Parents keep child's sex secret - What do you think? - Page 12

[KaliShanti]

I think it's going to be tough on the child socially whether he or she goes to school or not and I think it invites all kinds of psycological issues.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by KaliShanti 

I think it's going to be tough on the child socially whether he or she goes to school or not and I think it invites all kinds of psycological issues.

How so? The child is free to decide when s/he is ready for this information to be given.

What kinds of psychological issues do you think it will invite, for the child to be able to make this call?

[coffeegirl]

Originally Posted by meemee 

but it doesnt sound like a social experiment. 

its a family decision to do something differently - that's all. 

for that matter isnt everything we really do a social experiment. the fact that i practise consensual parenting - isnt it a social experiment too?

they are trying to live their philosophy. what is wrong with that? 

You having a certain parenting philosophy is a bit different. And the child doesn't have a say in this experiment.I can see if s/he gets to the age of reason and then makes the decision. But this is all about the parents making a decision for their child, as an experiment. As far as I can tell. 

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by coffeegirl 

You having a certain parenting philosophy is a bit different. And the child doesn't have a say in this experiment.I can see if s/he gets to the age of reason and then makes the decision. But this is all about the parents making a decision for their child, as an experiment. As far as I can tell. 

Did you read the article? The child gets to decide if and when to reveal this information. The child is not required to keep his or her gender a secret. The parents are simply not giving out this information until such time as the child wants it given out.

So I guess you could say that they're making a choice to let their child make the choice. In that case, of course, we are all making choices for our children, including those of us who try to parent responsively rather than doing CIO, and so on. I guess even protecting our children's right to make their own choices is a choice we are making "for" them, as in, on their behalf.

I don't agree, though, with the idea that it's always a "social experiment" whenever parents follow their instincts to do something outside the mainstream. We do many things as parents without knowing exactly what the result will be - but these are our beloved children, not objects in a petri dish. We can't always know that we are making the best choices, however hard we try to be sure, but this doesn't mean we are experimenting on our children.