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privacy advice -- I'm concerned about Mothing and everyone's safety - Page 3

post #41 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post

The mocking forum might be a bit unpleasant but at the end of the day, unless you do post identifiable information there is no danger. It is just a bit weird to imagine people spend their time online like that, no?


it is totally weird. Someone on here let me know that I was being discussed at one of them.. it was really strange. Like, get a life.. really. It was kind of like a train wreck, though. I couldn't stop myself from checking it periodically until it moved and now I don't know what happened to it and I don't really care to find out. That has somewhat colored what I choose to post. I know there are people sitting around reading ALLLLL these forums just looking for someone to make fun of. eyesroll.gif
post #42 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post

Like lots of other MDC members apparently, I don't do twitter or facebook. However, when we post on a public forum (and I heard several times that MDC is THE biggest parenting forum on the web, don't know if that is true) we have to take responsibility for protecting our own identities, if we are concerned about that. Perhaps MDC won't post threads to facebook anymore, but some random person could still do this. There are fora where people dissect MDC threads in a malignant way, complete with theorizing about who we are and what makes us tick.

 

Staying anonymous is probably not that hard - don't use real names, locations, or post too many details about truly unique situations. More than once, I came across my own MDC posts while googling stuff (most recently "oral herpes dangerous for newborns") - MDC is highly visible on google, which is a good thing! Because people might not have heard about natural parenting until they come here. Without MDC, I would never have used cloth diapers for instance.


yeahthat.gif Those of you who are worried about being more anonymous will want to make changes to protect your privacy even though MDC is no longer posting threads on facebook.
post #43 of 102
Here's Mothering's wiki on privacy with some good links about online privacy and information protection for social networking.
post #44 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post

The mocking forum might be a bit unpleasant but at the end of the day, unless you do post identifiable information there is no danger. It is just a bit weird to imagine people spend their time online like that, no?



I went over to check it out. It's understandable to want to snark about people who have different opinions from you. What gives me the creepy-crawlies are the threads not intending to snark where they pretend to care and be empathetic about someone's pain. Just so slimy to sit around and go "oh poor girl" amongst themselves under the guise of caring. Using someone else's pain for entertainment is so pathetic. Won't go back again- too creepy.

post #45 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by katelove View Post

I'm glad to hear that changes are being made. Although, TBH, I've heard the "but we didn't think it would bother you" line from another forum who breached users privacy in a different but no less distasteful way. I didn't believe it then and I don't believe it now.

I will be changing my signature when I've finished this post and I will be much more cautious about posting. I too specifically chose not to "like" MDC on Facebook because I wanted to keep my forum activities separate from FB (which I consider more akin to real life the way I use it).


Your first sentiment worries me. They did say they would stop posting to Fbook. But as of this morning we still have no way for non Fbook users to see which threads are over there and which aren't.

And yes, I was changing my profile this morning to say less about myself than ever before. No one outside my family knows my username and I don't post pictures. Maybe this will be okay.
post #46 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dandelionkid View Post



 

Can you PM me that website? I'd like to be forewarned...
 

 

Can you send to me too?  thanks!
 

 

post #47 of 102
Even more unsettling this morning...
*********************************************************************************************************
copied from the other thread in Questions and Suggestions..... APtoddlermama says.....

Okay. I just signed into FB and noticed something else reallllllllllllllllllllly unsettling. In the Current Discussions tab on Mothering on FB, there is a list of discussions, but not only that. It is also highlighting members changing their info. Philomom...you're on there. Says you just changed your location.



*********************************************************

That really stinks! Please register your upset with admin this morning.
post #48 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post

Even more unsettling this morning...
*********************************************************************************************************
copied from the other thread in Questions and Suggestions..... APtoddlermama says.....

Okay. I just signed into FB and noticed something else reallllllllllllllllllllly unsettling. In the Current Discussions tab on Mothering on FB, there is a list of discussions, but not only that. It is also highlighting members changing their info. Philomom...you're on there. Says you just changed your location.


*********************************************************

That really stinks! Please register your upset with admin this morning.


That does stink. Do you have to have the "Connect with Facebook" thingy activated for that to happen? 

 

post #49 of 102
There is no current discussion tab on FB.

Frankly, I am finding this fear mongering tedious. It's disrupting conversation on other thread and taking over all the MDC forums, it seems. I don't need anyone to be afraid for me. I'm a grown up and understand how the internet works and can make my own decisions. I find much of this outrage to be displaced. And I've been ripped apart by people on other forums myself. It's a hazard of being on the internet, just like if you leave a room in real life, you can't stop people from making ignorant comments.
post #50 of 102
Actually, there is a current discussions tab on mothering's FB page. I'd not seen it before either. If you click the "join the community" button on the left, it lists several of the recent threads with just the first few words and links to mdc. I wonder if that is new.
post #51 of 102
I also see no current discussion tab. The discussion tab that is on fb, doesnt have anything recent on it. The last discussion was over two weeks ago, plus those are discussions that happen on FB, not here at MDC. I just cant find where it is that philomoms location being change even is.
post #52 of 102
It's not the discussions tab, it's the "join the community" tab, with the big I. Maybe it's not public? I'm wondering if it's a new FB pages feature.
post #53 of 102

I just don't see why this is such a big deal.  I mean, get that things have changed and some people feel that they weren't notified.  But it's not like you're talking to your best friend over a cup of coffee at the kitchen table, kwim?  It's a public forum on the internet.  There is no expectation of privacy.  Heck, you know how many times I've googled something only to have a mothering thread be in the first few results?  I just don't get why so many people are so up-in-arms and ready to leave now. headscratch.gif


Edited by Lynn08 - 5/24/11 at 4:21pm
post #54 of 102

Thanks, dawningmama.  I have been looking for that for the last while, and was finding nothing.  

post #55 of 102
I see it now. Still, a screen name and "changed location". Not what it was changed from or what it was changed to. I don't see it as a huge privacy invasion, I guess. But I'm fairly transparent about who I am online and am just careful not to say things here that I wouldn't want brought up at a family reunion. Not that it's stopped people from taking fairly benign statements and threatening to call my husband's church council over them. lol.gif

I do get that people who decide not to be on Facebook don't want to be on Facebook. I can respect that. What's bugging the heck out of me are the five billion threads hurling spurious accusations at MDC and asserting some right to internet privacy that just doesn't exist.
post #56 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post

 Frankly, I am finding this fear mongering tedious. It's disrupting conversation on other thread and taking over all the MDC forums, it seems. I don't need anyone to be afraid for me. I'm a grown up and understand how the internet works and can make my own decisions. I find much of this outrage to be displaced. And I've been ripped apart by people on other forums myself. It's a hazard of being on the internet, just like if you leave a room in real life, you can't stop people from making ignorant comments.


I can understand that viewpoint. But I don't think there's a problem with someone posting a reminder about internet privacy for those who may have let things slide as they became more comfortable here. I've always maintained anonymity, by choosing a non-identifiable username, not posting photos, having a vague or nonexistent signature line, etc., but not everyone realizes how traceable those things can be. For people like you who are aware of their internet presence and are just comfortable sharing more, this type of thread isn't directed at you. But if there's someone who realizes they may have overshared and decides to go back and make some changes, then this thread was helpful, you know? 

 

I do find it interesting that a couple of the people clamoring the loudest for name changes and other privacy-related strategies have some of the most identifiable things in their signature lines/avatars. I can understand being upset that you're not easily allowed to change your username, but it takes only seconds to change your siggy, so if internet anonymity is important to you, why not take the few seconds to at least change that (and your avatar, if it's a picture of you or your kids), since that's something you DO have control over? 

post #57 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post

I do find it interesting that a couple of the people clamoring the loudest for name changes and other privacy-related strategies have some of the most identifiable things in their signature lines/avatars. I can understand being upset that you're not easily allowed to change your username, but it takes only seconds to change your siggy, so if internet anonymity is important to you, why not take the few seconds to at least change that (and your avatar, if it's a picture of you or your kids), since that's something you DO have control over? 


I have no idea. shrug.gif
post #58 of 102
The other thing is, I think it lulls people into a false sense of security to believe that they can stay anonymous online while still posting bits here and there about their private life. You can't. Unless you have an online presence that is completely devoid of any details of your personal life, someone who is bored enough and has no life can probably figure out who you are. I go over this with our youth group kids all the time-- once you put it out there online it is there forever and you can be connected to it,
post #59 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post

The other thing is, I think it lulls people into a false sense of security to believe that they can stay anonymous online while still posting bits here and there about their private life. You can't. Unless you have an online presence that is completely devoid of any details of your personal life, someone who is bored enough and has no life can probably figure out who you are. I go over this with our youth group kids all the time-- once you put it out there online it is there forever and you can be connected to it,

Excellent points.
post #60 of 102
Ah, okay, I see where it is now. You have to click "join the community, so its not like its right out there on the front page. Still, it has links to our threads, right there.

Annette Marie, In some ways I agree with you. We are grown ups and online life is not that different from real life as far as, you cant tell your friends what they can and cant say that you said when they leave your house. I mean, half the places we go to eat, shop, ect are, our actions are being recorded on video. However, we can ASK for this stuff not to be put on fb. I personally dont understand the problem with it being two pages or so deep, but I can see why some people do. I will continue to not "like" mothering on fb until there are no links to our activity here at MDC on facebook. Thats my grownup decision. I dont want to like mothering because I dont want my friends and family to see my posts here.
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