Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama
I guess I don't get why you want your DS to be perceived as being a girl either. I would think it would make more sense to, when something negative happens, stand up for him and tell the person saying "Boys don't cry" - "Yes, sometimes boys do cry, and that is perfectly fine with us."
I taught my ds to defend himself on something similar. He used to carry a doll around everywhere, and people would either think he is a girl, or once they found out he was a boy, make some sort of comment like "boys shouldnt play with dolls" - He would say, "well I'm a boy, AND I like dolls". He does this now with purple, he says "Yes, boys CAN wear purple, see, I'm wearing purple shorts right now!"
How I'm raising ds - toys I choose are all gn - he does have some blocks (that he never plays with), puzzles, games, outdoor toys, dolls, stuffed animals, lots of books of all kinds, dress up stuff, art stuff, etc. He has a couple wooden cars that belonged to his great grandpa, but more for display than playing with.
If I choose his clothes, I choose gn stuff. He has shirts/shorts from both the boys and girls dept. I make 90% of his clothes now, he usually pics the fabric and or the pattern, and I've used both boys and girls patterns. He wears mostly gn colors - orange, yellow, red, turquoise, bright green, brick red. He LOVES purple so a lot are purple right now. The decorations on them are based on his interests - he has a sea turtle, a shark, a bike,, a sailor outfit, a couple gardening theme, a whale, rainbows, watermelon, one with flowers (his hair is insane in that pic!), purple stripes, a giraffe... My dad does travel around the world and brings him shirts back from different countries - most are blue or red because thats all they have, they usually don't even have "girl" options (pink), so even if he were a girl he would be brought the same things.
He has a kilt he likes to wear, and his favorite swim suit is euro style purple velour shorts and a rash guard (white or orange, and I'm making a purple one)
His activites are gn too - swimming, story times, science (boys and girls in the class!), and gymnastics. He will take dance in the fall. He took ballet last summer and was the only boy (out of 12) but loved it. He took a "little sports" class in the past, which I loved because the class included both boys and girls and the 'coach' treated them all the same.
Doesn't matter what he is wearing, we ALWAYS get "girl" instead of "boy", from people of all ages. I never bother to correct them because it doesn't seem to matter. He only corrects people once in a while, but usually doesn't notice or mind. It is a HUGE difference in peoples interaction with him once they find out he is a boy. We often (at least once every single time we leave the house, literally) get "she has beautiful hair/eyes" or just plain "wow, she is beautiful". And once he starts talking "she talks so well for being so little" (he is really tiny for his age). They find out he is a boy and don't know what to think "oh ummmm well he is a pretty boy" or "oh wow he will be great with the ladies" (95% of the time I get one of those two responses), or my favorite adressed to me after he has said "actually, I'm a boy, but thank you", - "Is he really a boy?". Um no, he just said that to confuse you, sorry but I'm not going to "prove" it to you, and why does it matter?
Once its established that he is a boy, they say "he talks so well for a boy", or "how old are you? wow you are big!", "you can jump high" (he likes to jump, when he is a "girl" people comment on how "she must love to dance", which turns to jumping when he is a boy - same action!). Kids even treat him different. They want him to play house if he is a "girl" or tag if he is a boy. They help him more as a "girl" on playground equipment, react differently if he falls (he falls a lot!), etc.
As far as how he acts: he plays swords (with a stick, I don't buy toy weapons), wearing purple, carrying a baby doll on his back. He reads a book about pirates, and then a ballerina one and then 10 all about animals. He loves to sing and dance, and then play what he calls "rough and tumble". He doesn't care if people think he is a boy, or a girl, and he plays with both boys and girls and willingly participates in whatever they happen to want to play. He is also very smart and funny and articulate. He is polite and knows how to have a conversation with an adult, kids, and even little ones!. He is, an awesome kid. I really hope that him being a "male" doesn't change how I raise him, I try not to let it matter as much as I possibly can, and I give him oppertunity to choose between activites, clothes, toys, etc, without bias as to gender specifications.
By the way, friends we see often think people are crazy for thinking he is a girl all the time, they are surprised when I tell them this. Maybe because I joined the mom's group online and they knew I had a boy before ever meeting in person, but I dunno. To me, even with me trying to raise him gn, he does do some "boy" things (like he loves pretending he has a weapon - he is tv free, we don't allow toy weapons (even imaginary ones are not allowed in the house or to be pointed at people)... he saw a kid at the park playing guns and has been hooked ever sense, even with me trying to get him to stop!
The article - it specifically says they will only keep the baby's gender a secret as long as ALL of the kids are comfortable with it. Because of that, I don't see a problem with it. It is a little weird they decided to do an article about it, but maybe its because so many people asked them "why" and they just wanted to put it all out there so they would quit pestering. I don't see what it matters, its their family and thats what they feel is best for their kids.
(he loved this dress, too bad it was a custom order and not for him!)
Edited by leighi123 - 5/27/11 at 8:38pm