Locking a toddler in her room at night - Page 3

[MsFortune]

Originally Posted by hakeber 
st closed the door instead of tying it shut so she could not leave without their coming to get her, she might not have become so combative over staying in bed.  She might have slept soundly knowing she could leave and go to her mom whenever she needed.  She might have felt safe and loved, instead of scared and imprisoned.  Locking and closing, once again, are very different things.

That's a lot of projection.  We don't know what she was feeling.  Kids in their room do not generally feel scared, and I'm sure she felt safe and loved unless her parents were horrible.  Maybe they were, but tying the door shut does not make them horrible parents.  She may have some emotional and behavioral problems that have nothing to do with her sleeping arrangements.  

Kids are "locked" into cribs, they are "locked" into car seats, they are "locked" into carriers.  Locking them into a room is just like locking them into a bigger crib.  They are safe, they are usually comfortable, and they are contained.  

When I said I close him in, you can consider it locking.  We have a child-proof cap on the knob in DS' room so he cannot open it.  You either have to know how to use the knob (which we do and he does not) or you have to open from the outside.  This is what the OP was talking about doing, and you can consider it locking or not, depending on your point of view.  

[octobermom]

May I ask what about it bothers you? DOes your child frequently wake to play at night? Is your LO a sleep walker (which I've had and it DOES present a whole diffrent frame of thinking) can she even open a closed door? Does you home have extra safety concerns such as balconies or stairs? 

What about co-rooming? I have now two overall better crib than cosleepers but I still strongly feel wee ones need to be with in arms reach and ear shot of a parent for the long haul so we still co roomed. Kid got there crib space but we were just a few feet away..

 I also did use those door knobs in 2 ways 1) to prevent the latter in her own room toddler game of comming out 2,000 times incidently the knob for MINE was her signal it was time to not play it NEVER bothered her she'd try once go Oh okay nighty night shes nutty like that though once she was settled and such or before I went to bed I always made sure the door was open again.. No ones "locked" with sleeping parents. We also used it one OUR door when she co roomed because she was a sleep walker and the dangerous kind.. THe one that would sleep walk and  try to eat household cleaners or trash.. We once found her standing on the desk of her room leaning against the glass on her partially open window (thankfully not opened enough) tells us that shes had to stop the red birds.. second floor window nothing but concrete below... In that cause we DID need to engage with locks but at the same time we NEEDED to keep her with us..

  So in all this my point.. IF your seriously scared and have reasons to believe you child will be in danger then you need to find a way to have a better view.. A door charm/bell something a video moniter something to alert you.. Locking all night is dangerous and can be very frightening.. A non mobile early walker HAS to relay on you and they know no diffrence and should relay on you to respond ASAP if needed... a Walker able to get out should be able to and they will by nature try before calling out.. in a fire ect those moments loss could make all the diffrence.

Originally Posted by sobamom 

I'm definitely concerned about her exploring the apartment while I'm asleep--totally frightens me. 

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by dauphinette 

 You said some moms u knew started the whole locking in thing and now they cant stop....but I'm wondering why as the child gets older would they not be able to stop?  Just curious as I don't personally agree with the idea AT ALL and agree that there are many other options and I would explore all of the options offered in this thread, but I found that statement to be odd and wondered if there wass just something I had missed...

Well not some moms, just my SIL to be specific.  It is merely from where I take a cautionary tale.  The reason they now continue to do so, and feel they have to until she "calms down" is because she has not learned to self-regulate her behavior around the house.  There has been no learning curve.  Learning how to be a responsible family member in the house is a skill that is learned often through trial and error in safe regulated ways.  If they are locked in their rooms they never get the chance to figure these things out, when will they?  When you do you decide to trust them?  If you wait too long they might, as in the case of my DN take revenge every opportunity they can.  They might not, but I'd rather not chance that when there ARE ways to make a room safe, to block off unsafe rooms, and to provide them with access to your room if they need you. 

DN has clearly decided that this was her parents way of controlling her and oppressing her (I KNOW not every kid will have this reaction, but if you have a spirited, energetic, explorer who has been destructive in the past when left alone and unoccupied...I would say it's playing with fire to use restraining techniques to control their damage)  They now have a child who has never been trusted on her own to sleep in her own room without being restrained and at the first sign that they have forgotten she takes her revenge, or when we go on vacation and she can't be restrained she tortures them running out of her room every five seconds and bouncing all over and refusing to go to bed.  She knows it is her power card.  At some point, in the not too distant future I would bet donuts to dollars that she will be locking them OUT.    

I would not have been comfortable with DS being on a different floor from us at the age of 2.5 but we had to move in with my MIL for a few months while FIL was very ill and the way it worked out was that DS was on the first floor and we were up a very steep staircase in the attic.  It scared the bejeezus out of me and I was not at all happy, but we gave it a shot the first night.  We said when you wake up call for us and we'll come get you because the stairs are really steep, okay? And he stayed in his room and called for us but since we were so far upstairs we didn't hear him, so he came to the door, opened it, and shouted again and then we heard him and went down and got him.  At 2 and half, IME, they can understand rules and instructions, especially about dangers and mommy being really scared.  I think it is much better for the parent child relationship to foster a respect of rules and morning routines through trial and error than door locking mechanisms. 

BTW, we are back on the same floor now for the last almost 3 years.  We have an open door policy, in fact we have disabled all the locks that came with the interior doors except for our master bathroom and the office.  It is much safer for us this way.

There have been some really great suggestions here.  I love the windchime one, too! 

FWIW, my DD is a climber too and is now herself (at almost 18 months) transitioning into a big girl bed,  I really do understand the fear of a toddler who is prone to climbing and michief being lose in a house unsupervised.  She usually fusses a bit and then shouts Mommeee!  Or DadEEE! and if it's night we go in and see her and if it's morning, we shout "Come on Emily, Come see Mommy and Daddy!" and in she walks to the side of the bed holding up her arms.  She COULD run rampant and be destructive or wild.  She'd have acess to chairs and couches and shelves that all day long I have to pull her off of.  We have this gate over the balcony doors that she climbs like a baby spiderman all day, but she doesn't in the morning or the middle of the night.   I know how scary it is to trust them at this age, but it's how they learn and it's also how they learn what your feelings are about them, too.  2.5 is a very impressionble age.  They have a real sense of self and identity based very much on how we as parents treat them. Do you see them as a being capable of regulating some of their own needs, or do you see them as an unruly beast who will run rampant given the chance? 

Obviously if the house is a death trap, you should do whatever you have to to keep them safe, but if the house is a death trap, instead of looking for doorknob covers maybe it's time to be looking for a new house.   

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by MsFortune 

That's a lot of projection.  We don't know what she was feeling.  Kids in their room do not generally feel scared, and I'm sure she felt safe and loved unless her parents were horrible.  Maybe they were, but tying the door shut does not make them horrible parents.  She may have some emotional and behavioral problems that have nothing to do with her sleeping arrangements.  

Kids are "locked" into cribs, they are "locked" into car seats, they are "locked" into carriers.  Locking them into a room is just like locking them into a bigger crib.  They are safe, they are usually comfortable, and they are contained.  

When I said I close him in, you can consider it locking.  We have a child-proof cap on the knob in DS' room so he cannot open it.  You either have to know how to use the knob (which we do and he does not) or you have to open from the outside.  This is what the OP was talking about doing, and you can consider it locking or not, depending on your point of view.  

She is my niece.  We do a LOT of talking when we have one on one time.  It is not projection.  And no her parents are not terrible they just felt it was going to keep her safe and never really came from the perspective of children at such young ages having needs beyond the basic ones.  Autonomy and respect for children is laughable in their home.  It doesn't make them bad or unloving parents but it does mean they miss a lot.

Okay, so locking works for you...Right on!  I think it stunts their social growth.  I can agree to disagree. :-D

ETA:  Carseats and carriers don't even factor in here, since these are not ways of leaving the child safely unattended in the middle of the night, and in fact are ways of holding the child safely and close by.  Cribs I can see the agrument you are making there.  But then once my kids have shown an interest in not being in a crib any more I have transitioned them to a bed.  I do think it is developmentally inappropriate to use a crib to contain a child when they no longer need it to keep them from falling out of bed and they feel it is a box or a jail.  Once they express a dislike for being in the crib, the crib has been moved to the garage.  I don't really want my kids to associate their sleeping arrangements with being restrained against their will.

FETA:  I also believe DN has no behavioral issues beyond this particular bone of contention when it comes to bed time, because she doesn't have these problems or struggles at her Gran's house nor mine.  She goes to sleep like a big girl all on her own after stories and songs, and doesn't try to be destructive when we're asleep and when she wakes in the middle of the night or early morning she comes straight to the grown up in charge's room.  Her parents just assume she is trying to be defiant and that she is testing their authority.  I think they are right, but I think the way they react is counterproductive. We are also very close as a family, so I would be very shocked to find out SIL had kept anything about her kids from her brother (DH), especially after all the conversations we have had on the matter.   

Edited by hakeber - 5/21/11 at 2:11pm

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by octobermom 

May I ask what about it bothers you? DOes your child frequently wake to play at night? Is your LO a sleep walker (which I've had and it DOES present a whole diffrent frame of thinking) can she even open a closed door? Does you home have extra safety concerns such as balconies or stairs? 

What about co-rooming? I have now two overall better crib than cosleepers but I still strongly feel wee ones need to be with in arms reach and ear shot of a parent for the long haul so we still co roomed. Kid got there crib space but we were just a few feet away..

 I also did use those door knobs in 2 ways 1) to prevent the latter in her own room toddler game of comming out 2,000 times incidently the knob for MINE was her signal it was time to not play it NEVER bothered her she'd try once go Oh okay nighty night shes nutty like that though once she was settled and such or before I went to bed I always made sure the door was open again.. No ones "locked" with sleeping parents. We also used it one OUR door when she co roomed because she was a sleep walker and the dangerous kind.. THe one that would sleep walk and  try to eat household cleaners or trash.. We once found her standing on the desk of her room leaning against the glass on her partially open window (thankfully not opened enough) tells us that shes had to stop the red birds.. second floor window nothing but concrete below... In that cause we DID need to engage with locks but at the same time we NEEDED to keep her with us.. So in all this my point.. IF your seriously scared and have reasons to believe you child will be in danger then you need to find a way to have a better view.. A door charm/bell something a video moniter something to alert you.. Locking all night is dangerous and can be very frightening.. A non mobile early walker HAS to relay on you and they know no diffrence and should relay on you to respond ASAP if needed... a Walker able to get out should be able to and they will by nature try before calling out.. in a fire ect those moments loss could make all the diffrence.

ITA w/ all of that especially the lines in bold.

That must have been so scary for you octobermom!  I would have been sleepless for nights!  How old was she when she started doing that?

[APToddlerMama]

I haven't read the whole thread...scanned the first page.  We are very AP, and at first glance I thought "whoa! No way!"  But, having read over your explanation, I can see why you'd want to have the door locked to keep her safe so she isn't wandering around the house.  I think it is fine as long as you go to her immediately when she calls for you, etc.  My DS is three and sometimes sleeps with us, sometimes in his room.  We totally child proofed his room so that he can play safely in there if he is awake.   We also have a gate in the hallway the would prevent him from going down the stairs or being able to actually get to the front door, etc., get out, but it gives him space to open his bedroom door, come out into the hallway, and call for us when he wants us.  You can buy some gates that are pretty tall that your DD probably won't be able to get over.  Personally, I would feel much more comfortable with that than locking the door, but I guess it is just a gut reaction and when I think it through it seems like a good way to make sure your DD doesn't get hurt, etc, as long as you attend to her promptly when she needs you so she doesn't feel confined to her room. 

[littlest birds]

I guarantee that there are many, many parents on here who are bothered by this and not getting involved in the conversation. 

I am personally wondering how many techniques for locking a person behind a door there are to choose from, so the reason for this conversation if not to start a debate seems a little odd.  It sounds more like a hardware store question than a parenting question.  (not that parents can't talk hardware)  I can still tell you what I think about actually solving your problem:

I agree with a pp that a baby gate is most suitable.  I have had some athletic adventurers in my time, and I expect a decent gate will most likely last past the time you need it.  Communication and growing understanding on the part of your child will soon become the main prevention for these worries.  The other option that was also suggested above is a door alarm.  Great idea!  We use these in our business to alert when a door opens while we are in the back room and they are cheap, easy to install, and effective. 

Personally, it bothers me that you have made it sound as though everything else has already been ruled and locking the door is the only/best option left.  It's not.  You are allowed to make that decision.  Parents make decisions I don't agree with all the time and I stay out of it.  Unless someone asks for advice--as you have.  This subject is not something I would expect to find much supportive advice about in this particular forum.  We may have a lot of experience dealing with managing toddlers at night in all sorts of situations, so that we have answers for.  We have ideas.  The lock question, not so much.  There are several options for locking doors out there.  I have used hook and eye or deadbolts with keys, depending on which type of door I needed to secure.

[lovepickles]

Originally Posted by MsFortune 

That's a lot of projection.  We don't know what she was feeling.  Kids in their room do not generally feel scared, and I'm sure she felt safe and loved unless her parents were horrible.  Maybe they were, but tying the door shut does not make them horrible parents.  She may have some emotional and behavioral problems that have nothing to do with her sleeping arrangements.  

IMHO if a kid has emotional and behavioral problems locking them up is the last thing you want to do. Kids with extraordinary issues require parents to be equally extraordinary in their response.

[aHikaru]

AE is currently 27 months and she started sleeping in a toddler bed 2-3 days ago.

We had the toddler bed out since her second birthday, to have her get used to it being there and she never slept in it. The other day we were at ikea and she saw her bed and jumped in and got under the covers, after seeing this I let her pick out a new set of sheets (which were the ones on display) and she's been sleeping in her bed since we got them. And yes, she rolls around a lot, but hasn't fallen out yet. Right now, which is nap time, she got out of bed and got a toy, so i went in the room put her toy away and tucked her back in and feel asleep right after. the only difference is that we co sleep in the same room so i think that really helps because she knows ill catch her getting out of bed.

Overall it will only be successful if she is 100% ready or you are 100% ready because if she senses hesitation from you she will def test the boundary's. 

Honestly, AE just potty trained herself about a month ago and senses my hesitation and she'll get a diaper for me to put on, but still pee on the potty.

[octobermom]

Originally Posted by hakeber 

ITA w/ all of that especially the lines in bold.

That must have been so scary for you octobermom!  I would have been sleepless for nights!  How old was she when she started doing that?

started around 15 months then we'd had intermediete occurances lasting a few weeks to a few months each time till she was around 7.. Major mile stones or changes really triggered things.. The first time we had huge breakthroughs in her speech (apraxia) we had some of the most dangerous sleep walking epsoides.. We put her on a toddler bed right beside ours during that time shes was 3.

[ecoteat]

I'm not going to even touch the discussion about whether a toddler should be contained to their room at night.

But I will say that we contained our toddler in her room at night, and how it worked for us.  DD co-slept until 14 months. I honestly can't remember the exact reasons for moving her at that point, but we did and it was good. We put a futon mattress (thinner than an standard mattress) on the floor. We baby-proofed the entire room and set up a monitor. And we had a gate on the door. I would have had no qualms about closing the door, but I liked being able to sneak in quietly by stepping over the gate (the door latch can be noisy) and how easy it was to peek in on her. It was also nice to be able to have her play in there while I was in the shower or something but have the door open so I can hear her clearly. If for some reason we didn't want a gate or closed door, it would have been quite easy to put a gate in the hall that would keep her in her room, the hall, or our room. But that was never an issue--she never gets out of bed in the night or during a nap, so she never even approached the gate during sleeping time anyway. We kept the gate/monitor combo going until she was about 3. I just thought of her whole room as kind of a big crib.

I remember being a kid and seeing a hook-and-eye on the outside of a friend's younger sibling's door, up high, and thinking that was crazy. Then I became a parent and I totally get how that works for some people. Yes, there may be safety issues, but it's also possible that there are greater safety issues with certain kids in certain houses/situations if the kid has free reign of the house while everyone else is sleeping.

[Honey693]

Originally Posted by csekywithlove 

AP and all aside, who could not be somewhat upset/ worried after reading the first post?

I wasn't.  I completely understand a kid who needs to unwind, on their own, in their own space, but won't do unless they're locked in.  My DD1 is the same way when she has huge tantrums.  If don't lock her in her room she hurts everyone around her and destroys things.  If you lock her in her childproofed room she calms down in less than 5 minutes and yells "Mom I'm done tantrum, come get me so we can play!"  It hasn't messed her up for life and she's always happy when I let her out.  This is going to get me labeled as a bad mom on here, but I had to comment since the OP is getting beaten up.

And how is locking them in a room w/a baby gate different from locking the door?  Most house doors are so thin you can hear right through them.  I'm be incredibly concerned about a toddler trying to climb over the gate or stacking things (books in my DD1's case) to get over the gate.

[tzs]

so i just scanned the first page and some of the last and am not 100% sure of where the discusssion has gone.

but to the original post.....
my dd is/was the same way. always better on her own, in her own room in a crib since 5 months or so, cannot fall asleep with me or anybody there at all...has to be by herself..period....and has never had an issue with that. when she needs us we always go to her. 

i transitioned her to a mattress on the floor (i was going to do futon but we got a thicker twin foam mattress topper...it's thin, cheaper, easier to find at stores, and we can always use it later) at around 18 months recently b/c i'm due in may with #2 and i just didn;t want two cribs in the house and i want to sidecar for #2. i put it off and put it off thinking it would be a big struggle. i figured she wouldn;t know how to stay in the bed and she did seem to enjoy her crib....would always run to it when she was tired. so we just childproofed the room and i figured i'd be ok with some roaming and then eventual sleeping but from the first night she's always stayed in bed. in fact, 90% of the time when she wakes up in the am and calls for me she's still in bed and we get to cuddle for a bit. as to the locking, i can't answer to the exact scenario except that at 20 months she can;t reach or open doors by the handle and i shut the door to her room (she falls asleep better that way...no distraction) so i guess in effect she's locked in. but on the other hand she never really tries to get out.....like i said, she kind of waits in bed for me...almost like she's stuck there. a few times she's been waiting at the door for me but that's the extent of it.

even if i kept her door open, i'd still gate off the rest of the house/the stairs and our door would be shut. the house is pretty large and not really childproofed and we have a dog that i like to keep at least minimally supervised around her so wandering around while we are sleeping is not an option (and i'm pretty relaxed about giving her free reign while i'm up and at least aware of her whereabouts.)

[tzs]

ok.....having just read most of the posts, i'm a little confused now...

how is getting a baby gate for the bedroom door in the tallest heights that you can find (so they can't get out) any different from shutting the door so they can't get out? i guess with the gate they can see out (although in our house she would just be staring at another shut door across the hall) but it's not like they could save themselves in case of a fire (g-d forbid.) i mean, to be honest, in a true emergency my 20 month old would be 100x safer locked in her room (where we knew where she was), as i have little confidence that at her age she would have the knowledge or wherewithal to safely navigate herself out of a smoking building.

is everybody here arguing that a toddler should have free range of the house at night or just access to her parents if she needs them? if it's the later then how would a baby gate at the door facilitate that? and what's wrong with allowing a kid access to her parents by letting her call out for them like they would do in a crib (assuming you're not anti-crib....and if you are then i'd like to invite you over to give co-sleeping or room-sharing a try with my kiddo and then try to tell me that having a toddler in a permanant sleep-deprived state is somehow better for her.)

[sobamom]

Alright, this is going to be the last post from me because I feel it's just going to continue to rouse a lot of emotional responses. I think my biggest mistake was choosing such a thoughtless title for my post. I never imagined this would become such a controversial discussion :) Confession: I didn't know Mothering.com forum was only for AP-practicing people. 

For the record, using a door-knob cover isn't really locking the door. You turn it normally from the outside, but the person on the inside has a harder time doing so. Zero fire hazard, in terms of getting to your child. As for your child being able to get out in an emergency, it's debatable whether a frightened/dazed two-year-old would be able and willing to run out of her room and escape outside to questionable safety.  

Second, I think a lot of people read "locking your child in" and jump to a lot of Flowers in the Attic conclusions. I honestly don't intend to use a door-knob cover for the long term. Merely during the transition period--a few weeks/months, perhaps?--when DD is adjusting to a new bed and maybe getting a little too excited about her new-found freedom. I only know what I've heard, which is that night wakings will occur more often during this time. What is the difference between her coming to me for comfort and me going to her to give her that comfort? And yes, when I know she's ready and that it is safe, I will definitely give her the freedom and choice to leave her room at night, as she needs.  

Three, while I gave the baby-gate suggestion a lot of consideration, in the end, I can't see the difference between a gate and a door. Possibly, the reason so many people say a baby gate is okay, while a closed door isn't, is purely an emotional response. I suppose a few of those who responded negatively to this thread co-sleep, so the idea of shutting one's child off in another room WITH a closed door, to boot, sounds like something they would never want their child to endure. The thing is, judging from how well she sleeps and how willingly she goes into the crib herself, I can only assume DD feels content and safe in her crib with the door closed when it is bedtime, the only time I put her in there, and the only time she's ever in any room by herself. I don't see the difference between keeping DD in the room with a barred gate vs. a closed door--just that the former is see-through. Seems like a superficial difference to me, especially if DD is already used to the sight of the closed door at bedtime and I am ready and willing to go to her whenever she needs me. 

I know there will probably be further challenges and accusations from people on this forum, but I think I did my best to explain my situation while remaining civil and don't think there's anything more that needs to be said. Thanks for the stimulating discussion. 

[Cutie Patootie]

My ds will be 29 months on the 3rd of June.  If you have a toddler who is rambunctious and good at figuring things out...which most are, then a simple door knob cover isn't going to do much for you.  My ds came upstairs from downstairs last week.  My husband was watching him and had the downstairs door shut(we live in a 110yo house with doors everywhere) with the door knob cover.  He came out of the bathroom to find the door knob cover on the floor in two parts.  He asked ds how he got out the door and ds said, "I *cracked* it off!".  LOL   So, so much for that.

As for locking a child of any age in their room, I don't think it's a good idea.  They should have access to their parents at night.  We have gates up that make a path to our room, blocking the way to other parts of the house.  Ds has a straight path to our room if he gets up.  It's one thing to be in a crib with the door closed and call for your mom when you get up.  Especially if it's something that has always been.  It's another to be out of your crib walking around an empty bedroom, turn the handle on the door and not be able to get it open or get out.  It's scary.  Toddlers are not dumb, they know that when you turn a door knob, the door is supposed to open.  Being locked in is not a fun feeling and it's not the same as being in a crib you've been in all your sleeping life.  The difference in a closed unopenable door and a gate is probably emotional, but still just as important.  I'd much rather be able to see out and feel like I am being heard, than be in an empty room alone wondering if anyone will hear me or come.  You have other options, you just don't care to entertain any of them.  (((shrug))) 

[JenRave]

...ok ignoring all the arguing...

If you are reasonably sure that she is safe with everything in her room (no choking hazards, etc) and mainly are just wanting her not to explore the apartment while you are sleeping, it sounds like, as some others have suggested, a baby gate is the best way to go.  I would just use it for a little while during hours you are awake to be sure she can't dismantle it or climb over it easily.  Some toddlers are extremely creative escape artists!

I'm not familiar with the doorknob things.  But when my son was small we didn't live in a house with many doorknobs - wow that must sound strange!

[JenRave]

To add on the fire hazard issue - it was my understanding, actually, that it is recommended children sleep with doors shut, as it retards the spread of flame and smoke in the event of a fire anyway.  I don't think I've ever really paid attention to that, mostly just had smoke alarms installed and prayed we never had a fire!

[lawmama1984]

Doors shut doesn't equal doors locked. I think the fire hazard most people are worried about here is, in the event of a fire, the child not being able to get out of their room on their own (although I never thought about it the way someone pointed out....a child might be too frightened to come out on their own in that event, good point), or the parents not being able to get to her quickly enough to grab her and get out.  That's just what I'm thinking about the locking/fire hazard issue

[tzs]

to the OP...i say jump right in....you might be surprised at how smoothly it goes. or at least hoping it goes as smoothly for you as it did for us. and yeah, i was thinking about this thread this am and realized that i think alot of the negative responses might come from parents of kids that still wake up alot at night (maybe?) for us, dd is in her room, sleeps straight through, and then in the am i wake up to hear her singing in bed for a little while or else she calls right out to me...and i always come. part of having her in her own room with the door shut, for us, was making sure she knew that the minute she called 'mommy', that we would come, so that she knew she didnt ever have to resort to more "drastic" measures. it sounds like you always come to your LO as well.

my friend also just transitioned to a floor bed and her kid is the same age as mine (20 months.) they do have the door handles like yours (ours our teh regular ones and dd can't open them yet) and her LO is able to open them. his unusual reaction is that if he doesn't fall asleep right away at night, he'll open the door but won't leave the room...it's like he knows he's supposed to stay in there...and he'll end up passing out in his doorway waiting for them. in the am when he wakes up he goes to their room and crawls into bed with them. i'm not saying that letting your LO open doors like that would work for you, it wouldn't for me with the size of the house and the dog....plus, this kid has gotten himsefl into plenty of trouble in the am while they were still sleeping. i guess it's more to let you know that yes, kids do have the ability to stay in their rooms all night, even w/o "locks." and like i said, the am roaming situation would not fly in our house, it just wouldn't be safe.