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would you advice me to have unassisted homebirth?

post #1 of 2
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Dear ladies, with my first child we started a homebirth with a midwife, it was in Japan, and then she was like my major source of stress (always looking at the watch and making me feel like I am slow) then she insisted we go to the hospital, where they suggested C-section, i refused (i wonder why they listened to me eyesroll.gif) and ds was born after hard 42 hours labor, but naturally, no induction, nothing. With dd we were in Lebanon and had a homebirth with a midwife, it was a 14 hour labor with no complications, i did get tears like with ds and she stitched me. but again i felt like the midwife was there to interfere (made me lay on my back while pushing, checked me every 5 minutes during my contractions and all the time threatened with episiotomy). Now this time we found a midwife but again she says yes on everything we asks her (although she will make me lay on my back during last 5 minutes she said) but it looks like she is not convinced with anything. so i am afraid it will be another "interference person" whom i dont like to have around. we are searching for another but can't find, and I am 8 months pregnant so we don't have much time left. 

I was wondering can't we do it ourselves me and dh? dh is totally with us being all alone, but i am a little concerned. what about if I need stiches? or what if bleeding happens? or baby is born not breathing? or any other emergency? please tell me what you think. 

post #2 of 2

That's a difficult one to answer! I'm pretty supportive of unassisted childbirth and understand why people would choose it-- especially in a case like yours! Sorry that you've had negative midwifery experiences.

But yes, I'd worry about things like postpartum hemorrhage or other complications. Even as a midwife, I don't want to be the midwife at my birth-- I want someone else watching for and managing those things. However, I have the option of getting a midwife who will be extremely hands off, and even wait in another room just in case of an emergency (something I've done occasionally). It doesn't sound like that's an option for you.

 

Having spoken to women who birth unassisted, I know that they are prepared for emergencies and have done lots of thinking to get to a place of thinking it's a good idea for them. So check in on that board, I think you'll get lots of guidance!

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