could you watch the baby instead of the homeowner finding the 2 m/o crying on the floor from where she had rolled off the bed. bm left dh's friends house before sd turned 3 mos and left sd there and that's where she stayed until 18 mos. during that time dh would go to the friends house every morn before work and feed/change/bathe sd, stop by on his lunch breaks and spend the evening after work and put her tobed. he would take her and keep her every weekend. at 6 mos dh got at apt across the st from where the baby was staying for bm beacause she was talking about taking the baby back and stayin in a shelter so she could get gov benefit. so he paid for this apt for her for a year(in which she rarely stayed and only visited sd every couple of weeks). sd was 18 mos when the lease was up and he let her know he wouldn't be renewing it, that same day she went to the caregiver's with the police and took sd and with held her for 2 mos until dh got into court. dh won primary custody and then bm cried so the judge actually whited out and switched their names on his report and said she's had her for two months lets see how it goes. she was not awarded cs as dh proved he was providing. we found out 2 months later that she filed through the ag and dh's pay was garnished, he was never served or notified of a court date.
it's been almost a year and half since then and we have had sd about 3 to 3 1/2 weeks out of every month since the order was put in place. bm will call and ask for a few nights here and there. dh lost his job about a year ago and has been staying home with sd because we don't want her in nor can we really afford daycare for him to find a new job. bm withheld sd for about a month around the time we got married which we have been trying file contempt on. long story with a very slow attorney also trying to get primary custody as sd has gotten seriously injured a couple of time while in her care, she doesn't use a carseat and we have her most of the time anyway. we finally got a court date for and she avoided being served so it's being recheduled. here are my questions
Would the juge see giving dh primary residence as status quo given that have her over 75% of the time?
Can it be ordered that bm use a correctly installed carseat, would he be allowed to check? would he have to turn sd over if her mother does not plan to use a carseat?
can the judge order that her mother is no longer able to recieve food stamps or EIC or ther benefits she's using sd for because she does not have the child over 183 overnights a year?
dh stopped paying cs when he lost his job because he had sd most of the time and we could not afford to keep sd well cared for and pay her mother 450 amonth for the 4-6 overnights a month she had her, though we always sent diapers(when she used them), milk, juice, water and snacks for her when bm picks her up? i know it looks bad on dh's part for not keeping up with the cs but it will be almost current when our tax return is garnished. will a judge see dh as horrible for not being current on cs or is it an understandable situation?