Preparing him for daycare. What should I do to make it easier on both of us?

[MamitaM]

I really need to take some time to be a grown up and have some alone time to do things,mainly just running errands with out wearing a heavy baby. The community center near us offers daycare for 3 hours a week. Perfect b/c that's all I really need. I'm going to meet with them on Tuesday to ask my questions and get more info. I hope it goes ok b/c they speak French and not very much English and I'm only just trying to speak a little French,but I'll write some important things down.

Mijo is breast fed and has never had a bottle before really. Today was the first time he drank from his sippy cup and I had to lay him down and hold it for him. Should I keep working on teaching him how to take the sippy cup on his own before I send him to the daycare? Do babies just understand when offered a sippy cup and no boobahs that they need to have the sippy and accept it?

I used to be a nanny and have worked in daycares before and always asked the parents what to do to calm their baby,well my answer is always to give him his boobie when he cries or fusses. That won't happen at daycare though of course so I'm not sure what to tell them.

Anything else I need to know about my boy going to daycare? He's 8 months now.

[P.J.]

Well,  you need to find out what kind of adjustment phase you want for your baby. Many daycares don't even offer this, or they'll say you stay with him the first day (or even just the first hour), and then leave and that's it.

My baby, about to turn one, has just started daycare (3 days/week). It was important to me to have a very long adjustment phase, so i sought out a woman who also did it that way. I took him there one hour a week and stayed with him, in the same room, for about 2 months. Then I would stay in the other room, and we would stay longer, like a couple hours. Then, for a couple weeks I went with them all to the playground (their after-play morning routine). Then I left at the playground and came back an hour later. Then I left him there the whole morning but came to have lunch with them so he could get used to eating there with me present. (We tried to just have him eat there but he cried and hated that the first time, so I had to join in a few times for him to get used to it). Just last week we tried to extend and leave him there for the afternoon nap. It was not easy but  also not so hard I had to go and pick him up ~he still needs some time to adjust to sleeping there though. I hear ya about the nursing thing, and that is why it is not easy for him to sleep somewhere else, without me (he wouldn't take the bottle I left for him). What is important to me is that the daycare woman is willing to find her own way with him and has the patience to allow for an adjustment period.

Anyway, long story short the main point is, DS was able to build trust in and an attachment to the daycare provider in my presence. So far he has absolutely loved being there, and I can see that he trusts her by now. He has been a bit fussy at home, because it is a huge change in his routine as well as his sleep schedule and that is hard on him. But I don't worry that he feels insecure or abandoned since we did the adjustment so slowly.

I know your situation is different than mine, but even if it's only one day for 3 hours, this is what I'd do: Go there with him first for only an hour, and stay in the room but don't engage him unless he wants you to ~ encourage him to play with the other kids and get used to the people who work there. Do that a few times, then bring him there and go in another room (still just for one hour). Then if that goes well, leave him there for an hour. And then two hours, and then three hours. Build up to your goal, basically.

I know not everyone has the luxury of doing it that way, but we did and honestly I would probably rather not have him in daycare if I couldn't have done it that way. For me it was one of the most important factor in choosing where he went. We also did a similar thing with the childcare at our gym...DH or I went there with DS for a few times first before we left him alone there...and for the first time only 1/2 hour, etc...

If a daycare does not allow you to do this, IMO that indicates a lack of care and a place you don't want your baby anyhow. Just my 2 cents.

Edited by P.J. - 5/22/11 at 2:11am