Hi ladies. I'm not sure if there is any realistic advice out there for me, or if I just really need to whine. I'm due the 13th and have yet to formulate a plan of postpartum support. My husband is in medical school and will, at best, be able to get 3 day off. We won't even know if that's permissible until the week I'm due when he meets his new attending (boss). My DD just turned 6 and my DS will turn 3 in a week or so. He seems to be regressing - which is literally freaking me out. Refusing bedtime and climbing into bed with us several times a night. (Which is my absolute LIMIT -I can not have him come in and disturb my nights with a newborn or endanger a cosleeping infant by jumping on us.) (While my husband realizes he will have to deal with this post baby - he must be away for a week in July and then will be gone through the week for a month or 2 starting at the end of August.) (ok - THAT I can definitely use advice on! lol)
My in laws are about 45 minutes away. I think they will be some help initially, as far as helping with the older kids, but my MIL is very flaky and although, full of good intentions - not the most reliable person and even if directed - she isn't one to make lunch and clean up after herself - which leaves me often feeling more overwhelmed. She will often promise to take my kids for the day and then show up hours after I expected and out the door 2-3 hours later. My family is 90 minutes away, but they are still working. My mother will try to take off as much of the first week as possible, but she knows that's all she can offer, at best. I am hoping to divide the week in July between both grandparents and get the older kids away, (that's my 1 accomplished plan!)
We live on student loans and are struggling to pay for our greatly reduced homebirthing expense. A postpartum Doula isn't an option for this reason. We moved here a year ago and have only connected with about 2 families. My husbands busy schedule, a tree falling and smashing through our house 3 weeks after we moved here (2 months of major construction!) followed immediately by 8 months of puking - have really isolated me in a region where there aren't a lot of down to earth or stay at home mom type families anyway. (OK - The whining has officially begun!!)
And I'm laughing, but I'm crying.
I feel overwhelmed trying to get everything "ready" for this baby - which shouldn't be complicated, but I'm still unpacking! I'm worried about stress and it's effects on breastfeeding - which was an evil culprit when we moved to a new state when my son was 3 weeks old and daddy started med school when he was 8 weeks. I can't even think up meals to freeze that doesn't involve turning on an oven in the middle of summer.
I have made trays of food for postpartum moms I've never met, b/c of mom group affiliations, but here - I just never connected or found a community.
Any encouraging words? or feedback on ways to handle and stimulate my older kids through it all. This is my last chance to plan - and I just feel lost. I'm scared that i can see depression coming - our situation is so ridiculous. I feel like I should be full of joy and looking forward to what's to come, but instead I'm dreading it. Really, any thoughts on how to prepare for basically being a single mom to 3 over these new baby months would be appreciated.