4th graders - breast buds and body hair and doctor's warning - menarche not far away

[meemee]

are ur 4th graders close to this yet?

OMG!!! i was at school helping with an art project and working mostly with 4th graders. dd is in 3rd grade. and i was looking at them and they are sooo 'grown up' in personality. and i was looking at them thinking wow this is what my dd is going to be like this time next year. 

and then i noticed. OMG most of the class had breast buds. no wait. actually small boobs - beyond breast buds. dd has bbuds the reason why i noticed. so i spoke to the moms - and with most of them their ped has warned them menarche is not far away. within the year.

omg they have body hair. in fact one of dd's close friends from her class has bb and body hair and the doc's be prepared warning too. omg. in THIRD grade?!!! her mom helps her SHAVE her underarms because she is so embarrased by it. her mom wont trust her with the razor herself. her dd is too young for the razor. 

is that your experience of 4th graders in your school?

these kids are still such babies. people still check in with me when they see a sharp knife in dd's hands. 

i am not concerned about dd. she knows all. she will manage fine. i am a bit concerned about embarrasement of changing in school if she needs to (she hates using the bathroom at school and doesnt usually use it the whole time she is in school). 

i never thought i would be freaking out myself. i am so not ready for puberty. 

or is it that just our school is odd?

[LynnS6]

Ds is in 4th grade. I'd say that there's a huge range for 4th grade girls in our school -- some are clearly entering puberty, some are clearly a long ways off. Most of the 4th graders are a bit 'puppyish' -- they're getting their growth spurts, but they're still clearly kids. I don't remember any 3rd graders with that shape or those issues.

The boys are still boys, and not too many signs of puberty other than puppy feet. Ds' feet have gotten huge this year (and the first thing the delivery nurse said was "look at those feet!" so he's never had tiny ones). 

The difference between boys and girls becomes much more noticeable in 5th grade -- we've got a number of 5th grade girls who are tall, and have clearly filled out into a woman's form, not a girl's. Not too many boys have followed suit.

[dreamymommy]

I think it is very common.  I have seen a lot of girls that age that are developing.  Girls do develop sooner than boys. I myself started developing at 9.   A lot of girls also don't develop until about 11 and up.  It varies.  My now 14 year old had buds at 11, and boobs by 12  but this was a very different and abnormal case because of my child's circumstances not beign normal so it does not apply.

[ollyoxenfree]

Yes, I think it's fairly common. There may be a slight difference in some areas. If your school has an early cut-off date and/or a lot of red-shirting, it would result in older children in the classes.  That might show up in the form of more girls hitting puberty in an an earlier grade, compared to another school district.

In grade 4, the change that I noticed was social. The girls became interested in boys and romance. The boys, of course, were completely blind to the idea.  

[velochic]

Dd goes to a private school and the 4th grade has less than 30 kids in the whole grade, so the sample size of girls in 4th is 15 or less (so take this for what it is worth).  I have not seen this to be true for the girls in 4th.  There is one chubby girl that is more developed than others, but it's difficult to see if it's the weight or she's really developing.  The 4th graders are 9 or 10 years old.  None of the girls in dd's 3rd grade (14 girls total) are showing any signs of puberty yet.  The boys seem to be quite tall compared to the girls, though.  I'm sure the girls will start out-pacing them in the height department soon.

I wonder how a doctor can "predict" when a girl is going to start her period.  The process is different for every girl, even within a family.  My oldest sister started her period when she was 9 and had not developed breast buds or hair.  My older sister, a year younger than the oldest, started when she was 16 and was very well developed when she did so.  I was somewhere in the middle and distinctly remember needing a training bra a few YEARS before I started my period.

I would take the doctor's words with a grain of salt.  Their  guess is as good as yours... and that's what it probably is... just a guess.  I wouldn't start worrying until you are actually faced with the situation.

Edited by velochic - 8/9/11 at 7:07am

[meemee]

Originally Posted by velochic 
I would take the doctor's words with a grain of salt.  They're guess is as good as yours... and that's what it probably is... just a guess.

yeah velochic i agree with you. genetics is more of a factor than what the doctor says. 

i still have years with my dd too.

but as seh is growing up and my own parenting philosophy is evolving i am becoming more aware of the changes and they are huge to me. 

i have to completely rethink my parenting tactics which is new ground for me and i am struggling.

i got breastbuds when i was 9. by 10 i was wearing a bra and i started my periods when i was 10 or 11. so i figure dd probably might start early. my mom started early too and i followed in her exact footsteps. 

i just realised why i am freaking out. my mom and me had bad cramps till we had our kids and then they went away. bad bad bad cramps that only exercise and clearing out the system helped. i could literally feel the pain flush out of me as i sat on the potty. i was so doubled over i could not do any stretches or exercises. 

and i guess i dont want that experience for dd. or the shy element of how to take the stuff in with you to the bathroom at school without anyone finding out. 

4th grade has more girls than boys in this school. the group of girls was perhaps around 50 girls. 

olly i dont know about 4th grade but in 3rd i find there are a few still 8. almost all the kids are 9 and a few 10. this is california. if they had had a sept cut off date like they do now dd now would be in second. 

lynn i find (i guess since i dont have a boy i tend not to notice them) i do this every year. i remember when dd was end of 1st grade (new school) and i was helping out with 2nd graders and since i knew some of the kids i had seen how different they were. so every year around this time i go thru this phase of mine. while here i write about the puberty i am just blown away by the 4th graders 'maturity'. i also notice the difference in interaction between moms and dd's. its more a conversation on an equal level - instead of the teaching moments or i tell you parent child talk i usually hear now. 

i will keep my eyes open to see the 5th grade changes. 

[CarrieMF]

My girls are in Grades 7, 4 & 3.

When my eldest was in Grade 4 there were girls who definitely had breasts & not just buds.  There were girls who had their periods.  There were girls who were just forming buds.  Most of the girls who had breasts & their periods were almost 2 years older than my dd because A) they had early birthdays and were held back a year.  My dd in Grade 4 was 9, these kids were 11.

my dd started to get pubic hair right around when she turned 9.  She is 12.5 & had a small amount of armpit hair.  She has small breasts.  She does NOT have her period yet.

My middle one who is in Grade 4 now is getting a small amount of pubic hair.  She shows no signed of buds.  There is less than a handful of kids who would have breast buds in her class.  None of the girls in her grade have been held back, though I don't know if any started early or not.

My youngest in Grade 3 has breast buds, though no pubic hair or anything like that so I'm not sure if they're true breast buds or an accumulation of fat as she does have a bit of a muffin top at times(she is slim & quite active too). 

Some of the girls in your dd's class may have what looks more like real breasts because they're wearing a padded bra due to only having breast buds(they can become uncomfortable or embarrasing to not wear a bra & the padding helps with some of that).

[bandgeek]

I was 9 when I developed breast buds and started getting pubic hair.  I didn't get my period until I was 11 1/2, halfway through 6th grade.  I see it as the early side of normal.  Definitely not ABNORMAL. 

[2xy]

I started getting breast buds at 8, was wearing a "training bra" at 9 and started getting pubic fuzz around that time, and got my period at 11.5. I was not alone. Many of my friends had their periods before leaving the sixth grade. My mother experienced menarche at age 10 and was already wearing a regular bra by that time.

[littlest birds]

Bandgeek, just like you my dd just had her first (very scant) period at 11.5 and the end of fifth grade.  She started developing before 10yo just a bit and has had pubic hair for a year+ now.  I was really worried that she would have a period much sooner but it was more than a year and now I am not upset by the timing.  She is among the earliest in her class, also the tallest.  (Her poor twin brother is about 6 in. shorter than her--and quite dismayed.)  DD is also older than most in fifth grade since her birthday is November.   Still, she is still definitely a kid, won't wear a bra even though she has prominent breasts and not interested in shaving, both of which are fine by me.  She is homeschooling next year so less pressure at this time of life--yay!  (She only stayed in PS this past year because she has been really into academic team--our other three already homeschool.)

[bandgeek]

Originally Posted by littlest birds 

Bandgeek, just like you my dd just had her first (very scant) period at 11.5 and the end of fifth grade.  She started developing before 10yo just a bit and has had pubic hair for a year+ now.  I was really worried that she would have a period much sooner but it was more than a year and now I am not upset by the timing.  She is among the earliest in her class, also the tallest.  (Her poor twin brother is about 6 in. shorter than her--and quite dismayed.)  DD is also older than most in fifth grade since her birthday is November.   Still, she is still definitely a kid, won't wear a bra even though she has prominent breasts and not interested in shaving, both of which are fine by me.  She is homeschooling next year so less pressure at this time of life--yay!  (She only stayed in PS this past year because she has been really into academic team--our other three already homeschool.)

I was the third girl in both 6th grade classes to get it (yes, we talked! LOL).  The first was one who was a full year older than the rest of us, as she was held back a year.  The other was a girl who was just a big girl in general, tall and a little overweight.  She just LOOKED older.  I was always the shortest in my class until I hit puberty.  Then I shot up out of nowhere and reached almost my full adult height by 12 or so.  Then by high school I was one of the shortest again.  I was definitely an "early bloomer".

I was a *little* young to be dealing with everything, although some of that could be attributed to the fact that I was NOT prepared for womanhood.  My mom avoided talking about it, left it for the schools to educate us.  I was embarrassed to even go to her for menstrual supplies.  I think if I'd had more emotional support through that time I wouldn't have felt so lost and scared.  11 1/2 really wasn't too bad of an age, even with all the support I lacked.  I'm surprised when people feel it's entirely too soon.  It's not.  Our kids will survive. LOL

[One_Girl]

I have noticed a lot of kids start budding then, but that really doesn't seem weird because 8-12 is the average range for puberty starting so 4th grade is right in the middle of that.  Our district has a ridiculously early cutoff so a lot of kids in fourth grade are 10.  In some schools a few of the kids are kept home a year and they are 11 or really close to that in fourth grade.  It is hard to be the one developing the quickest but most girls are developing some. 

[eclipse]

I was 8 when I started wearing a bra (and I needed one - it was hurting to run) and around the same age that I got a bit of pubic hair. I was 10(5th grade) when I started my period, and I'm pretty sure I was the first of the girls in my class to have it.

[jdsf]

My 10.5 yo DD has had breast buds since around her 10th birthday, with pit hair but I think that's it as of yet. Her older sister had them around the time she turned 9 and started bleeding at 11.5. A friend of our family has a 10 yo 4 months younger than DD2 who got her period at 9 and looks about 16. I would guess she's a C cup. Her 11 year old sister still just has buds. Their mom is probably an AA after breastfeeding 3 girls. There is a massive amount of variation. 4th grade seems about average to me.

[belindaJ]

Kids, especially girls seem to be maturing earlier than I remember when I was young (I started breast buds around 11yo and had my first period at 121/2). Oddly enough my own child (now 12) started developing breast buds at 11 too. Unless they are very young (pre 4th grade) then there is no need to worry too much except to make sure the child knows what is happening and can cope with it. It can be difficult if they are very different to their friends, but itsvsomething you have to steer the child through.

[amandasemele]

My dd is 10, she started her cycle the end of her 4th grade year. She already wears a 34 a bra because she has to. Body hair everywhere. It seems crazy at her age.

[philomom]

My daughter and I got our period at the same time... end of fourth grade. I don't think that's unusual.

[prescottchels]

There's a general rule of thumb, that I learned about a few years ago, that once pubic hair emerges you've got about a year, give or take, before the period arrives. This is probably the same thing those docs were using to make their predictions. Of course genetics plays into it all, but we're all set to the same general body clock and progression of milestones too.

[AllisonR]

Holy Camolie! I got breasts at age 13-14 and my period at 17!

I had an early bedtime though. And I am old, so probably not half the hormones in all the clothes and food as today.

I hope DD follows suit.

[mamazee]

I got my period at 13, but didn't get breasts until I was 15. But I was really really skinny.

My dd is 9.5 and is just starting to get a tiny bit of breast development. She's thin to average.